i Am A Dip (SO Maniac!)

A Dead Little Penguin

From the Juice-box, Tom Waits – Bad Liver And A Broken Heart (in Lowell):

[Press ‘Play’ to Play]


Part of my job as FASe of the Drinking Generation is to occasionally don a professor’s robes.

The lecture today is on Dipsomania (for which i researched Wkiki extensively).

A long time ago, ‘dipsomania‘ was used to mean normal alcoholism. It’s not used much anymore because people prefer words that are easier to type. Especially while drinking.

Still, ‘dipsomania‘ now can refer to “describe a particular condition of periodic, compulsive bouts of alcohol intake.

i think you see where i’m going’ with this. What intellectuals call dipsomania, you and i call binge drinking. Which makes me a dipsomaniac.

The questions now before the Bar are: What (if any) are the differences between Binge Drinking and Chronic Alcoholism? Can Binge Drinkers become Moderate Drinkers?

Stay tuned while we explore these and other, less obtuse and more fun, issues.

Class dismissed.


Tom Waits – Bad Liver and a Broken Heart

Well, I got a bad liver and a broken heart

Yeah, I drunk me a river since you tore me apart

And I don’t have a drinking problem, except when I can’t get a drink

And I wish you’d a known her, we were quite a pair

She was sharp as a razor and soft as a prayer

So welcome to the continuing saga

She was my better half and I was just a dog

And so here I am slumped, I’ve been chipped

I’ve been chumped on my stool

So buy this fool some spirits and libations

It’s these railroad station bars

And all these conductors and the porters

And I’m all out of quarters

And this epitaph is the aftermath

Yeah, I choose my path, hey, come on, Kath

He’s a lawyer, he ain’t the one for ya

No, the moon ain’t romantic, it’s intimidating as hell

And some guy’s trying to sell me a watch

And so I’ll meet you at the

Bottom of a bottle of bargain Scotch

I got me a bottle and a dream

It’s so maudlin it seems

You can name your poison

Go on ahead and make some noise

I ain’t sentimental, this ain’t a purchase

It’s a rental and it’s purgatory

And hey, what’s your story, well, I don’t even care

‘Cause I got my own double-cross to bear

And I’ll see your Red Label, and I’ll raise you one more

And you can pour me a cab, I just can’t drink no more

‘Cause it don’t douse the flames that are started by dames

It ain’t like asbestos, it don’t do nothing but rest us assured

And substantiate the rumors that you’ve heard

5 thoughts on “i Am A Dip (SO Maniac!)

  1. Alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs out there. I think that’s because it is legal. There

    are millions of people that are affected by it, thousands of which die. I was an alcoholic for

    14 years and I thought there was no way out. There is a way out! I came to Narconon Arrowhead and they showed me the way out.

    • Dear Slava,

      Let me begin by welcoming you to the Bar None. You were almost bounced at the door as your comment was flagged as spam, but i fished it out of the trash can.

      Thanks for taking the time to post and to share your experiences. i’m very curious about the 14 years of addiction you went through and how you were able to find your way out. Your story could prove interesting to many of my readers and i’d love for you to share if you feel comfortable.

      As for “Narconon Arrowhead”… i suspect your message was flagged as spam because of the link to the rehab facility. i’m giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are, indeed, a real person and not an institution faking humanity in order to score a few extra bucks. We here at the Bar None hate that. Please feel free to share your personal story, but the tender bartender becomes less so when people come in putting up propaganda posters.

      To get an idea of how i feel about this practice, please check out this brochure: My Drunk Blogging Anti-Institution Rant.

      While i consider any organization that requires payment for salvation a sect, i fully support Alcoholics Anonymous as i truly believe they are in it for the individuals and not the cash. A drink to my friends in AA…

      Thank you once more for patronizing me. If you had fun, invite a friend.

      Al K Hall
      FASe of the D-Generation

  2. I’d like to know Slava’s story, too.

    “It ain’t like asbestos, it don’t do nothing but rest us assured

    And substantiate the rumors that you’ve heard”

    LOL. Love that Tom is now Totally T (tea? I like that Ken drinks tea, too. I am trying to drown myself in Rooibos each day as I am not even partaking of Joe these days. As in Java Joe. Don’t worry, dear. You are the only dipsomaniac for me). I wish I knew more about his story, too.

    I know I don’t have a lot of the answers to a lot of the questions you are asking. I know that they are the kinds of questions that are best discovered by and for oneself, that the answers only come with work by and for oneself. I also know this, I want to be with you to figure it out, to help you figure it out so that you have IT by the reigns instead of vice versa. I hate to see any human being that is controlled so much by people or by things that their freedom and happiness is at stake, yanno? It’s kind of like you are a nation under a not-very-nice dictatorship. Yeah, the dictator may have been a pretty helpful leader at one time, and brought the nation some benefits at the beginning, but something has turned, freedom is now at risk, and it’s time to find a new government.

    LOL. I keep thinking things like “YEAH-MEN IS UNDER SEIGE” whilst “The Piano Has Been Drinking” is going thru my head, too. Pardon the use of “whilst” there. It just sounded right…

    Here’s a great vid of that:
    What I think might be an audience-enhancing laugh-track background is both annoying and funny. Ohhh there is an interview, too!! It’s so……. late 70s early 80s, lol.

  3. Smoking on TV! Waits Live! And drinking!!!!!

    “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.” What a great Spoonerism!

    What an excellent video, thanks so much for posting.


Leave us some tips!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s