10 Things To Say While Getting Another Drink (A Top Ten Lips)

A Top Ten Lips

More tips and changes from your Functional Alcoholic Slurperson (FASe). You know how you’ve put back a couple and are ready for the next one but everybody starts giving you dirty looks as soon as you make a step towards the fridge? What follows are ten comments you can make to diffuse the moment and get off scotch free…

From the juiced-box: Chris Norman – Just Another Drink

1. “My ice cubes are lonely.”

2. “There are sober children in Africa.”

3. “That beer isn’t gonna drink itself.”

4. “This’ll give me something to talk about at AA.”

Paris Hilton Drunk & Slipping

5. “Because doggie bottles don’t exist.”

i’ll Take One To Go

6. “I’m the kinda guy who’ll take one for the team.”

7. “i used to be an alcoholic but my tolerance went up.”

Non-Dairy Breakfast Whiskey!?

8. “Friends don’t let friends drink alone.”

9. “What would The Hoff do in this situation?”

The Bar None’s Patron Deity

10. “Is it sober in here, or is it just me?”

Are you looking for phrases to turn down a drink? i got your BAC…

[i got other Top 10 Lips coming out my ass right here]

2 thoughts on “10 Things To Say While Getting Another Drink (A Top Ten Lips)

  1. Oh dearest!!! I live this lips, but ‘member, when you do the top 10, you have to do it from 10 to 1, you know, saving the best for last! 10…9…8…7… etc. That last photo cracks me up! Pretty sad, though, too, heh. Also, we are never moving to Japan, hahaha. OMG, I can just imagine you and Japanese alcohol vending machines. Gah! That would be insane.

    Hmmmmm. You know, if I had a more creative brain, I could come up with a top 10 lips of things to say when NOT getting another drink, the list for what to say when you are the Almost T with a bunch of drinkers. Hmmmm. I need some help with that one. Wanna help me out? Then I could be a guest poster with the list. I want to do that when NaNo is over.

    • Babe!!! i love how you “live the lips”. Hot.

      Technically, you’ll notice i never use the term Top Ten List anywhere… i was always bummed when Letterman’s last item wasn’t the funniest simply because it had been built up so much by being saved for last that i didn’t want to make his mistake. Which one was the funniest for you? You seemed to like the picture i saved for last best, so i’m curious.

      i’d love to help you with your list (‘cept you gotta choose the order). It’ll be fun (and interesting) to have you posting here and maybe it’ll encourage more people to step up to the bar. You know how intimidating i can be…


      Al K Hall

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