AlKHall-hics: A Glossary

A Photo Glossary of Expressions Used in My Posts

[Note: new definitions will be added regularly]

Glossary

A Smoke

Ass Vomit

Ass Vomit

Ass Vomit

Definition

Diarrhea; a great way of purging alcohol to lighten the load of a hangover; a better alternative to stomach sneezing (see ‘Stomach Sneezing’).

Uses

Noun: “i feel five times better and ten times lighter after that ass vomit.”

Verb: “Let’s eat at Taco Bell so i can ass vomit this hangover away later.”

A Smoke

Expresso

Expresso

Expresso

Definition

My ex-wife, because she’s tiny, dark and bitter.

Uses

Improper Noun: “Don’t answer that, babe. The ‘Crazy Bitch’ ringtone means it’s the Expresso.”

A Smoke

Miss Demeanor

Miss Demeanor

Miss Demeanor (aka, Miss D)

Definition

My live-in girlfriend.  The ‘heart’ to my ‘beat’, the ‘sweet’ to my ‘meat’. The coolest women i’ve ever met; understanding when she can be and drawing lines only long after she should have. She is one of the main things that keep this alcoholic functioning.

The nic comes from her being both so sweet and good-girl wild.

Uses

Proper Noun: “Shhh, don’t let Miss Demeanor find out she’s way too good for me.”

A Smoke

Stomach Sneeze

Stomach Sneeze

Stomach Sneeze

Definition

Puke, vomit, barf, boot, regurgitate, hurl, ralf, spew, heave, toss, blow chunks, upchuck, york, technicolor burp, technicolor yawn, call Ralph on big white phone, drive the porcelain bus, pray to the porcelain god…

Uses

Noun: “Dude! Check out this stomach sneeze! It looks just like a Seurat painting!”

Seurat: La Parade (detail)

Seurat: La Parade (detail)

Verb: “i can’t wait ’til the cops leave so i can stomach sneeze a baby’s weight in chunks.”

A Smoke

Silken Butterfly

Definition

Young, beautiful starlettes whose flitting appearances in Booze Revooze are as brief as they are beautiful.

Uses

Proper Noun: “Who was that Silken Butterfly in Inglorious Basterds? She was hot!”

Titty Blocking

Definition

The different ways in which a director hides an actress’s breasts from the audience. Some of the methods used are:

  • Hair Titty Blocking – When breasts are hidden by the actress’s hair
  • Partner Titty Blocking – When breasts are hidden by the actress’s sexual partner
  • Screen Titty Blocking – When breasts are cut off by putting them out of frame
  • Self Titty Blocking – When breasts are hidden by the actress’s own body parts
  • Sheet Titty Blocking – When breasts are hidden under the sheets of a bed
  • Vampire Titty Blocking – A form of “Partner Titty Blocking” specific to the Twilight series and other films of that ilk (see “Partner Titty Blocking”)

A Prime Example of Hair Titty Blocking

Uses

Improper Noun: “The Proposal uses some pretty creative forms of titty blocking.”

Inactive Verb: “You can tell how famous an actress is by how often they titty block her.”

Yeaman

Yeaman

Yeaman / Yeamen (pl.)

Definition

It’s common knowledge i live in Yeamen, a small country not found in the States. The inhabitants here are referred to Yeamen (‘Yeaman’ in the singular).

Uses

Noun: “He can’t come to the US because Yeamen are forbidden from leaving the country unless on the lam from the Man.”

A Smoke

Yeawoman

Yeawoman

Yeawoman / Yeawomen (pl.)

Definition

The female inhabitants of Yeamen.

Uses

Noun: “The encyclopedia says that Yeawomen are world renowned for having nice butts.”

14 thoughts on “AlKHall-hics: A Glossary

  1. “The ‘heart’ to my ‘beat’, the ’sweet’ to my ‘meat’. The coolest women i’ve ever met; understanding when she can be and drawing lines only long after she should have. She is one of the main things that keep this alcoholic functioning.

    The nic comes from her being both so sweet and good-girl wild.”

    *smiles warmly* I love this, Al. It made the sweet girl get a little teary and the wild girl think “Fuck yeah!” I think I could also be, in keeping with the theme to the blog, the tonic to your gin. Not that that’s your drink, but I liked thinking about being the tonic. LOL. The cure? The balm? Yeah, I hope so. The snakeoil? Okay, maybe that’s going too far, lol.

    Because there are days I worry about becoming Miss Felony Charges, heh, I had forgotten about how “demeanor” fits into the whole picture. I really like this so well. It’s more special than “Princess” or “Angel” in a lot of ways. There’s only been one Miss Demeanor in your life. (Heh! I sometimes morph into Miss Anthropic when it comes to other women, huh. But not so much that I don’t snap back to Miss Demeanor.) What a great nickname for me. :) Okay, I want the T-shirt now!

    I think you ought to come up with some def’s for the post-hangover blues and guilt. You focus on the physical effects here — how about the mental ones?

  2. Can’t help it — reflex we both have in common: “for having nice butt’s.” “Butts” is not possessive here, dear, although sometimes I can be! :p

    • Just so’s ya know, all the words are neologisms, created by yours truly. So there’s not much chance you would heard it before, but i’m counting o you to start the expression down under!

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  3. Yeah, I found this interesting too. Rodney and I will have to start the naming trend in Aus, although I can’t really condone drinking until your stomach sneezes, but if my film making proposal gets picked up then I’ll be able to slip some of the references in :)

    • Kubler, Brother!

      Welcome to The Bar None! Pull up a chair and make yourself at home. What can i get you to drink?

      You’re more than welcome to pinch what you like from the posts, but if you get a big deal with a major… you have to ask them to fly me to Oz and put me up for a day in a hotel and let me have a cameo in a bar…

      Deal?

      Thanks for patronizing me, brother. If you had fun, invite a friend!

      Al K Hall

  4. Pingback: Booze Revooze: A Drinker’s Skewed View of SAW 3D: THE FINAL CHAPTER « Diary-a of a Chronicle Drinker

  5. Jen!

    Interesting that you found your way over to The Bar None. Even my wife stopped showing up here because it got a little too raunchy for her here.

    i like coming here to unwind. It’s good for me to have a place where i don’t have to self censor and can be a little politically incorrect, but it’s not for everyone.

    If there’s any good writing here, it’s purely unintentional! i do try to exercise my creativity, however, and i’m a big believer in the curative powers of laughter.

    Thanks for patronizing me,

    Al K Hall

  6. I have coined a term which you are welcome to use, free of charge!

    “Shank” – verb. (-ing)
    As in: “Yesterday I caught John shanking in the bathroom.”

    Shanking is a combination of “shitting” and “wanking”, and is performed whilst sitting on the toilet.
    Shanking may come in handy when one has the need, but not the time, to both shit and wank individually.

    See: “Stress”

    • Dr Joe, the neologist!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your lovely invention with us. i promise i shall shank as often as possible and think of you every time i do.

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  7. Pingback: How Chris Brown’s violence can have an influence on our society and youth. « carterembree

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