Booze Revooze: A Drinker’s Skewed View of WHIP IT

[Click here for a guide to Booze Revooze and the rating system used]

From the juiced-box and the soundtrack: Tilly And The Wall – Pot Kettle Black

[Press ‘Play’ To Get Your Rock Off]

Ramblings: Whip It, Good

Final Proof: 3½ Shots

You know how you get drunk with a bunch of cool girls? They hang out in a group and some are cuter than others and they’re less clean than they are cut and sure they talk too loud but they’re rolling the good times and smoking hot. You drink them in and catch one of those forever buzzes you know will never fade until too soon. Because there’s no way you’re ever gonna get any, the pressure’s off  so you can just sit back in the good times and let yourself be carried along by their wave while you catch yourself smiling, practically joking, and you can’t even blame it all on the booze. As young as the night, they’re independent like the rock they play nonstop from the juice box and sometimes they try too hard but that’s part of their charm. They don’t swear right, dance badly, and can’t pull off a fist pump but that’s what gives them the luster of Suicide little girls. They’re careless but not because they couldn’t care less, they’re just living for the moment and they want you to come along for the ride. If you’re ever lucky enough to get swept along by a bunch of girls like this, hold your breath and keep your eyes wide shut so you don’t wake up from their dream. Whip It is kind of like that.

Drew Barrymore has concocted a finely brewed movie. Like an indie John Hughes flick (though this isn’t as alternative as it tries to be—let’s call it No Alternative), Whip It is a coming of age movie for the grrrls of today. Strong female roles give the movie the kick of a Mike’s Hard Lemonade six pack drunk straight from the bottle. [A special shout out to Miss Demeanor for her insightful comments about John Hughes.]

Shauna Cross--The Real Life Maggie Mayhem-- Author Of "Derby Girl" And "Whip It"

No, it’s not a perfect movie. Like i just said, it tries too hard to be Juno on keg beer and the soundtrack is just a little too perfect to be anything but market studied. And some of the lines fall as flat as one of those English beers they drink warm for no apparent reason other than to show off how odd they are.

But these little flies in the punch bowl don’t get in the way of a good time. The roller derby names alone are enough reason to see the film. (Bliss Cavendar’s derby name is Babe Ruthless and she skates for a team called The Hurl Scouts. Other skaters are known as Jackie Daniels, Iron Maven, Bloody Holly, Rosa Sparks, Smashley Simpson, Juana Beat’n and Jaba the Slut.) Yeah, the whole Roller Derby thing really worked for me.

Whip It will treat you like good beer: not a lot of sustenance but it’ll get you where you wanna go.

Before things heat up, i gotta card Eulala Scheel who’s only 11. She plays Bliss’s sister, Shania, and is Marcia Gay Harden’s daughter both in the film and real life.

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 3 Shots

i’m being a little generous here because the only sex seen [sick] is in a pool between Bliss ‘Babe Ruthless’ Cavendar (Ellen Page) and her indie rock boyfriend, Oliver (played by real life indie coffee shop troubadour Landon Pigg). Even there, the only sex that’s seen is Ellen Page undressing to her bra and panties underwater.

Still, there’s enough talent in this movie that y’all are gonna hafta sit back and enjoy the ride ’cause i got a pack of sexy to deal with.

Let’s get this derby rolling with Drew Barrymore. Whip It is her first movie as director and she also gave herself a supporting role as Smashley Simpson.

Apparently Drew And Ellen Became Friends

Close Friends

Very Close Friends

Apart from the bra and panties in the pool, we also get Ellen Page (22, playing a 17-year-old) undressing to her bra on the street to switch t-shirts with her boyfriend. Plus, if Ellen Page isn’t  just as cute as the dickens i don’t know who is— i wanted to reach out and pinch her little cheeks, especially because she spends most of the movie in shorts.

Ellen Page In The Bar None

Alia Shawkat (20) plays Pash, Bliss’ best friend. There’s a scene of them sleeping in the same bed which gets up my nose because Ellen Page is sleeping with her bra beneath PJ’s and y’all know how that gets my Grey Goose.

Love Those Freckles

Brooke Cavendar, Bliss’ mom, is portrayed by Marcia Gay Harden who looks great at 50.

As for the skaters, Juliette Lewis (36) is Iron Maven. Juliette Lewis is the coolest with no qualifiers because that would diminish her coolness. She. Is. The. Coolest. Apart from Miss Demeanor, obviously, who is the coolest Ever.

