From the juiced-box and the recipe for a St Patrick’s Day: The Pogues – Beer Beer Beer
[Press 'Play' for Póg Mo Thóin, or Kiss My Ass]
‘S Ain’t Patrick’s
Guess what and i’m gonna tell you anyway so you don’t have to. i never liked Saint Patrick’s Day. i know i’m s’posed to and everything because i’m all alcoholic and as the Temporal Functional Alcoholics Slurperson my official slightly askance stance is i’m leaning towards it.
Still, it always scared me to death. First off, there’s this whole “It’s the best party day of the year” insanity or the “Oktoberfest for spud lovers” mentality illness that gets your hopes so high that whatever happens tastes more like New Year’s Eve let down and green hot dogs on their way back up than anything approaching fun.
Second off, who the fuck’s idea was it to make St Patrick’s Day the 17th of March? Seriously, this means that only once every decade will St Patties fall on a Friday night. Partying on a fun day is mathematically eliminated. The other nine years in a row, and don’t ask me how this happens ’cause you know how much i don’t get about math, Saint Patrick’s falls on Tuesday. Or, like this year, Thursday. And sometimes Monday but never on Funday which means work with a hangover. If you ask me and you really should because i know tons of shit, Saint Patrick’s Day should be like Easter and always on a Sunday with a day off after. Yeah, if i were drinKing, that’s the way it would be.
So this year, i boycotted Saint Pat’rick’s Night and Day and went to AA instead. Didn’t drink anything green but i had a good laugh with cool people, some of whom were Irish from Ireland Irish, and today i felt good enough to write. Plus i got to look up hot pictures of Lassies, and i’m not talking about dogs, Bitches.