Pour Man’s Cocktail Recipes: One-Eyed Wonder Worm FLYING Purple Popper Drinker

The juiced-box inspiration for the drink name:

[Press ‘Play’ if you give a Hits]

Ok, i’m a little too drunk to be posting but i can still type and later it’s only gonna get worse so i’m gonna get this out as best i can.

One-Eyed, Wonder Worm Flying Purple Popper Drinker [AKA Flying Purple Popper Drinker]

i know how religiously y’all have been following my Twitter Page, and when i say that i’m totally sarcastic from the heart. But for the one, maybe two, of you who’ve wondered what the ‘One-Eyed Wonder Worm Flying Purple Popper Drinker’ is, i’m here to share with you.

You’ve pro’lly guessed where i’m going with this and i won’t disappoint:

One-Eyed, Wonder Worm Flying Purple Popper Drinker [AKA Flying Purple Popper Drinker]

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One-Eyed, Wonder Worm Flying Purple Popper Drinker (Flying Purple Popper Drinker)

Recipe

  • Tall glass
  • 4 ice cubes
  • Cheap Ass Vodka
  • 1 Energy Shot
  • Grape Juice

Instructions

  1. Take tall glass firmly in your masturbation hand
  2. Add ice cubes
  3. Pour in as much Cheap Ass Vodka as you want [but if you fill it to the rim, there won’t be enough room for the other crap—i suggest a double shot]
  4. Add the Energy Shot
  5. Top off with grape juice

Effects

There are many reasons i’ve named the drink ‘Flying Purple Popper Drinker’. One is that you fly when your drink it. The second is that it’s purple. Another is that the Energy Shot (see photo) makes your face turn purple and gives you a head rush whenever you stand—like doing poppers. The other reason is you drink it.

What i’m saying here is that the Energy Shot will give you a rush so i suggest not drinking more than one of these a day. After the first, repeat recipe but drop the Energy Shot so you just get a Vodka-grape juice.

PS i’m adding this to the Drinks AlKHall-Bum

PPS Also mentioned in my Twitter page is the Screw Multivitamin so i’m adding that to my Al K Hall-Bum as well.

The Reasons i Drink #3: For My Health

Medicine Bottle

Medicine Bottle

[Sorry for the drawing, it’s homemade. i’m a writer, not a drawer.]

We’ve all heard the news that drinking is supposed to be ‘detrimental’ for your health. Right. i’ll give you the ‘mental’, but one of the reasons i drink is for the health benefits.

And that’s why we say ‘to your health’ when we toast.

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Extra added bonus!

i’m including–at no extra cost–a Pour Man’s Cocktail Recipe related to the subject.

My Fellow Alcoholics, i give you: MediSin (A Drug Cocktail)

MediSin (Cabinet)

MediSin (Cabinet)

Recipe:

  1. Put a cold capsule in the bottom of a tall glass
  2. Add ice and 3 fingers of vodka
  3. Fill glass with multivitamin juice
  4. Add a shot of cough medicine
  5. Top of with a throat lozenge and parecetemol
  6. Stir well and drink to the very bottom

Disclaimer: DO NOT TRY THIS COCKTAIL AT HOME! IT’S DANGEROUS! Only i, Al K Hall, can get away with it.

MediSin

MediSin

A Drug Cocktail

A Drug Cocktail

Pour Man’s Amaretto Sour

Pour Man's Amaretto Sour

Pour Man's Amaretto Sour

Ingredients

  • 2 shots Amaretto
  • 2 parts grapefruit juice (pink is best)
  • 1 part orange juice
  • Ice
  • 1 part 7-up (optional)
  • 1 teaspoon Maraschino cherry juice (optional)

Instructions

  1. Drop 3-4 ice cubes in the bottom of a scotch glass
  2. Add the double shot of Amaretto
  3. Then both the juices
  4. If you’re gonna splurge, now would be a good time to add the 7-up
  5. If you’re really splurging, throw in a spoonful of cherry juice
  6. Drink up

Notes

i found this recipe thanks to my mom, who was unable to find sweet & sour mix in the middle of a forest. It doesn’t taste anything like a real Amaretto Sour but it doesn’t taste bad either.

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Currently Drinking: About to finish the half bottle of Smirnoff Ice left over from last night. (i drank a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of tequila beer and half the Smirnoff Ice.)

66Hangover Forecast: Sun showers. i won’t be physically hungover but i’ll pro’lly be mentally hungover from last night’s binge.