Booze Nooze: World’s Oldest Woman Dies

Gertrude Baines Booze Nooze

A Smoke

She Never Did Drink

She Never Did Drink

Just to make sure we’re all on the same page…

  • Gertrude Baines lived to be 115 years old.
  • She never drank.
  • Not drinking may be part of the problem.

WARNING TO ALL DRINKERS:

If you stop drinking and fooling around, you may live to 115 years old. You will have no fun, wear diapers and your grandchildren will have to wipe your ass for you!

Let us remember her lesson so that Gertrude Baines did not die in vain: Drink fast, die young and leave a fun riddled corpse every time.

2 thoughts on “Booze Nooze: World’s Oldest Woman Dies

  1. I disagree. Getting a young person to wipe your ass for you is the ultimate revenge on the ungrateful little bastards! Have a damned drink and a smoke while they do it! LIVE long and terrorize the damned young!

    • Good point, sir!

      In fact, thinking about it, having a young person (not related to you) wipe your ass can be quite a bit of fun. Not to mention the sponge baths.

      Live Long & Prostitute!

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