The New Beaujolais Is Here! The New Beaujolais Is Here! i’m SOMEBODY…

(First one to guess the reference in the title gets a drink on the house.)

Y’all have probably figured out by now that i’m this great con-a-sewer of everything alcohol. i’m here today to give you my official, Bar None evaluation of this year’s New Beaujolais French wine.

  1. i smelled the bottle cap. It stunk of plastic.
  2. i stuck my nose in the glass and sniffed. It smelled like wine.
  3. i swirled the wine around the glass. It looked like wine.
  4. i sloshed the wine in my mouth and swallowed. It tasted like wine and made my teeth red.

The official Functional Alcoholic Slurperson’s verdict? It was wine.

Apparently, however, the big deal is that it was new wine. Ooohh-la-la! Think about it, have you ever seen a bottle of old wine? Jesus, old wine in my apartment is wine that’s lasted 2 hours after i’ve brought it home.

‘Cause i know how much you care, here’s a picture of my first glass at the 11am coffee break where my clients drank hot chocolate and tea. It’s off my cell phone so don’t expect too much.

The Second Glass Is The Bartender's Who Drank With Me

All’s i’m saying is, anytime the world celebrates alcohol is a great excuse to party…