A Humble Mini-Post For No One But Me

It’s now 1:30am and i’ve drunk more than i should’ve but that’s what i do.

This is a simple post to say today i broke 1000 drinks (page views) in the Bar None.

As your tender Bartender, as your Functional Alcoholic Slurperson for the D-Generation (Drink Generation), as the founding member and president of D.R.I.N.K.E.R. (Drunks Really Involved, Now Known as Exiles Reunited), as the creator of DAMM (Drunks Against Mad Mothers) i heartily shake the hand of every man who has passed through my door and give a real hug (no patting, no bending at the waist) to every woman who has graced my homely home away from home.

This round’s on me.

Thank you all for Patronizing me and the Bar None. If you had fun, next time invite a friend.

i Got Your BAC: Blood Alcohol Content For Dummies (Part 1)

Just Put It To Your Lips and Blow It

Just Put It To Your Lips and Blow

From the Juice-box: Designated Drinker

[Press ‘Play’ to play]

In my continuing effort to serve you as the FASe of the D-Generation (Drinking-Generation), i humbly present the following public disservice:

i Got Your BAC: Blood Alcohol Content For Dummies

BAC & How It Works

Blood Alcohol Content means the amount of alcohol that is in your blood. It’s tested with a breathalyzer, which is a device that looks like a juice box with a straw you blow into rather than suck out of.

See, what happens when you drink is the ‘happy cells’ in the booze don’t get digested but instead do their happy dance in your blood. Their light little fingers trickle along your ivory veins and play every organ in your body. When they float through your lungs, part of them evaporate inside little lung baggies doctors like to call alveoli because it makes them feel smarter than you. When you breathe, the happy cells that went from your blood into your lungs come out of your mouth in alveolar air. Breathalyzers count the number of happy cells in your breath and guess if you’re drunk or not.

How to fail a breathalyzer:

Click On Image To Launch Video

Click On Image To Launch Video

The Other Posts

i Got Your BAC: Blood Alcohol Content for Dummies (Part 2)

i Got Your BAC: Blood Alcohol Content for Dummies (Part 3)