Welcome Ken!

door mat - VIP Loungei’d like to roll out the welcome mat for my brother from another club: Ken. We’ve been connected for a while now in a less seedy place down the street and i can’t tell you how nice it is to catch him slumming it here. Thanks for patronizing the Bar None, my brother! Pull up a stool, make yourself at home and next time bring a friend.

Booze Revooze: A Drinker’s Skewed Review of The Informant!

The Informant!

[Click here for a guide to Booze Revooze and the rating system used]

Ramblings: I’m Telling

Final Proof: 2 Shots

2 shotsYou know how when you’re sitting at the bar and you spot a ‘character’? A character, you know, someone who’s not so much drunk as engaging. Weird. Quirky. You’re a little bored so you kinda watch the guy out of your peripheral vision, right? Get an idea of what he’s like, what goes on in his peripheral little life. Except you’re not gonna watch him for two hours, ’cause that’d make you weird.

The Informant! is like that. The movie is an interesting character study of a funny guy and it had my attention for a while, especially because Matt Damon does such a great job in the role of Mark Whitacre. But asking me to watch this guy for 108 minutes is a little much. If i’d been in a bar, i woulda moved on to someone else, certainly someone hotter, rather than become a peripheral stalker.

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 0 Shots

Nothing going here, if it isn’t Melanie Lynskey. ‘Member her? She plays Rose in Two and a Half Men. i like her ’cause she has that little baby voice. Of course, i also like women with raspy voices. And deep voices. In fact, i even like women with adenoidal voices. i guess i like women’s voices in general. Course, i also like women when they’re not talking. Uhm, let’s just forget i started in on this, ok?

Actually, Melanie’s a lot cuter than you might think. She’s definitely a lot cuter than she was made up to be in this movie. Here’s what i’m talking about.

Melanie Lynskey

Close Up & Friendly

Close Up & Friendly

Rockin' A Tat

Rockin' That Tat

A Smoke

Drinks: 0 Shots

Nada. Matt Damon has a meeting at the Anheuser Busch headquarters in St Louis. Oh yeah, in a private jet he drinks a beer from a bottle while his boss makes sexist remarks sipping a whiskey and water.

A Smoke

Rock & Roll: 0 Shots

One word for you: Marvin Hamlisch. Google him and count the number of heavy metal albums he’s made. (Although, Wiki claims that Jerry Falwell refused to rule out the possibility that Hamlisch was the Antichrist in an interview with Al Franken. That’s kinda rock and roll. Not enough for a shot, though.)

Boring Technical Crap

Written by: Scott Z Burns (based on the book by Kurt Eichenwald)

Directed by: Stephen Soderbergh

Starring

Matt Damon – Mark Whitacre

Melanie Lynskey – Ginger Whitacre

Bottom Line

Don’t see it, but if you must, then walk out after about 45 minutes–you’ll have seen all there is to see.