Booze Revooze: ARGO

Argo poster Bar None Booze Revooze Movie Review Argo

From the juiced-box and the soundtrack: Artist – Song

[Press 'Play' for a song this movie deserves]

Ramblings: Argo For It

Final Proof: 4 ½ Shots

4 & 1-2 shotsYou know how you get drunk on Thanksgiving? The second you arrive you feel at home and you settle in knowing the food is gonna be good because your mom’s a great cook and your little brother cracks you up and your dad will get drunk on Wild Turkey and tell some stories and your sister is a drama queen that makes the meal a little tense but not too much, just enough to keep you on the edge of your seat and the best thing about the dinner is none of these things but it’s the buzz you know is gonna come and only get better because it’s not the holiday getting you off, it’s the knowing it’s good while it’s happening. That’s what you’re going to be thankful for: you won’t wait until later to look back on this night fondly—you’ll feel damn good about it while it’s in your lap. That, Barmaids and Beerhounds, is exactly what Argo is like.

Argo 01 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

On the Set of the Porn Version of Argo: Arcum

Dear Ben Affleck,

You are a fucking genius.

Best Regards,

Everyone

i’m only going to say this once because to say it twice would be stupid. i fucking love this movie.

Be honest, Ben Affleck isn’t a bad actor but he looks better than he acts. Still, he’s a better director than either of those put together. Don’t believe me? Check out where i already said it when i reviewed The Town which was another kick ass movie.

Argo 02 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Ben Affleck and the Ayatollah Howmany in a Battle of the Beards

Want me to give you some proof other than just saying he’s great over and over like a grateful groupie in his trailer with the residue of a tequila body shot mixing with sweat drying on her stomach while she’s being so ecstatically ridden she doesn’t even care he’s not wearing a condom? Sure, i can do that.

Smart Affleck kept the style of the 70′s throughout the entire movie and not just the props (pull tab cans of Tab, Star Wars action figures…) but the look and feel of the film as well. Hell, even the Warner Bros opening logo is the one used 1972-1984 and is all scratchy looking like the film was found back then. There’s that but there’s also the realism that Argo soaks in—for example the intensity of the Iranians taking over the American Embassy in Tehran in 1979. That scene is even more powerful because Affleck lets the story tell itself rather than trying to force it into the position he likes best.

Argo 04 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

“The 70′s is calling; they want everything back.”

Big Ben has this sensitive touch and it would have been way easy to pour on the drama and the fear and the shock and the tension but instead of being heavy handed his delicate touch puts in only the right amount of each and the overall effect is poignant respect. Like Canada. Who knew Canada was cool? Go ahead and make all the Canadian jokes you want to, i’m giving you permission, but when you’re done add a little “Thank You” because those pussies have balls. Argo will show you that, too.

Argo 03 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Canada: The 51st State…they wish (Thank you, Canada)

No, i did not give this movie a full 5 shots and i’ll tell you why even if the explanation is boring. The first reason is the ending went on too long. Ben Gay spent a lot of time wrapping things up and there wasn’t even that much present. Next, he got a little carried away in the final scenes at the airport. Sure, he could’ve made it schoolery and that would’ve sucked harder because i would have given it less than 4½ shots and i woulda bitched that a movie isn’t a documentary and he should’ve taken some liberties to make it more exciting and he took my advice but he took it too far, is all. The last reason i didn’t give it 5 shots isn’t the movie’s fault. Argo is just a spy movie. Sure, OK, it’s a spy movie that rises above spy movies like a cloud of sensa-million floating out of James Bond’s mouth and going right over his head, but still, it’s a spy movie, people.

Argo 05 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

“Hello, this is Central Intellge–hold on, I can’t read the whole thing.”

In the end, Argo makes you feel something (which is better than feeling something in the end), exactly like the Thanksgiving i talked about up top. Affleck added the right amount of action (except a little too much at the end), humor, drama, history to make a movie you will remember when you’re going around the table, telling all the movies you’re thankful for.

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 1 Shot

Argo Sex (Nancy Stelle) Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Nancy Stelle – Swissair Flight Attendant

The actresses were beautiful, as is my want, but hiding out in a Canadian embassy doesn’t really lend itself well to sex scenes in the shower, bikini pool parties or playful lesbian exploration. Point is, just because there wasn’t a lot of coming going on doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out and see Argo.

Speaking of coming out, Clea Duvall has played a lot of lesbian roles and lesbians seem to think she’s a member of the Clan of the Cave Bare, so i’m thinking all we need is an exposé in the Bar None to push her all the way out of the closet. It goes something like this.

Clea DuVall 2012-11-06 Argo Wallpaper Bar None Booze Revooze Movie Review Argo

Clea DuVall Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

i got more Clea shots in my nether drawers. Just scroll down to the end of this shit, then look for the link that says “Continue reading”, or the sign that says “Drawers”.

Also making an appearance was the beautiful Kerry Bishé, and the 70s really suited her. Of course, there’s quite a lot that suits her and here’s what i mean by that.

Kerry Bishé 2012-11-06 Argo Wallpaper Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Kerry Bishé Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

There’s also some drawer shots of her down there. Keep going lower until you hit bottom.

