Booze Revooze: A Drinker’s Skewed View of The Proposal

Sandra Bullock On Her Knees

Sandra Bullock On Her Knees

[Click here for a guide to Booze Revooze and the rating system used]

Gabe Dixon Band’s “Find My Way” is from the soundtrack and on the Juice-box:

[Just press ‘Play’.]

Ramblings: The Proposal? Just Say ‘No’

Final Proof: ½ Shot

1-2 shotYou know that one sober simp who only knows one joke and tells it, always badly, repeatedly and the only reason you invite him along to the bar is so you can make fun of him? That’s why i see romantic comedies. So i can sit here in the Bar None and tear them a new one. Sure, it’s easy but us drunks find fun wherever we can, right?

Like that stupid joke your stupid designated driver tells over and over again, i knew exactly where the story was going and just what the punch line was. i got it, but it didn’t make me smile.

As for The Proposal, the only original thing about it was–just kidding, there was nothing even remotely related to ‘new’ here. Not even as distantly related as Ben Affleck is to Obama. Nope, not even that distant.

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 1½ Shots

1 & 1-2 shotAlicia Hunt Where Are You?

This is an open call for Alicia Hunt, who portrayed Gillian (credited as ‘Coffee Barista’), the Starbuck’s counter babe. You’re as cute as all get out but i couldn’t find any photos of you! Think of the free pub-licity! Alicia, if you’re out there and reading this, would you please send some shots my way? If you do, you wouldn’t be the first celebrity to stop by

Apart from Ms Hunt’s stellar appearance in The Propsal, we get Sandra Bullock. She’s the reason i gave the flick half a shot overall, because she’s pleasant to look at and has a good sense of comedic timing. But especially because she’s pleasant to look at:

Sandra Bullock

Sandra Bullock

Sandra Bullock

Acting Badly As A Drunk In "28 Days"

Acting Badly As A Drunk In "28 Days"

Remember last time how i was telling you about Titty Blocking (when an actress is topless but the director hides her boobs through different miss-directing techniques)? There’s a long sequence in The Proposal with Sandra Bullock aprés shower. At first it’s hair Titty Blocking (she walks out of the shower with her hair glued to her boobs) which is an underused approach, in my opinion, so it was nice to see it here. ‘Course it woulda been nicer to have no TB at all, but it’s Sandra Bullock we’re talking about here and you can rub your magic lamp for all you’re worth and that fantasy still ain’t gonna come true. After that, there’s a switch to the more traditional hand/arm on chest block, which is less effective for us viewers. Still, if you look really hard, there’s a ¾s glimpse of Bullock’s butt in a mirror behind her and i’m here to tell you, Sandra’s in great shape for a 45-year-old.

The other hottie in the movie was Malin Akerman (AKA Laurie Jupiter / Silk Spectre II in The Watchmen):

Malin Akerman

Malin Akerman

Malin Akerman

Malin Akerman

A Smoke

Drink: 0 Shots

You get to see Malin Akerman sip a beer twice and the first time she doesn’t even swallow. This is not a joke.

Some random woman is holding a bottle of beer while she tucks money into “Ramone’s” belt during a strip tease to Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s “Relax”.

A Smoke

Rock & Roll: ½ Shot

1-2 shot

Did you not just read that the movie has a chubby dude stripping to “Relax”?

Theoretically, the movie has “Cult of Personality” somewhere in it, but i just saw the movie and had to find this out on the web. That should tell you prominent it was.

It is prominent in the Juice-box, however:

[Press ‘Play’ to get your Rock off.]

The song that introduces this blog and the film, Gabe Dixon Band’s “Find My Way”, isn’t too bad. Maybe a little too poppy but it’s got a good beat and you can’t dance to it, so something went right with it.

Boring Technical Crap

Written by: Pete Chiarelli

Directed by: Anne Fletcher

Starring

Sandra Bullock – Margaret Tate

Ryan Reynolds – Andrew Paxton

Malin Akerman – Gertrude

Alicia Hunt (where are you!) – Gillian the Coffee Barista

Bottom Line

Run away, run awaaaay!