The Reasons i Drink #4: Vacation In A Bottle


Al K Hall Bottled Up

My Ticket To Ride

From the Bar None juiced-box:

[Press ‘Play’ to take off]

Here’s Really Why i Drink

People take vacations to get away from it all.

They spend thousands of dollars to stress themselves out with packing the bags, remembering the tickets, wondering how they’ll get to the airport, if they’ll get there on time, if there bags aren’t too heavy and they’ll have to pay an extra charge. They wait in lines to stand in line at check-in counters / security posts / boarding gates and they fly to a place that’s overpriced and the weather is iffy and the food isn’t good and they get all kinds of runs and come back home so sick and tired of being away from it all that they look forward to working for another five years just to save up enough for the next get-away-from-it-all trip.

D.R.I.N.K.E.R.s and members of the D-Generation, for 6 bucks you can drink a bottle of wine that’ll give you all the escape without any of the hassle. You can fly anytime you want and you’ll never leave the ground. You can completely forget about your bank miscount and the kids’ grades and the chores left half-undone. A one-way ‘trip’ is as far as the fridge or nearest 7-11. Even better, the mental break is cheaper and more relaxing than a ‘real’ family vacation.

You don’t even need to be good at math to figure that one out.

A Smoke

Here are the Kid Rock lyrics:

Kid Rock – Wasting Time

I’m a pimp, you can check my stats
And rollin’ a Fleetwood that’s how I mack
I rock all the tracks, so the world knows
I love all the girls smack all the hoes
Show love to those who come real with it
Life’s a bitch but I deal with it
I’m in it to win it like Yzerman
Can drink about 15 Heinekins
I’m not born again but if I was
I’d ask to come back with a little more love
Puffin’ a Winston, drinkin’ a 4-0
Kid Rock and I’m a let you know

I’ve been sitting here just wastin’ time drinking, smoking, thinking, trying to free
my mind
I’ve been Sitting here just wastin’ time drinking, smoking, trying to free my mind

It’s been a couple of months in this smoky room
Eatin’ shrooms, drinking Boone’s
Writin’ tunes and hoping to get
One of these motherfucking songs to hit
A little bit of love that’s all I need
A little inspiration and a bag of weed
A seed to plant so my tree can grow
You know I left my girl cause I don’t need that–
hold up wait a minute I’m about to flow
Like a breeze through the trees you can watch me blow
Puffin’ a Winston, drinkin’ a 4-0
Kid Rock and I’m a let you know

I’ve been Sitting here just wastin’ time drinking, smoking, thinking, trying to free
my mind
I’ve been sitting here just wastin’ time drinking, smoking, trying to free my mind
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Free my mind… Ooohhh yeah

I ain’t no rough guy, ain’t no tough guy
Don’t get out much, and don’t dress up fly
A pawn in the game that’s all I am
Givin’ all my duckets to Uncle Sam fuck it
I’m free to do what I please little lady
I was born at night but not last night baby
I’ve been around, seen some things
I’ve slept in dumpsters, got high with kings
I don’t bring much, ain’t got a lot to say
But I got more time then Morris Day
Puffin’ a Winston, drinkin’ a four-oh
Kid Rock and I’m a let you know

I’ve been sitting here just wastin’ time drinking, smoking, thinking, trying to free my mind

I been Sitting here just wastin’ time drinking, smoking, trying to free my mind

I’ve been sitting here just wastin’ time drinking, smoking, thinking, trying to free my mind

Tryin’ to free my mind

I’ve been Sitting here just wastin’ time drinking, smoking, trying to free my mind
iv’e been sitting here….smokin…drinkin’…tryin’ to free my mind
I’ve been sitting here just wastin’ time…drinking, smoking, trying to free my mind


13 thoughts on “The Reasons i Drink #4: Vacation In A Bottle

  1. Yes but flying to Yeman to drink means vacation PLUS alcohol. Double yay. You just gotta do it right. (that’s what SHE said.. ba-dum-bump.)

