Tag Archives: Rihanna mp3

Dregs of the Summer: The Week of July & August, 2012 (and then some)

Rihanna Dregs 2012-09-02 Collage Wallpaper

Rihanna Dregs Collage Wallpaper – Click on the Shot for the Wallpaper

Dregs wait for no time, not even summer time, and here’s a mess o’ proof of that right here. We got Rihanna partying harder than her body, Adele living larger than hers, and Kristen Stewart hanging looser than hers. There’s a drunk Bigfoot, how to get rich tips and the Sunny Iranians (or was it the Shite ones?) discover a cure for hangovers.

Rihanna will drink to that: Rihanna – Cheers (Drink To That)


[Press 'Play' to "Turn it around with another round"]

Commoner Dregs

2012/08/28: Sasquatch Me Now

Bigfoot Six Pack Coors

Another Bigfoot Sighting

Another Bigfoot Sighting

Ah, Montana, where the men are men and Bigfoot wasn’t dead…until last Tuesday. This guy, Randy (and aren’t we all after a few drinks), dressed up in a camouflage suit and ran around on the highway at night to start a Bigfoot sighting hoax. Unfortunately, Bigfoot is not as likeable as Randy may have thought because he was run over. Twice. First by a 15-year-old girl, then a 17-year-old girl.

While we could spend all night debating the possible merits of running around the freeway at night drunk and wearing camouflage, i suspect there was another reason Randy met his Makers Mark. You’ll notice both girls who ran over him were in their teens. Well, i’ve always raised my teenage daughter with the education that, when in the company of men, if she sees something she doesn’t recognize she should run it over–twice. Randy was running around erect and hairy, after all.

2012/06/25: Iranians Find Cure for Hangovers

There were these two guys in Iran-so-far-away who kept getting drunk all the time so the religious government (God is my “vice” president) decided to step in and help eliminate those annoying hangovers once and for all by killing the drunkards. And it wasn’t easy. The first two times the govern-mentals tried whipping the alkies into shape but when that didn’t take, they decided to hang them dry. Talk about drinking yourself to death.

bottle alcohol noose execution

Hang ‘Em By The Neck Until They’re Cold

2012/08/30: Let Them Drink Cake

You know how all the world’s Australians are super nice and super helpful? Well, the world’s richest woman is no exception. Because she likes those of us here in the Bar None so much, she’s decided to share some of her get rich quick tips with us so we, too, can have more money than we know how to count.

There is no monopoly on becoming a millionaire. If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain. Do something to make more money yourself – spend less time drinking, or smoking and socializing and more time working.

Hmm. Wise words indeed. She tells us what not to do, but not exactly what to do. Unless you read between the lines because what’s she’s really saying is, “Let them eat cake.”

Gina Rinehart Let Them Eat Cake

Gina Rinehart

Celebrity Dregs

Adele Smoking in the Bar None

Adele Smoking in the Bar None – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

2012/06/20: She’s Adele of a Drinker

You know how Adele is pregnant and you don’t care? Here’s something a little more up our collective alley (and i’ll stay out of yours if you stay out of mine), she’s an alkie wanna-be. Alcoholism: Many are chosen but few are called. While she may sing like an angel, she drinks like a fish, which makes me think her album 21 Proof was not written about some guy, but her heartbreaking love affair with the bottle. This explains the secret behind songs like “Someone Likes Booze”, “Get Higher In The Rain”, or “Our Rum Has It”.

Makes me wonder what she was really Rolling in the Deep.

Adele in the Bar None

Adele: Two Fisted Drinker in the Bar None

2012/08/31: Cheers (Drunk To That)

Rihanna Drunk 01 in the Bar None

Rihanna in the Bar None

Times change. People change. It is with great somnolence that i strip Lindsay Lohan of the Bad Habit of Bar Nun so that i can crown a new Patronizing Sainte.

Sure, Lindsay had a couple DUI’s but i think we all knew deep down that while she may have given her liver to booze, her heart belonged to coke. Which is why i’m glad to announce that Rihanna is now the Bar None’s Bar Nun.

Not only did Jay Z, a man who stabbed a rival in the stomach at a bar, tell her she should go to rehab for alcohol but every time she goes to a new territory she has to mark it getting shit faced in it.

