Booze Nooze: Bieber Has Pap Smeared

2013-01-21 Bieber Murderer bar none dregs booze revooze

From the juiced-box and dedicated to the Bieby: The Murder City Devils – Alcohol


[Press 'Play' for the "story about a sinner / He used to be a winner ... It turned him to the booze"]

January 2, 2013: You Better Belieb It

Remember how i’m a great investigative journalist? It’s OK if you forgot ’cause i’m gonna remind here with this shocking story that Justin Beiber killed a man. Not with his own bare hands, of course, the only thing Leave it to Bieber could kill is a buzz but he has enough cash to pay for the sins of all mankind so he for sure has enough to pay for the sin of murder.

Justin Cider bumped off the papparazzo who was following him the afternoon of January 1, 2013. Why? Because the pap smear wanted proof the little Beiby smoked weed? Are you kidding? Did you not know marijuana is now for all intensive purposes legal everywhere in the United States? Besides, Justinches clearly has a medical prescription for his stunted mental and physical growth. However, look at this picture more closely.

Justin Bieber Beerber bar none dregs booze nooze

Justin Beerber

You see that on the table in front of him? i fuckin’ hope so because i circled it in red and drew a giant arrow right at it for you. It’s a bottle of Corona Extra beer. This means that child starlette Justin Bieber had one of his marijuana thug friends whack the photographer to hide the terrible secret Bieber was willing to kill to keep: Justin Bieber broke the law by drinking underage.

You kinda heard it hear first except you read it.

Justin Bieber Drunk bar none dregs booze nooze

Bar None Artist’s Deception

Bar None Dregs

Nancy Stelle bar none booze nooze dregs

Nancy Stelle

A little shout out to the Bar None’s very own Nancy Stelle (and if i keep saying that long enough it may just come true). Her movie, Argo, won Best Picture and Best Director (for Ben Affleck) at this year’s Golden Globes and is Academy Award nominated for Best Motion Picture.

3,000,000

One more shout out, this time to all you Beer Maids and Barhounds. Sometime earlier this month (i was too busy being sober to notice exactly when), the Bar None crossed the line of 3,000,000 patronizers. Now that’s a lot of zeroes, and i appreciate you being one of them.

i opened the Bar None on July 19, 2009 and even in the drunkest of dreams i never could have imagined that only 3½ short years later i would be serving up this shit to over 3,000,000 drinkers, drunks, and alcoholics anonymous. i’m humbled and buzzing with gratitude.

Go here for a complete list of all my websites on one page so you don’t miss out on any of my shit.

All About Al K Hall

Didn’t get your fill of the dregs? i keep them on tap right here.

One thought on “Booze Nooze: Bieber Has Pap Smeared

  1. Pingback: Dregs of the Week: February – March 2013 (for starters) | The Bar None -- High & Dry

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