    • Hell, flying to Yemen means partying with *me*. It’s like a great vacation, but a great vacation in Hell (lol)! Still, everyone should drink with the Devil at least once in their livers.

      Al K Hall

  2. I can’t afford those kinds of vacations anymore, lol.

    I’m beginning to feel like that towel in the hotel room: the soggy one with the puke in it, the one on the bathroom floor the day after, the one that no one wants to look at or deal with.

    But there I sit, that puked-on bathroom towel, the one that is not going to be at any more parties because she’s been used up.

    I guess I have tried to take the towel, rinse out the puke, and throw it in the washing machine, but it is still stained, and instead of being used as one of the “nice towels” anymore, it is in the rag bag. Useful, but no longer sexy –not in that “put that towel out for the party!” kind of way.

    It’s really tough when the one you love, the one with whom you would like to take a vacation wants to go one place, and you have been permanently denied access to the country he wants to travel to.

    It’s like watching everyone else take trips and you are condemned to staying home, watching TV, by yourself.

    It’s lonely. Yes, I choose it (to no longer go on the vacation), but no, I also don’t. Part of it has chosen me, too. It’s just what I have to do, I feel. The other option is to, literally, die.

    It’s hard to be the one who can no longer find the humor and fun in tying one on. At all. And feeling like you are more of the M in MILF than the F. And feeling like you are the wet, puked on towel, dampening and stinking up everyone else’s fun.

    I drank with the Devil for nine months. What it did was led me to some fucked up (literally) shit, and a deathwish. So, sorry to cloud up and stink up the party again, but I am like that ghost of a person who is the reminder of what can and does go wrong, and I have to keep talking about it here. Because there are just some things I can’t laugh at, you know?

    So. I have gone from cute party chick to depressed party pooper. Since I am outnumbered, I guess it means I am the one that has to leave the party.

    I hope y’all have fun without me.

    But, I guess at least there will be me, the towel, ready to wipe up your mess because she will be the only one not hungover and capable of doing so. Ba-dum-bump.

  3. Hang on, hang on. Nobody lose his or her panties about this. Don’t panic.

    Oh, my own personal anger about my personal circumstances in life is spilling over, isn’t it.

    I think this came out a lot more personally towards the two of you that I EVER intended.

    Don’t get me wrong.

    I *do* feel like the wet, pukey towel, dampening everyone’s fun.
    I do feel like the M in MILF.
    I do feel like I am prohibited from the Vacation Lands in part by my choice but also because of circumstances I did not ask for and that are out of my control. I feel like to be Totally (or mostly) T *became* my choice because of things and circumstances out of my control…

    Some of this also goes back to the post about the Filter song a couple of posts back and my comments there. Some of this goes back to the post on October 25, which you will notice I never did comment on because I was too pissed off to ever do so.

    It sucks hard and long to have to be the one that is left out.

    The one that is left out because if she eats and drinks what other people do, she gets bedridden with fatigue and swollen glands and feeling like shit. As I have said to Al, I feel like I get the hangover without ever having the party.

    The one that is left out because she does not drink anymore because if she does she feels like she is risking suicide. Heck, even a sip of milk can make her feel this way. But booze has added depressant “benefits” and even if it did not kill me through a physical reaction to it, then the susceptibility I feel I am under with it puts me in a place where I feel like I want to kill myself.

    I know that Al is like our Mr. Morrison, our Rock Star that wants to party ’til he drops and who will party with whomever he can and whenever he can. He wants his vacation with the beaches, booze and babes.

    Thing is, I just cannot go there. I cannot take a vacation there anymore. It’s not a vacation for me, it is a nightmare.

    And so I feel sad and angry, too. I feel like the Mom on this blog who puts the damper on things. The wet blanket — the wet, pukey towel — who is honest to say that even Al K Hall tongue-in-cheek posts feel like a slap, a reminder of the things I cannot do anymore.

    It’s just so depressing. But then so am I of late. I think that’s what a lot of this is.