Most recently she went to a London club called the Rose Club (who are still wishing they’d thought of the name “Bar None”), where she got drunk on champagne and cocktails, then jumped on the table, broke it, and started to get thrown out until her friends yelled at the bouncers that they were up chucking THE Rihanna.

The Bar Nun is infallible like the Pope, which got proved when the bouncers put her down and apologized and the bar owner sent free drinks—and a new table—over to the table.

She left at 4am. To go to another party. Respect.

Rihanna Dregs 2012-09-02 Drunk Collage Wallpaper

Rihanna’s Bar None Collage – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

Tons more shots of Rihanna after the link that says “Continue reading” at the bottom of this post.

2012/07/27 The Real Reason Kristen Stewart Cheated With Rupert Sanders

Kristen Stewart & Rupert Sanders in the Bar None

Kristen Stewart & Rupert Sanders in the Bar None

Kristen Stewart & Rupert Sanders in the Bar None

Kristen Stewart & Rupert Sanders in the Bar None

Kristen Stewart

“Are you sure you’re really a movie director?”

Bar None Dregs

The Juiced Box

Just to let you know that i’ve put together a playlist of songs on the Juiced-box here in the Bar None.

Also, Saint Pauly posted a pretty funny review of The Resident over at WTF!? (Watch the Film).

The Resident 01 poster

Go here for a complete list of all my websites on one page so you don’t miss out on any of my shit.

All About Al K Hall

Al K Hall’s Drawers

Follow the “Continue Reading” link to enter the drawers.

Continue reading

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Commoner Dregs of the Week: October 14 – 30, 2011 (and lots more)

Click on the Shot for the Wallpaper

As soon as i start climbing out, they start piling more dregs on top of me. Included in these dregs i’m trying to sift through are naked drunk drivers, a Brit stuck in a toilet seat, a Limey who ran himself over, a female ball biter, the Pabst Blue Ribbon Belly, the hypocritical politician (OK, the drunken hypocritical politician–OK, the arrested drunken hypocritical politician), the guy who missed the girl on girl action at Oktoberfest and should’ve come here instead of what he did and way more than a human being could ever shake their limp stick at. Fuck it and drink to it.

From the juiced-box and someone else who will drink to that: Rihanna – Cheers (Drink To That)


[Press 'Play' to drink with Rihanna]

Commoner Dregs

October 13: Real Friends Make Bomb Threats

i kicked off this post with some belated Oktoberfest festivities in honor of Daniel Ford Artley. You know how i know this guy’s a loser? He called the Snowbird Ski Lodge and told them a Pakistani colleague who didn’t like Americans had planted a bomb there and it was set to go off in 15 minutes. Authorities evacuated the Oktoberfest celebration and there was no bomb but at least Danny Boy was idiot enough to call from his own house so his home number showed up on caller ID when he made the threat.

He told arresting officers that he made the call because a friend of his had gone to the Oktoberfest party and Fartley thought the threat might mean the friend would have to come home early and they could hang out.

In the intro i posted the pretty side of Oktoberfest, but Daniel missed out on more than just drunken hot girls kissing each other all the time. He also missed out on this, the ugly side of Oktoberfest.

October 5: The Ride of Her Life

His

i  wanna eat at Luigi’s in Farmington, Michigan. Apparently Luigi’s is called a family restaurant because the food is so good it makes people want to start a family. Or maybe sleep with people from their family, i’m not sure, because Tim Adams who’s only like 54 was pulled naked from a Buick Regal that was all steamed up and rockin’ because he was rocking it with Rita Daniels, 71. The Regal was in Luigi’s parking lot, near the front door and i’m so jealous, not because John can leave a grandma with that kind of sweaty glow, but because he was charged with indecent exposure (sure) but also disorderly intoxication and in my 30 years of drinking, i was never accused of that. OK, legally.

Hers

October 24: He Has a Gut of Gold

For those of you out there who still believe women are interested in you for more than your liquor or your money, check this out. The Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer heir (yes, the King of the whole Trailer Park) has a beer belly but his girlfriend has 6-pack abs.

Bucks and booze be all the babes believe in.

