From the juiced-box and a message for the D-Generation: Amy Winehouse – Rehab
July 14: You Can Get Her Drunk But You Can’t Take Her Anywhere
Well you can, but you wouldn’t want to.
Amy chewed through an IVodka drip and bed restraints to escape to a movie premiere, but stopped by a Clown College first for some makeup and wardrobe. Hell, when it comes to bows, go big or go home.
Why am i posting this train wreck? For the chuckles of seeing Amy drunk yet again? Let’s test that theory, shall we?
Nope, nary a chuckle. Not even a chuck.
Maybe i posted this because the movie Amy went to see premiered was Psychosis because Reg Traviss, her boyfriend, wrote and directed it. KA-tching, right?! Bells are a ringin’ all through your pretty little heads right now and this is the star that’s floating comically around your skull.
Yes! Katrena Rochell! ‘member? Katrena was “Rita the Junkie” in Kick-Ass. Not only did i write a kick-ass review of the movie i also interviewed Katrena for The Booze Talkin’! The pictures of her in the Bar None turned out something like this…
The tie in to all this is that Katrena appears in Psychosis as an actress and was one of the executive producers! Go ahead and read the interview again, you don’t believe me; we talk all about it in there.
It’s one small freaking world, let me tell you, but i wouldn’t want to buy it a drink.
Didn’t get your fill of the dregs? i keep them on tap right here.
July 21st, 2010 at 4:21 am
Yech. Amy Winehouse reminds me of a vomit stain i slipped on once outside a club I went to. I twisted my ankle and ended up having a couple of bouncers leaning over me asking if I was okay, in that kind of leering, were-so-laughing-about-this attitude I find bouncers shouldn’t ever have. I thought about swinging my fist and claiming later to be insane with pain, but figured eating my food through a straw for the rest of my life wasn’t worth the laugh I’d get when a weedy bloke my size took a swing at Lou Ferrigno’s evil twin brothers.
Anyway, if it wasn’t for her singing voice (which, I’ll admit, is pretty decent), Winehouse would just be another train wreck to stack alongside Brittany Spears (whose voice is shit), Paris Hilton (who should be bashed in a burlap bag and bundled into the nearest canal to save our precious fucking oxygen) and LiLo (who isn’t even a singer, but sounds like shit anyway) as prime examples of how NOT to be famous.
Here’s a thought. Just imagine waking up next to Amy Winehouse. Go on, imagine it. Now THAT shit is fucked up.
July 21st, 2010 at 11:21 pm
Awesome story! Thanks for sharing, man.
As for Lindsay’s not being a singer… Are you sure?
Thanks for patronizing me,
Al K Hall
July 22nd, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Is this supposed to convince me that she’s an actual singer? I’ve seen better jobs at a karaoke bar where a bunch of Asian drunks belted out a stirring rendition of “The Nips Are Getting Bigger”.
So yes, I’m sure she’s not a singer. Edith Piaff, Barbara Streisand, Dusty Springfield, hell, even Celine fucking Dion are all singers.
The above clip just goes to prove that old saying: they were too busy considering whether they could, that they didn’t think if they should.
July 22nd, 2010 at 10:52 pm
Yeah, the video was kinda proof that she isn’t a singer. Hence the “Are you sure?”
Too smart for me, brother!
Thanks for patronizing me,
Al K Hall
July 21st, 2010 at 8:22 am
Even those with good voices pick unfortunate material and partners. Church is also known for her excellent pipes, but neither Charolette nor Amy should have attempted this:
July 21st, 2010 at 11:40 am
God no. Nonononononononono.
Jeezus Ken, give a man some warning before posting stuff like this, I think my ears are bleeding. LOL!!!!!!!
I retract my previous statement about her having a decent singing voice.
July 21st, 2010 at 11:25 pm
i LOVE THIS! This was the best laugh i had all day, swear to god.
“Beat them…Just beat them…Then you won’t have to meet them.”
July 22nd, 2010 at 4:44 pm
If only they’d had an Ashley Simpson mime screw-up, this clip might have been worth it!! LOL!!!!!
July 22nd, 2010 at 10:53 pm
LOL! Dude, i’m not sure i even know what this means but it’s cracking me up!
Al K Hall