Mug Shot of the Week: Pissed Hoff

(Note to all you Yanks: ”Pissed’ in the title is used in the British sense, meaning ‘drunk’.)

Pissed Hoff

Pissed Hoff

Minor news from a major drinker. Just to keep you up to date on the Bar None’s Patron Diety, both TMZ and D-Listed reported that David Hasselhoff’s 17-year-old daughter Hayley (Hayley Hasselhoff!? yeah, like he wasn’t drunk when he named her) called her mom (Hoff’s ex) and said Dad was drunk again. Paramedics came and whisked the Hoff away in the cherry-topped chariot.

Hoff’s ‘people’ claim that it wasn’t anything like that. Stroking Hoff apparently mixed pills for an ear infection (Antivert) and pills to get on the wagon (Antabuse). He got super dizzy, couldn’t get a hold of his doctor and the paramedics magically came (‘magically’ because they don’t say who called the EMTs). That’s what his ‘people’ say, anyway.

The Hoff has ‘people’. i’d like to have ‘people’. Your ‘people’ are the ones that make up tons of excuses for you while you suffer through the hangover in peace. i need to get me some ‘people’. i think i’ve got some ‘peeps’, but that doesn’t count ’cause they care about you and let you know when you’re a screw up. i guess the difference between ‘people’ and ‘peeps’ is that you pay ‘people’. Yeah, i really gotta go out and buy me some people.

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