Sorry kids…no comedy today. Tune in tomorrow when i’ll be my usual jovial self.
[Author's note: Miss Demeanor is my girlfriend and Thirst Lady to my FASe (Functional Alcoholic Slurperson). For more info, check out AlKHall-hics: A Glossary.]
A couple weeks ago, i had a bottle of wine at lunch and a six pack of beer after work before heading back home.
Feeling no pain, i entered the apartment and walked into a sobering discussion with Miss Demeanor. As you probably have guessed, i have difficulties with all things sobering.
Hats off to Miss D’s bravery, though. While i have never been (and never will be) physically violent during a binge, i am subject to intermittent bouts of anger that can be quite intense.
“I don’t want to marry you because you drink,” she told me.
Brief interlude: We won’t be going into the administrative reasons why Miss D’s and my lives would be easier if we tied the noose knot.
Ok, she may have candy coated the message and drawn it out longer with a few hems and haws but basically “I don’t want to marry you because you drink” was the message.
Then, just a couple days ago, in the aftermath of a dinner party that went liquid, she cried all day and said the me i was when i drank had been revealed to her and she hated him.
This is a problem because Miss Demeanor is the best i can do. I say that a little tongue in drink because what i mean is, Miss D is perfect for me and it would be impossible for me to find a better girlfriend.
Now i’m not an ugly guy and quite a few sweet strangers slip me a subtle smile as i stroll the streets (and certain senders are even somewhat sublime) but i’m not interested. None of them would want me once she knew who i was. Miss D does a damn good job of accepting as many aspect of me as she possibly can.
This is not to say i love her simply because she loves me. She is a beautiful woman. Long black hair, stonewashed denim eyes, cute freckles, skinny… She is also a sweet, caring and giving lady who easily won the love of my kids and makes the lives of everyone she comes in contact with a little better. She is intelligent, knows most things about everything, and deftly wields a vocabulary larger than this humble writer’s. She’s practical, sensible, sensitive, and laughs at my jokes. She’s more than i could dream of.
Cold Hard Facts
- i believe that love should be effortless, and when someone loves you it should not be for who you could be but for who you are.
- i’m a drinker. Not a social drinker but a social drunkard.
- Drinking is fun and builds experiences.
- i believe the purpose of life is to have fun and collect experiences.
- Some experiences are hurtful to myself and others.
- My drinking adversely affects my relationships with Miss Demeanor and my kids.
- i don’t want to damage these relationships.
- These relationships are more important to me than alcohol.
That’s the bottom line. These relationships are more important to me than alcohol.
i intend to do everything in my power to continue drinking and preserve a healthy relationship with the people i care most about. But if Busch comes to shove, there are more important things in my life than alcohol.