October 5: Feeling Run Down

You’ve been tired, sure, but have you ever been “tired“? Next time you wake up from a nap still feeling a little run down, check your back for tire tracks because maybe you were. Like maybe you were so drunk driving that you ran yourself over. What, it could happen.

It did in England, to Andrew Haimes (47). He was found by police sleeping under his car after he got drunk and got out of the van, left it in gear, passed out in front of it, and it ran him over. First off, Haimless, thanks for making everyone in the Bar None look like rocket scientists. Second, no offense, brother, but if the van rolled over your balls and popped them like grapes then you wouldn’t be able to pass your dirty, old genes onto future drinkers. Just sayin’.

Just One More, For The Road

October 11: He Shouldn’ta Shot His Mouth Off

Curry Todd is the name of a chicken, but not a chicken meal. This official Tennessee redneck is the one who fought for your right to take your gun into a bar. Left on his own he probably would have also advocated tuna dinners in the home for blind lesbians and porcupine pocket pets, but he was stopped on his way to the top for drunk driving.

Dude was pulled over late at night and failed a road sobriety test with the honorable mention from the cops that Todd was “almost falling down at times”. Todd refused a breathalyzer, which was probably his only good idea of the night because the cops also said Curry was “obviously very impaired and not in any condition to be carrying a loaded handgun.”

Because, oh, yeah, he wasn’t the only thing loaded. There was 38 tucked between the seat and the console.

Speaking of good ideas, here’s something up Curry’s alley.

Or this…

October 18: Turd Gets Stuck in Toilet Seat

If your drinking game doesn’t end with someone stuck in a toilet seat, you’re playing it wrong. Or you’re not English.

This 26 year old bloke from Tudhoe (which is just code for “Turdhole”) was with friends playing “Can You Fit This Over Your Head?”  i’m sure the first thing they tried was his buddy’s ass but because they’re English that would not have been a problem to slip on and off, so the next thing they tried was a toilet seat. This, being narrower than an English man’s ass, got stuck on the guy’s body and after 2 hours of writhing (where he probably didn’t get much drinking done) he waddled to the fire department where they had to cut the seat off of him. i’m sure he was flushed.

We Got a Safer Toilet Drinking Game in the Bar None

October #: She’s Got Big Balls. No, Really.

Here’s what happens when tea bags go horribly, horribly wrong.

In a drunken brawl, Maria Georgina Topp took her boyfriend’s nutsack in her mouth, bit down and ripped that bag of tender jewels clean off. This may very well be the only time you hear me say that spitting is preferable to swallowing because the guy was able to get his balls sewed back on with 19 stitches. Topp says she was too drunk to say she remembered what happened but her attorney’s are saying the man was on Topp, straddling her when the incident occurred. Hurl Grey, anyone?

Bar None's Artist Hallucination of What That Looked Like

Bitch is just lucky her boyfriend wasn’t Wesley Warren Jr. This poor bastich has two big problems and by “big” i mean 50 pounds each. Wes has scrotal elephantiasis so he has 100-pound balls. i’d like to see Maria Georgina Topp try to gnaw those things off. Hell, ol’ Wes’d probably thank her and give her a tip.

Bar None Dregs

Kicking things off here, i wanna thank John D from Crawley for become a subscribing patronizer of the Bar None. God Bless You and Give You Money, John, and may your time here be well wasted.

If you, too, would like to see your name up in lights, or like this, alls you gotta do is click on the “subscribe” button at the top of the column over there.

The Bar None

While i’m throwing up the thanks, i’d like to give a shout out to Bukowski’s Basement, Andrea, Ingar, Raquel, and, as usual, The Rod for “Liking” The Bar None. What’s a good bar without a handful of regulars?

And just because they were there first, they got to see tons of fun stuff, like my new bad habit, Drunk & Demotivated. Exclusive to the Bar None. And here. And a lot of other places maybe.

Al K Hall-is Anonymous

Lest we forget. As raunchy as i get here, i do have a softer side to my recovery (y’all do remember i haven’t had a drop to drink since January 2011, right?). If you’re interested in my journey through recovery with more friends and more support and fewer boobs, check out Al K Hall-ic Anonymous.

To tie this one off for the night, i’m going to post the Celeb Dregs pro’lly tomorrow or the day after. Will you be here?

Didn’t get your fill of the dregs? i keep them on tap right here.


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