Juliette Lewis Rockin' Out

Juliette Lewis REALLY Rockin' Out

Juliette Lewis Slippin' Out

Juliette Lewis Coppin' A Feel From Cate Blanchett

The rest of the skaters…

Rachel Bockheim (31) appears in the movie as Jackie Daniels. She’s also a real life skater for the Grand Raggidy Roller Girls in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and was a technical advisor for the flick.

Rachel Bockheim / Jackie Daniels

Kristen Wiig (36) is Maggie Mayhem:

Ari Graynor (26) as Eva Destruction:

Eve (31) as Rosa Sparks:

And Zoe Bell (31—the Kiwi stuntwoman Tarantino used in Death Proof) as Bloody Holly:

Zoe Bell At The Bar None

And, just in case one or two riot grrls stumbled in here, i’m offering up Andrew Wilson (45) who plays the coach, Razor:

and Landon Pigg (26) who plays the love interest:

A Smoke

Drink: 2 Shots

Nothing spectacular but everything looks better after the Twilight 2: New Moon debacle.

At least in Whip It there’s pitchers of beer being heavily consumed at an after-derby party and one of the skaters in a keg stand (when two people help balance a third doing a headstand on a keg while a fourth partier opens the tap into their mouth–invented by college students who simultaneously reasoned this position would help alcohol reach the brain faster and frightened me for the future of every ‘civilized’ nation).

There’s also Pash, who’s underage, drinking after a game and who chucks her beer as a cop approaches. She gets busted for drinking, a ‘minor’ offense. Earlier, Pash gets so drunk at another party that she has to stop making out with a guy in the shower so Bliss can encourage her to barf by telling her to imagine her parents having sex, down to her dad’s jiggling ball sack.

Oh yeah, also Bliss catches her dad drinking beer and watching a football game in a van. She asks for a beer, he refuses but tells her she can have a sip of his. She distracts him and chugs the beer in under a minute, belching loudly as she clears out.

That, and the Hurl Scouts spend a lot of downtime hanging out in a bar.

A Smoke

Rock & Roll: 2½ Shots

i already bitched a couple times about how i found this a little too contrived and not enough rock, so i’ll shut up about that.

There is another song i’d like to share with ya’ll, though:

[Press ‘Play’ for Peaches – Boys Wanna Be Her]

Here’s the track listing:

1. Tilly and the Wall – Pot Kettle Black
2. The Ramones – Sheena Is a Punk Rocker
3. Cut Chemist, Hymnal – What’s the Attitude
4. The Breeders – Bang on
5. The Raveonettes – Dead Sound
6. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah – Blue Turning Grey
7. Jens Lekman – Your Arms Around Me
8. Gotye – Learnalilgivinanlovin
9. Peaches – Boys Wanna Be Her
10. Dolly Parton – Jolene
11. .38 Special – Caught Up in You
12. Adam Green, Har Mar – Superstar Never My Love
13. Goose – Black Gloves
14. The Ettes – Crown of Age
15. Landon Pigg, Turbo Fruits – High Times
16. Little Joy – Unattainable
17. The Chordettes – Lollipop (Squeak E. Clean & Desert Eagles Remix)
18. The Go! Team – Doing It Right
19. Apollo Sunshine – Breeze

Boring Technical Crap

Written by: Shauna Cross (book and screenplay)

Directed by: Drew Barrymore

Starring

Ellen Page – Bliss ‘Babe Ruthless’ Cavendar

Alia Shawkat – Pash

Drew Barrymore – Smashley Simpson

Eulala Scheel- Shania Cavendar

Marcia Gay Harden – Brooke Cavendar

Juliette Lewis – Iron Maven

Rachel Bockheim / Jackie Daniels – Jackie Daniels

Kristen Wiig – Maggie Mayhem

Ari Graynor – Eva Destruction

Eve – Rosa Sparks

Zoe Bell – Bloody Holly

Andrew Wilson – Razor

Landon Pigg – Oliver

Bottom Line

See it.

