Dedicated to all the wiz-tards:

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Harry Potted in Hogfarts

Magic Potion

And just like that i was proven wrong once again.  ‘Member those Harry Potter movies back from when you were a kid? Remember how i said they sucked? Well, they still do. But remember how i said Daniel Radical-if was a closet alcoholic? Yeah, i was right about that, too.

In fact, turns out i was proven right once again. Looks like Daniel Radical was doing more in the closet than we thought because he had something to drink in addition to something to swallow.

Radical-if he was telling the truth spills the news about the booze when he talks about the period he was drinking nightly. As in every night. Damn good thing i waited until today to become super famous and not when i was 22 because i wouldn’t have just got drunk every night, i’d have dipped my magic wand in every hairy pot i could find, locking myself deep at the bottom of her chamber of secrets and guzzling fire water from the goblet until i wound up in a deathly shallow grave.

That Radical drank a lot doesn’t freak me out, in fact i admire his candor about his drinking, like when he says,

I can honestly say I never drank at work on ‘Harry Potter’. I went into work still drunk, but I never drank at work.

Nah, what really surprised me was when he went,

I can point to many scenes where I’m just gone. Dead behind the eyes.

This is really fucking impressive because he fucking acts dead behind the eyes all the time, so if he can tell when he was sober and when he was drunk on set…just wow.

Just like german beer, he gets a little darker, too.

 I loved the fact I suddenly could talk to people and feel so entertaining and so interesting. But after a while, you’re living under such a cloud of shame about what you’ve done and the dread of who you might see, what you might have said to them, what you might have done with them.

Welcome to the club, Daniel. If you want, we got our own little Hogwarts going on here that we like to call the Bar None and you don’t need an invitation from an owl to join. i’m not saying we can get you off the booze, i’m just saying it’s a cool place to hang out while you figure out what to do next.

Plus we got lots of jokes.

"I've seen Her 'miney'; can I see yours?"