10 Things To Say While Getting Another Drink (A Top Ten Lips)

A Top Ten Lips

More tips and changes from your Functional Alcoholic Slurperson (FASe). You know how you’ve put back a couple and are ready for the next one but everybody starts giving you dirty looks as soon as you make a step towards the fridge? What follows are ten comments you can make to diffuse the moment and get off scotch free…


From the juiced-box: Chris Norman – Just Another Drink

1. “My ice cubes are lonely.”

2. “There are sober children in Africa.”

3. “That beer isn’t gonna drink itself.”

4. “This’ll give me something to talk about at AA.”

Paris Hilton Drunk & Slipping

5. “Because doggie bottles don’t exist.”

i’ll Take One To Go

6. “I’m the kinda guy who’ll take one for the team.”

7. “i used to be an alcoholic but my tolerance went up.”

Non-Dairy Breakfast Whiskey!?

8. “Friends don’t let friends drink alone.”

9. “What would The Hoff do in this situation?”

The Bar None’s Patron Deity

10. “Is it sober in here, or is it just me?”

Are you looking for phrases to turn down a drink? i got your BAC…

[i got other Top 10 Lips coming out my ass right here]