High Guys!

It’s I, Dr High the Science Guy, your Functional Alcoholic Slurpreson here to demonstrate how science can make alcoholism function for you.

First Up: How To Open a Bottle of Wine With Your Shoe

The video’s in French but i’ll break it down for you.

1) Hold the wine bottle in one hand and the shoe in the other.

2) Stick the wine bottle in the shoe.

3) Bang the wine bottle in the shoe against the wall repeatedly.

4) The more you bang the bottle against the wall, the more the cork will come out of the bottle.

5) Keep banging the bottle against the wall until...

6) ...enough of the cork is sticking out of the bottle...

7) ...to pull out by hand.

8) Voila!

Second Up: How To Open a Padlock With A Beer Can

This video’s in a living language so i don’t need to sell it out step by step for y’all.

Third Up: The Beer-Me Robot

Thanks to my bud In The Same Boat for posting this in the comments section to this blog entry. You gotta see it to believe it, a robotic beer bitch. Finally geeks have spent gajillions of dollars on something we actually need.

Fourth Up: The Same Thing From Intel

A special shout out to my Facebook friend Liam Irvine for posting this to my wall!

i dunno, the other one looks a little more practical to me. Click on the photo to read the article, but there’s not a lot about booze in the text. The other robot seems to be more single minded in it’s beer fetching task…

Had enough of intellectual pursuits? It’s still not too late to…

FREE LINDSAY!!!