Who Is He?
No idea. Never heard of Burn Notice or JD before i found this on TMZ.
On July 12, 2009, Miami Beach Police pulled Jeffrey Donovan over for suspicion after his car screeched to avoid a police cruiser stopped at a red light. At least Jeff had a good defense: “Sorry, I didn’t see the red light or your stopped car.”
i hope y’all are taking notes because everything he said leading up to the arrest is exactly what SHOULD NOT BE SAID when pulled over for a suspected DWI.
After that, the officer smells a strong odor of alcohol so he asks JD if he’s had anything to drink. JD admits to having three drinks at a place so chic i don’t even know what the f*ck it means: the Fontainebleau. Thinking about “I had three drinks at the Fontainebleau”, makes me realize the whole urban myth of sucking pennies to reduce your blood/alcohol level (which doesn’t work, btw) was invented to keep drunks’ mouths shut (which does work).
Donovan then flunked a field sobriety test and was taken into custody. That’s when he said, “The only mistake I made tonight was drinking Benadryl with 3 glasses of wine.”
Add this to the list of things not to say.
Why He Deserves a Mug Shot:
Despite all the bonehead quotes, the real reason he deserves a mention on this post was this:
Just after he was arrested for DUI, he said this to defend himself,
“I really think I’m only borderline and not too drunk.”
This sentence, and more specifically the word ‘borderline’, has become my new ‘get out of jail free card’ (even if it didn’t work for JD).
From now on, i only BORDERLINE suck when people let me know how they feel about my social ineptness. My misunderstood comments on friends’ blogs are all of a sudden BORDERLINE idiotic. i’m not an alcoholic, i’m BORDERLINE alcoholic. i’m not poor, stupid or ignorant, i’m BORDERLINE all these things. BORDERLINE pathetic, BORDERLINE ridiculous, BORDERLINE ugly, BORDERLINE bald, BORDERLINE talentless, BORDERLINE useless and my BORDERLINE unloveable BORDERLINE ass should be BORDERLINE smacked until i BORDERLINE die of BORDERLINE shame.
Thank you, Goddess, for giving me Jeffrey Donovan and the perfect escape clause.
Currently Drinking: After the 6 pack of 6% beer and the bottle of white, i’m now finishing up the fifth of tequila beer.
Hangover Forecast: Stormy… Did you not read the Currently Drinking comment!?