Before we get any deeper into this shit, you gotta check this song out…
November 28, 2011: You Now Have A New Slogan
Say “hello” to Mark Wach, as in “Wach ya doin’?” Which he would answer by sayin’,
“Gettin’ drunk and shootin’ the shit.”
“‘Shootin’ the shit’, Mark?”
“Yeah, you know, shootin’ the yard…the lawnmower… The shit.”
They grow ‘em a special kind of weird in Florida.
Mark was all drunk and shooting his lawnmower with a .380 pistol, which looks something like this for those of you who don’t live in the United States and get them free in your cereal boxes. The police come over because apparently shooting your lawnmower is illegal in Florida, and didn’t they make a CSI Episode about that with Horatio on one knee, tearing his sunglasses away from his face while saying, “It’s what Redneck people do.”
Because that’s the new slogan and exactly what “Off The” Mark said when the cops were throwing his ass in the cruiser. First, he said he shot his yard all the time (and if it was dead, this would explain why he could feel safe to shoot the lawnmower) and when the cops got on his case for whuppin’ on his 18 year old son, Wach-o retorted,
Fighting’s what Redneck people do.
So next time someone doesn’t like what you’re doing and is demanding an explanation why you’re doing it, just tell them, “This is what redneck people do.”
OK, you know me (and if you don’t, it’s what redneck people do), i fucking live and breathe for this kind of news story because i can get all up inside it with the funny humor and the all day looking for photos to accompany it. What can i say, it’s what redneck people do.
So sit back and make yourself comfortable because i got fucking redneck epic for your asses.
Redneck Boys Will Be Boys
Redneck Boys Attend Redneck Games
And Hook Up With Redneck Women
Click on the Shot for the Wallpaper
Or Themselves
Before Settling Down In Their Trailer Park Estate
Click on the Shot for the Wallpaper
And Finishing Up In The Bar None
December 3rd, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Now, I like me some shooting. I just do. A .454 Casull is my favorite gun and damn it if going to add a motorcycle rally to my bucket list along with Burning Man. (look it up if you haven’t heard of it. RIGHT up your alley is my guess. They have a clean and sober camp…)
Al, I KNEW you would have me laughing out loud! Damn. I needed that.
thank you…. xx Jen
by the way… I am an EXCELLENT shot but would NEVER waste good ammo on my yard or my lawnmower. Only on a propane tank…. Yes sir. not that is some FUN!
December 4th, 2011 at 2:00 pm
So glad you could stop in, Jen! Nice to have you around. Plus, as the Bar None is all about freedom, you can even bring your gun.
i’ve heard a lot about Burning Man but i didn’t know about the sober section! Now i’d really like to give it a ‘shot’!
Glad you could find some funny here.
Thanks for painting patronizing me,
Al K Hall
December 4th, 2011 at 3:43 am
Sorry … couldn’t listen to the song … couldn’t. Mullets (the hair) … can’t even look at it. And missing teeth, oh fuck!!! OK … i’ll go back now because your writing is so much better than a red-neck version of life. melis
December 4th, 2011 at 2:07 pm
‘Your writing is so much better than a redneck version of life…’ Thanks for the props, Mel, but i’m pretty sure anal crabs is better than a redneck version of life. Still, they seem to be happy and i guess that’s the most important thing in the end.
Thanks for patronizing me,
Al K Hall
December 4th, 2011 at 3:45 am
Oh God, have you lived in FL? Sorry .. i just read a book that has changed my ENTIRE vision of Florida. …
December 4th, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Hi, Melis!
Nope, never lived in Florida but it sure crops up a lot in the Dregs. What was the book?
Thanks for patronizing me,
Al K Hall
December 4th, 2011 at 3:46 am
I do like some of the outfits. I AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF! I though i sloughed on “dressing up”. JE***!
December 5th, 2011 at 2:34 am
As much as I’d like to laugh my ass off about these Redneck idiots, I’m sure there’s people like this here in Australia too, if I looked hard enough.
I do like some of these pics, though Al! Some of them are outright HILarious!!!!!
December 5th, 2011 at 10:49 am
The Rod!
There are people like this everywhere, that’s what makes them so great. Hell, it’s like the drunk people i can’t stop making fun here, and god knows i was one of them long enough.
Glad you got a kick out of the pics, brother.
Thanks for patronizing me,
Al K Hall
December 7th, 2011 at 1:21 pm
LOL — quite the post, m’dear. Great picture finds! Scary picture finds. I’ve lived in NE Colo and Oklahoma, and some of those are all too real, heh.
‘Course this got me all started on some “You might be a redneck if…” jokes. Found a good link here: http://www.fortogden.com/foredneck.html.
December 7th, 2011 at 11:45 pm
Angel!
Thanks for braving the bowels of the Bar None to say ‘hey’. i’m glad you got a kick out of the jokes and some of the ones in the link you attached made me crack a smile as well. It’s true that few of my readers know trailer trash as much as we do.
Thanks for patronizing me,
Al K Hall
December 12th, 2011 at 5:01 am
Dunno how I feel about your posting my family albums up for the world to see, but the folks down home are right proud.
December 12th, 2011 at 7:16 am
Whoa! Is the last chick in the bikini your sister! Hook a brother up, yo.
Thanks for patronizing me,
Al K Hall