Booze Nooze: World’s Oldest Woman Dies

Gertrude Baines Booze Nooze

A Smoke

She Never Did Drink

She Never Did Drink

Just to make sure we’re all on the same page…

  • Gertrude Baines lived to be 115 years old.
  • She never drank.
  • Not drinking may be part of the problem.


If you stop drinking and fooling around, you may live to 115 years old. You will have no fun, wear diapers and your grandchildren will have to wipe your ass for you!

Let us remember her lesson so that Gertrude Baines did not die in vain: Drink fast, die young and leave a fun riddled corpse every time.