It’s Official: Functional Alcoholics Spokesperson (FASe)

Putting the 'Functional' back in 'Alcoholism'

Al K Hall: Putting the 'Functional' back in front of 'Alcoholism'

Let me be the FASe of our generation.

It’s official…

i, Al K Hall, am hereby throwing up my hat into the ring and nominating myself as Can-idate for the International Functional Alcoholics Slurperson!

This here’s one seat that’s been left vacant far too damn long. i googled ‘Functional Alcoholic Spokesperson’ and discovered the position doesn’t even exist! How can that be!? Alcoholics Anonymous has Anonymous ones, Mothers Against Drunk Drivers has Mad ones and the Bureau of Alcohol, Firearms & Tobacco has, uhm, well, other ones. So who’s standing up for us? Who’s got our backs?

i do, dammit, and i’m willing to put my glass where my mouth is.

Besides, no one but me has assumed the position.

A SmokeCurrently Drinking: Had a bottle of wine after work, now i’m on water.

60Hangover Forecast: Mostly sunny. i’m swigging water now and it’s only 9:30pm. Tomorrow, without trouble, i should be good to go.

One thought on “It’s Official: Functional Alcoholics Spokesperson (FASe)

  1. This was posted by Miss Demeanor under her real life name and e-mail. Yeah, like she wants everyone knowing who she lives with! So i’m reposting it in its entirety, anonymously, to protect the innocent (her) and the rest…

    Submitted on 2009/07/29 at 8:20am

    Dry Lake
    Crash Landing
    Fuzzy Logic
    Living Dead
    Free Gift
    Numb Sensation
    Stand Down
    Metal Woods (Golfers)
    Detailed Summary
    Jumbo Shrimp, followed by Vegetarian Meatballs, and for desert, Grape Nuts.

    (from here:


    I think you get my drift…….

    Ummm yeah, I appreciate the functioning part to no end. In all seriousness, if you were any *less* functioning, it would be too hard, you know? But thank god you are as functioning as you are.

    That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

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