Silken Butterflies

There were gobs of Silken Butterflies in this and i’m gonna start by talking about Nancy Stelle, the best one. And i’m not saying she’s the best because she was brave enough to let me interview her for the Booze Talkin’, because i don’t need to. Nancy played a Swiss Air flight attendant and because Ben Dover cut some of her scenes, you’ll see more of her here than you will in the movie.

Nancy Stelle 01 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

There’s more better of where this came from in my Booze Talkin’ Interview with her.

Speaking of Booze Talkin’ (and isn’t everyone), i’m also going to do an interview probably for sure with the beautiful mind Amitis Frances Ariano, who was a Persian Dancer. She’s getting medical exams now (to be a doctor, not a patient), so the interview will have to wait until after she aces her tests. Here’s a sneak preview.

Amitis Frances Ariano Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

i say “probably for sure” because sometimes silken butterflies say they’ll do the interview and then they flit away without a word when i send the questions. Such was the case of Kelly Curran, who plays the lead of the movie within a movie during the dress rehearsal script reading. First, she accepted the interview then sobered up and ignored me like i was a tax collector ex-boyfriend.

2012-11-06 Kelly Curran Argo Wallpaper Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Kelly Curran Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

You know who is adorable? Because i do. It’s Sheila Vand. Sheila plays the Iranian maid and she does a kick ass job speaking Iranian, like i would know if she didn’t. What i also know is she has the cutest nose i’ve ever seen and it goes really well with the rest of her. Check it.

Sheila Vand 2012-11-06 Argo Wallpaper Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Sheila Vand Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

How could i not have shots of her in my drawers? Scroll down and you’ll see…

There was also an all too brief appearance by the one and lovely Taylor Schilling who showed up at the end as Tony’s wife, Christine Mendez.

Taylor Schilling 2012-11-06 Argo Wallpaper Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Taylor Schilling Bar None – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

Blah blah blah Drawer Shots blah blah.

One of the nice things about Argo was all the scenes they filmed in airports and airplanes, which means we get Swissair Gate Agents like Annie “Not So” Little…

Annie LittleBar None Booze Revooze Argo

…and British Airways Flight Attendants like model Allegra Carpenter.

Allegra Carpenter 2012-11-06 Argo WallpaperBar None Booze Revooze Argo

Allegra Carpenter Bar None Wallpaper – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

Definitely more shots of her hanging out in my drawers.

For those of you more interested in Arguys than Argirls, there was the still studly Ben Affelck who showed off his hairy yet buff chest in one scene where he changes. There’s also some debate about how serious he is when he says he’s been sober for 10 years, but that’s not my business. This is my business:

Ben Affleck 00 Out of the Bar None Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Ben Affleck Out of the Bar None

i put more shots of him on the top of the pile in my drawers.

A shout out is long overdue to Overdude Bryan Cranston who can go from the dad in Malcolm in the Middle to a meth manufacturer in Breaking Bad and kill both roles before doing a jig on their graves while he picks up his Emmy. His role in Argo is a little more traditional but he nails it like a frat guy with a case of Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

Bryan Cranston 00 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Breaking Badass

Bryan Cranston 01 in the Bar None Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Bryan Cranston in the Bar None

A Smoke

Drink: 2 Shots

2 shotsThere were a lot of scenes with booze but alcohol didn’t play a key part in the film so that boils down to 2 shots.

Here’s the blow by blow.

  • Wine in Canadian embassy hideout
  • Ben drinks Miller Lite at dinner with fast food
  • Whiskey at Hollywood restaurant
Argo Drink 01 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

“Here are shots of you drinking vodka with Tommy Lee Jones at Sundance, sober Ben Affleck.”

  • Red wine @ Hollywood rooftop party
  • Whiskey toast, “Argo fuck yourself”
Argo Drink 02 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

“To the Bar None. And formal track suits.”

We’re entering Iranian airspace and we’ll be coming through to collect any alcoholic beverages.

–Flight attendant on Tony Mendez’s (Ben Affleck) flight

  • Wine and whiskey and gin @ night before leaving party
  • Ben drinks shots of whiskey hotel room because he has to think

It is our pleasure to announce alcoholic beverages are now available as we have cleared Iranian airspace.

– Happy ending defined by booze

  • Champagne on the plane to celebrate

A Smoke

Rock & Roll: 4 Shots

4 shots 4 shots and worth every drop. First, there was the suspense which Ben tossed up here masterfully like a master tosser. OK, yes, he jumped the shark in that one scene in the airplane where he sees the cop cars next to the plane but he was doing such a god lob until then that you gotta cut him a slack–and one shot off.

Argo Rock 'n' Roll Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

That awkward moment you realize you aren’t looking in a mirror.

(BTW, for those intellectuals reading this post, both of you, the real story of the “Canadian Caper” can be found at these kick ass sites i bothered to look up for y’all. “A Classic Case of Deception” is the story as told by Antonio “Tony” Mendez himself on the CIA’s website. Nate Jones gives a nice, behind the scenes comparison of the movie to the real event in his article “The True Story Behind Argo” at ForeignPolicy.com.)

