Great people reside inside me. Too many of them.
i’m trying to drown them all.
There’s the nobel prize winning author who’s sold more books than the bible and has been translated into languages that don’t even exist yet.
There’s the romantic in gleaming armor who makes the Angels swoon and leaves broken hearted damsels weeping on their knees along the path he has passed.
There’s the grinning little buck toothed boy with apple pie-in-the-sky eyes who’s so sincere terrorists drop their weapons before him and immediately commence loving their neighbors.
Then there is the creative dad, the carefree lad, the helpful soul, the joyous fool, the intellectual who knows too much and the rebel, sensitive yet tough. The world’s best lover, your favorite brother, the pony prancer and prayer answerer, the happy one and the good son all rolled into one.
So many people so very different with only one thing in common: they are not me.
They are who i could be, my possibilities–me, potentially.
The problem is, i could never live up to them, let alone their potential. Trying would be a fool’s quest that would finish with me worse off than i’d been before.
The happy news is i’ve found a way to quench their constant cries for freedom, to quell their endless up-risings, to appease their petty pleas for release. i drown them, drown them in alcohol.
They never really die, of course, but at least their ceaseless efforts to claw their ways out subside in the tide of the liquor.
That’s why i drink. Respite from the distraction of the better me i could be and the failure awaiting me should i try.
Currently Drinking: Smirnoff Ice. It’s cold, only 5% alcohol and helps take the edge off the hangover.
Hangover Forecast: Light showers. Today’s physical hangover will have passed by tomorrow but i’ll have to deal with the residual blues i always get after a binge.