Help Wanted

Self Unemployed

Self Unemployed

i’m thinking about a career change…

My ideal job has flexible hours; waking up when i want, taking a nap if the mood strikes me, finishing when i feel like it… i won’t even have to shower or shave. Or wash my clothes.

My new career involves an office outdoors with a nice view of the street. Or a park. Or the underside of a bridge.

i’ll work exclusively for tips but i won’t have to serve people. Passersby would just give me money for no damn reason.

Even better, i’ll have 365 days a year of vacation! And i’ll be my own boss.

While no experience is necessary, i have years of on (and off) the job training so i’m more than qualified. The real perk of the position, though, is that not only is drinking on the job authorized, it’s required!
Yeah, i’m gonna change jobs.

Help wanted.


Currently Drinking: Water, though i had four glasses of table red at lunch:

Table Red

Hangover Forecast: Hot i sweated out all the alcohol i drank earlier in the day…