Mug Shot of the Week: More Pissed Hoff

Hoff Mug ShotFrom the Juice-box, in honor of The Man

[Press ‘Play’ to be serenaded as you peruse.]

(Just a reminder for my friends from America: ‘Pissed’ in the title refers to the common British slang usage, meaning ‘drunk’.)

Falling Hoff The Wagon

[From The Sun UK]

David Hasselhoff has earned once again (as if that were necessary, or possible) the title: Patron Deity of The Bar None.

He went to London for Simon Cowell’s birthday party and ended up in hospital rehab. Yeah, like that’s never happened to you.

Hasseled Hoff

Hasseled Hoff

The b-day bash began a two-day bender that left the Hoff more bent than ever. He became belligerent in his 5-star hotel bar, berating staff and belittling onlookers, before the binge broke him in a bad way. Strokin’-hoff then pee’d the bed so badly that both mattresses had to be changed and that’s about when Whacked-Hoff ‘s assistant freaked and called for medical backup.

Beaten-Hoff took this the wrong way, and as Governor of the State of Inebriation he was in a capital mood to punish his babysitter. Unfortunately, his punch went wide and connected with the doctor. The doctor then called in hotel help, who hassled the Hoff into the basement where they kept him under lock and key until the ambulance arrived.

Nodding-Hoff was whisked to the 5-Star Capio Nightingale Hospital where it took him two days to dry out. The guests there proceeded to bow down in much deserved praise. “He was recognised immediately. Everyone was thrilled The Hoff had arrived and wanted to meet him,” one punch drunk patient is on record as saying.

Hell, if you can hang with the Hoff, you ain’t human.

All Hail the Hoff!

5 thoughts on “Mug Shot of the Week: More Pissed Hoff

  1. Back in 1985, I had disposible cash and a love for kitsch (how apropriate that it is a german word). I purchased The Hoff’s debut release Night Rocker in hopes that like others before him (Rick Springfield) he had hidden talents (cuz acting wasn’t one of them). I gave it a fair listen (meaning I turned the cassette over for side two), but honestly thought the songs were standard “vehicle” fare and his voice just didn’t hold up. To make matters worse, on two tracks he did a duet with his then wife, soap star Dietra Hall, who could actually sing and the comparison made one wonder why we weren’t listening to an album of hers instead

    I tried going to Amazon for a link, but the site had no album cover and two “glowing” reviews (maybe I should dig around and see if I still have this and give it another listen or even download from the link provided). Somehow he is a superstar in Germany (where the rest of his albums were released) and I wonder if it is tongue in cheek that he was picked to judge America’s Got Talent, I mean, how would he know?

  2. i love that you own a copy of “Night Rocker” and i bow before your extensive music knowledge. i don’t think i’d be willing to sacrifice my ears by listening to the Hoff for the sake of music.

    Speaking of, i gave Wilco’s “A Ghost Is Born” a chance and found it a little uneven. The instrumentals weren’t, if you see what i mean. Next on my list to sample is the latest, self-titled cd.

    Hey, you can’ say i’m not trying to serve here in The Bar None.

    • yeah, that’s kinda their style. there are a few artist who, if they weren’t so cool, would suck. Personally I don’t like Wilco, but they hang out with atists I do like.

    • i saw this! Too bad we don’t get A&E in Yeman… Hopefully i’ll be able to find it online. i’d hate to think i was missing out on all this bar fodder.

      Al K Hall

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