Then there was the music. Ben got lucky that the late 70′s was ripe with tuneage, but he also avoided the disco balls. It was an easy call but he made it and he included Led Zeppelin and it was “When the Levee Breaks”. What was the last movie you saw that had “When the Levee Breaks” in it? Exactly. 4 full shots, babes.

He also included Van Halen’s “Dance the Night Away” (which did come out in ’79, i checked) and this song by the Rolling Stones which isn’t bad for a Stones song but is no “When the Levee Breaks”.

[Press 'Play' for a Little T&A]

Boring Technical Crap

Written by:

Joshuah Bearman: article “Escape from Tehran”
Chris Terrio: screenplay

Directed by: Ben Affleck

Argo 07 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Gayfield Chess Club Class Reunion

Starring

Nancy Stelle – Swissair Flight Attendant
Amitis Frances Ariano – Persian Dancer
Clea DuVall – Cora Lijek
Kerry Bishé – Kathy Stafford
Sheila Vand – Sahar
Kelly Curran – Princess Aleppa
Allegra Carpenter – British Airways Flight Attendant
Annie Little – Swissair Gate Agent
Taylor Schilling – Christine Mendez
Ben Affleck – Tony Mendez
Bryan Cranston – Jack O’Donnell
Alan Arkin – Lester Siegel
John Goodman – John Chambers

Bottom Line

Repeat after me: “This is not an action movie.” Promise me you will see this movie but that you won’t be expecting an action movie, because then you’ll be disappointed. This is a a fucking awesome espionage movie with a lot of suspense and tension but no action. See it anyway.

Argo 06 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

“Is that your collar, Alan Arkin, or are you requesting clearance for take off?”

Haven’t Had Your Fill of the Booze Revooze? Click here for another round.

Al K Hall’s Drawers

Only meat and sweets after this point. i’ll start off the drawers with some Ben Affleck for the ladies so they can bail early if they want.

Ben Affleck

Ben Affleck 01 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Ben Affleck 02 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Ben Affleck 03 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Clea DuVall

Clea DuVall 01 see through Bar None Booze Revooze

Clea DuVall 02 side boob Bar None Booze Revooze

Clea DuVall 03 Bar None Booze Revooze Movie Review Argo

Clea DuVall 04 down blouse Bar None Booze Revooze Movie Review Argo

Clea DuVall 05 Bar None Booze Revooze Movie Review Argo

Clea DuVall 06 Bar None Booze Revooze Movie Review Argo

Clea DuVall 07 Bar None Booze Revooze Movie Review Argo

Clea DuVall Bar None Booze Revooze Movie Review Argo

Clea DuVall in the Bar None

Clea DuVall 09 in the Bar None Bar None Booze Revooze Movie Review Argo

Clea DuVall in the Bar None

Kerry Bishé

Kerry Bishé 01 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Kerry Bishé 02 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo bikini

Kerry Bishé 03 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Kerry Bishé 04 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Kerry Bishé 05 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Kerry Bishé 06 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Kerry Bishé 07 with some guy in the Bar None Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Kerry Bishé with some guy in the Bar None

Sheila Vand

Sheila Vand 01 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Sheila Vand 01 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Sheila Vand 03 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Sheila Vand 04 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Sheila Vand 05 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Taylor Schilling

Taylor Schilling 01 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Taylor Schilling 02 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Taylor Schilling 03 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Taylor Schilling 04 Assassin Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Taylor Schilling Assassin a Dress

Taylor Schilling 05 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Taylor Schilling 06 in the Bar None Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Taylor Schilling in the Bar None

Taylor Schilling in the Bar None

Taylor Schilling in the Bar None

Allegra Carpenter

Allegra Carpernter 01 nip slip Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Allegra Carpernter 02 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Allegra Carpernter 03 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Allegra Carpernter 04 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Allegra Carpernter 05 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Allegra Carpernter 06 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Allegra Carpernter 07 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Allegra Carpernter 08 Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Allegra Carpernter 09 in the Bar None Bar None Booze Revooze Argo

Allegra Carpernter in the Bar None

Haven’t Had Your Fill of the Booze Revooze? Click here for another round.

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7 thoughts on “Booze Revooze: ARGO

  1. Goddamit I keep hearing some great word of mouth for this thing, and I still can’t get the wife to go see it with me. Might have to… you know… go alone…

    It’s just a pity the women in this film don’t get undressed like your pictures might suggest, Al!! LOL!!!

    • It’s a good drama and the directing is solid. As for the ladies, i scored an interview with the prettiest. But that’s how i roll.

      Thanks for patronizing me, brother,

      Al K Hall

  2. Pingback: The Booze Talkin’: My Exclusive Interview With Nancy Stelle « The Bar None — High & Dry

  3. Pingback: The Booze Talkin’: My Exclusive Interview With Nancy Stelle « The Bar None — High & Dry

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  5. Pingback: » Movie Review – Argo Fernby Films

  6. Pingback: The Booze Talkin’: My Exclusive Interview with Amitis Frances Ariano « The Bar None — High & Dry

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