Just because i missed out on Saint Patrick’s Day with y’all yesterday doesn’t mean i have to forget all about it this year. Every day is Saint Patrick’s if your Irish. Or drunk. Hell, i’m neither and i’m still continuing the Saint Patrick’s Day specials through to today in the Bar None. Let’s kick things off by kicking out the jams from the juiced box.
[Press 'Play' for some true Irish music.]
Saint Patrick's Went to the Dogs this Year
Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper
Here are the drawer shots of the boys and the girls, for the boys and the girls.
From the juiced-box and the recipe for a St Patrick’s Day: The Pogues – Beer Beer Beer
[Press 'Play' for Póg Mo Thóin, or Kiss My Ass]
Kiss It, I'm Irish
‘S Ain’t Patrick’s
Guess what and i’m gonna tell you anyway so you don’t have to. i never liked Saint Patrick’s Day. i know i’m s’posed to and everything because i’m all alcoholic and as the Temporal Functional Alcoholics Slurperson my official slightly askance stance is i’m leaning towards it.
Still, it always scared me to death. First off, there’s this whole “It’s the best party day of the year” insanity or the “Oktoberfest for spud lovers” mentality illness that gets your hopes so high that whatever happens tastes more like New Year’s Eve let down and green hot dogs on their way back up than anything approaching fun.
Second off, who the fuck’s idea was it to make St Patrick’s Day the 17th of March? Seriously, this means that only once every decade will St Patties fall on a Friday night. Partying on a fun day is mathematically eliminated. The other nine years in a row, and don’t ask me how this happens ’cause you know how much i don’t get about math, Saint Patrick’s falls on Tuesday. Or, like this year, Thursday. And sometimes Monday but never on Funday which means work with a hangover. If you ask me and you really should because i know tons of shit, Saint Patrick’s Day should be like Easter and always on a Sunday with a day off after. Yeah, if i were drinKing, that’s the way it would be.
So this year, i boycotted Saint Pat’rick’s Night and Day and went to AA instead. Didn’t drink anything green but i had a good laugh with cool people, some of whom were Irish from Ireland Irish, and today i felt good enough to write. Plus i got to look up hot pictures of Lassies, and i’m not talking about dogs, Bitches.
[Beware Pronsurfers! Sorry about titling my 1st installment "XXX-Mas Vacation". i see that about 40 people came here from a Google search of "XXX" and boy, they must've been let down in more ways than one. Hence, i've changed the title to "XX-Mas", after Dos Equis beer. My most sincere apologies to those amongst you i misled. As you were.]
From the Juiced-box and for this holiday season: The Pogues – Fairytale of New York
[Press 'Play' for "You're a bum, you're a punk / You're an old slut on junk / Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed / You scumbag you maggot / You cheap lousy faggot / Happy christmas, your arse, I pray god it's our last."]
Nothing new or real or excitingly different. Just to point out that i’ve remained hangover free for the four mornings since i arrived, but this’ll make more sense when you see the quantities i didn’t drink.
Day 2
Me, Jazzman and Mingus (names i’ll be using for my kids [boy 16, girl 13, respectively]) along with Old Grandad and Sea-Grams all went to a nice Mexican place. How do i know it was nice? It had a waterfall in the lobby and was so big Jazzman got lost coming back from the buffet (and no, for you South Park fans, it was not a Casa Bonita). They had a killer all you can eat messican buffet and i had a frozen margarita to start off and then a Corono in a frosted mug with the meal. Too bad i forgot my camera, just like i forgot it at dinner that night when we had huge steaks on the grill and i had two glasses of wine.
Total Dammage
1 frozen margarita
1 Corona
2 glasses of red wine
Beerection
Day 3
Totally uneventful as far as drinking goes. Five beers and no stories.
