Blow Me
In my continuing effort to serve you as the FASe of the D-Generation (Drinking-Generation), i humbly present the following public disservice:
i Got Your BAC: Blood Alcohol Content For Dummies
Part 2: What It All Means
Lifted From Wiki
BAC results range from 0% (you’re dangerously sober) to 0.5% (dangerously drunk). The current law in the States dictates that anything over 0.08% makes you police bait if you’re behind the wheel.
Here’s what it all means for us normal people:
0.01-0.029%
What You Do
- Remember you have a watch
- Have taste
- Feel like crap
What You Shouldn’t Do
- Feel superior
- Make fun of drunk people–remember, you’ll be one soon enough
- Stop drinking
What You Can’t Do
- Say “No more for me. I’m done.”
- Leave
- Have fun
0.03-0.059%
What You Do
- Pretend you’re not drunk
- Overestimate your looks and your intelligence
- Believe everything you say
What You Shouldn’t Do
- Drink stronger booze
- Play games in traffic
- Allow anyone to film you
What You Can’t Do
- Count how fast you drink
- Say “Preliminary cinnamon”
- Accurately judge the passage of time
0.06-0.10%
What You Do
- Begin every sentence with, “I really shouldn’t say this, but…”
- Walk into walls and spill your beer
- Sing TV theme songs
What You Shouldn’t Do
- Flirt with the ugly person you find “interesting looking”
- Convince yourself everybody pees against public buildings
- Think karaoke is a good idea
What You Can’t Do
- Stay out of the bathroom for more than thirty minutes
- Say “Subliminal ethnicity”
- Call home, ’cause your significant other will aurally ream you a new one
0.11-0.20%
What You Do
- Pick fights
- Cry over everything
- Think you can dance (and insist on proving it)
What You Shouldn’t Do
- Go anywhere near a phone, you’re now in drunk dialing territory
- Join a drinking game
- Start a friendly game of “I’m gonna tell you what I really think about you.”
What You Can’t Do
- Stand still
- Stop drinking
- Say “No, I couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing.”
0.21-0.29%
What You Do
- Anything and everything
- Forget everything you say
- Wake up covered in your friends’ practical joke
What You Shouldn’t Do
- Look up pictures of yourself covered in the practical joke on the Web
- Debate anything with your significant other
- Ride in a car with a nice interior
What You Can’t Do
- Stand up
- Sit up
- Make complete sentences
0.30-0.39%
What You Do
- Pee your pants
- Hit on everything
- Take everything way too seriously
What You Shouldn’t Do
- Brag about peeing your pants
- Heed the call to expose private body parts
- Sleep on your back
What You Can’t Do
- Talk
- Have ‘just one more’
- Say “Call 911″
>0.40%
What You Do
- Pass out
- Leak bodily fluids through several orifices
- Die
What You Shouldn’t Do
- Expose yourself to open flames
- Leave the bathroom
- Die
What You Can’t Do
- Anything and everything
- Wake up
- Breathe