    I love you both to death, I really do, but to have a repeat of what went down that night in October, except thinking about it happening with you two instead is just too much to think about.

    It’s just hard to have everyone talking about how fun a place like Hawaii is and I know I will never, ever go back there. I remember the good things about Hawaii, too. Knowing I will never see it again with friends I love so much is just putting the cherry on the strawberry shitcake. It’s too hard to think about, yanno?

    I hope that ‘splains a little bit about my mindset and where it is at. I am a lot less angry than I appear to be in the words in the first comment, but yeah, I am still angry. Angry at trying to find a place for myself as one who is sober in a household where a premium value is placed on vacations in bottles.

    And this anger mostly because I feel like I have lost some of the fun in life and I don’t know where to find it anymore. Life has lost some of its color, and I resent that in my life some of the places in finding it, in food and in drink, are so not available to me right now.

  4. A little more.

    Honest? A lot of it is that I miss it. A lot. And I am jealous of the people who still can have those kinds of vacations in their lives.

  5. Hey am from Hong Kong. stumbled in Bar None long time ago, reading reviews for mission impossible ghost protocol. your site is listed in imbd. You have a very special brand of wit so i got hooked and keep reading your posts. i reached here. 🙂 to put on record, being witty is not difficult, the difficulty is not being empty witty. like your wit is not empty. there is profound messages behind.

    What take me o post

  6. What inspires me to reply is the concept of getting drunk as vacation. Many friends got wasted weekly basis. After they got drunk, they cried uncontrollably, repeatedly repeated heart broken stories, behavioured very badly , got in one night stand… Pre mature aging and lost their figures long term. it pulzzed me long and hard why they do such a thing to themselves? any vacation doesn’t worth such a steep price.

  7. I must admit i afford to take such moral highland because alcohol is never friendly to me. i drank very sporadically in my early 20s.a glass of Cocktail. coz they looked nice with fancy names. Reading the ingredients also made me felt super intelligence and at home (bookworm). I never enjoyed high or relaxation….only sweat, feverish body, sleepy, dizzy, hangover whole day… very uncomfortable. I knew if i let myself go and kept drinking, i might get drunk and experience the good sides of booze maybe maybe. i just don.t see any point to go there do that.
    SSo i guess D

  8. So i guess while i wish my friends to stop the excessive drinking, i am totally not persuasive. instead, they wish to persuade me to start drinking.Ha i know the analogy is quite irrevlant and far fetched, but i think it is like communist counties trying to convert a capitalist country.

  9. To steer back :), i am the real luggaged-traveller. 🙂 i want to shout that alcohol does not offer anything long term. Better be sober up to face and then solve problems. I don.t know you, but Hell i am not that s To steer back :), i am the real luggaged-traveller. 🙂 i want to shout that alcohol does not offer anything long term. Better be sober up to face and then solve problems. I don.t know you, but Hell i am not that smart to start with and to face life with only half (or none) of my mental faculty because of constant hangover is simply unthinkable.
    I have taken long long space here….i guess it us becoz these things i had said over and over…. To steer back :), i am the real luggaged-traveller. 🙂 i want to shout that alcohol does not offer anything long term. Better be sober up to face and then solve problems. I don.t know you, but Hell i am not that smart to start with and to face life with only half (or none) of my mental faculty because of constant hangover is simply unthinkable!
    I have taken long long space here….i guess it us becoz these things i had said over and over…. mart to start with and to face life with only half (or none) of my mental faculty because of constant hangover is simply unthinkable.
    I have taken long long space here….i guess it us becoz these things i had said over and over….

    • Anna!

      Thanks for taking the time to leave such a thorough and well thought out reply.

      The short answer to your comment is that i agree with you. Alcohol is only a short term vacation and the price you pay to take it is often not worth the ‘pleasure’ you don’t really get when you’re on it.

      That’s why i quit drinking a year ago and have started a sister blog to this one about recovery. Check it out!

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

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