9 thoughts on “Booze Revooze: A Drinker’s Skewed View of WHIP IT

  1. Once upon a time there was a large barnlike auditorium built next to the railroad tracks in the industrial town of Brisbane. Brisbane was industrial simply becaause it was on the outskirts of San Francisco, downwind and even shielded by San Bruno Mountain from just about everything else except the bay and its shipping, the railroad goes right through it as does HWY 101 and the next stop down the road is the SF International Airport. In short Brisbane was made for shipping and that auditorium? Originally named The California State Livestock Pavilion, it became better known and eventually change its name to The Cow Palace and between cattle auctions it hosted such events as:

    It hosted the San Francisco Warriors of the NBA from 1962 to 1964 and again from 1966 to 1971. The Warriors temporarily returned to the Cow Palace to host the 1975 NBA Finals due to the fact that the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum Arena was booked for an Ice Follies performance. It was the site of both the 1956 Republican National Convention, and the 1964 Republican National Convention. It also hosted the San Jose Sharks of the NHL from 1991 to 1993 until the San Jose Arena was built. During the 1960s and 1970s, the SF Examiner Games, a world-class indoor track and field meet, was held annually at the Cow Palace. The arena seats 11,089 for ice hockey and 12,953 for basketball. It has also been the home of the annual Grand National Rodeo, Horse & Stock Show since 1941 (except for a break from 1942 to 1945 due to World War II). The venue hosted the 1960 men’s NCAA basketball Final Four and the 1967 NBA All-Star Game. It hosted four WCW SuperBrawl shows between 1997 and 2000. It was the site of WWE No Way Out, in 2004, remembered as the event where Eddie Guerrero won the WWE Championship. On July 17, 2008, it served as the audition venue for the 8th season of American Idol.

    but most importantly it hosted the Bay Bombers of the Roller Derby; the Derby’s world championship playoffs were held at the Cow Palace every fall beginning from 1959 through 1973, when the organization was disbanded.
    for current status and history of this important sport: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roller_derby
    http://www.baycitybombers.com/

    Now this important historical site is in danger of becoming condos:
    In the spring of 2008, State Senator Leland Yee advanced legislation to allow Daly City to purchase the Cow Palace from California Department of Food and Agriculture’s Division of Fairs and Expositions in order to develop housing, basic amenities, and possibly a school for the surrounding area. However, the legislation was opposed by groups that regularly use the venue and other California citizens outside Daly City.

    On September 9, 2008 Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed this proposed sale of the Cow Palace overflow parking lot. Following the 2008 publicity associated with Leland Yee’s failed bill, the Cow Palace board of directors entered exclusive negotiations with Cypress Equities for a 60-year lease to develop the 13 acres (53,000 m2) proposed by Daly City.

    On a more serious note, I am looking for others who would get on board to suggest that Drew’s next project be on the highly competitive sport of naked female hot oil wrestling.

    Ok, wait a minute, you have Eve (who hasn’t don’t anything musically since she hit the silver screen) and Juliette Lewis (who rocks HAARD) and the only cast member to make the soundtrack is Pigg?? It is a rightious soundtrack, don’t get me wrong, but there really should have been something by The Licks.

  2. Ken, my Brother!

    Thanks for the history lesson! Seriously, it was an interesting bit of trivia and i really enjoyed the Wiki article about Roller Derby (i spent literally over 4 hours writing the review and didn’t have enough time to check out the sport itself, so i appreciate your input).

    As for the music, i didn’t even know Eve was a singer (!) before acting but of course i knew about the licks and i was just as bummed as you were to see she wasn’t included in the soundtrack. The only reason i could see is that The Licks are no longer, but still…

    i’m with you on the nude wrestling. i’ll take a petition up over the Bar.

    Al K Hall

  3. On this:[A special shout out to Miss Demeanor for her insightful comments about John Hughes.]

    and this:

    “She. Is. The. Coolest. Apart from Miss Demeanor, obviously, who is the coolest Ever.”

    Thank you, dear. Kudos appreciated. 🙂 Glad to know I am at least as cool as Juliette, who is pretty cool, albeit in a freaky, very wild way. :p

    Maaaaaan, I love Drew. She has been on my List forever! Yeah, that List. Thanks for the hot pics of her. I am *so proud* of her for directing her first movie. All in all she did a great job.

    Andrew Wilson — he is hot, too!! I really liked him as the coach in this movie. Thanks for the pics of him.

    The cigarette pics make me want to start smoking again, though, arrrrghhhhhh!! *trying to think of something other than cigs*

    I really like those pics of Zoe Bell, too. I could ad her to the List easily as well! She is spunky. She kind of reminds me of Jennifer Grey and what she would have looked like if she had never had a nose job. Zoe Bell is very interesting-looking. Props on the other pics here, too. You found some good ones!

    Okay about the actual review (kinda distracted by the eye candy, I am, as I scroll back and forth from the post to the comments box).

    This is very apt:
    “No, it’s not a perfect movie. Like i just said, it tries too hard to be Juno on keg beer and the soundtrack is just a little too perfect to be anything but market studied. And some of the lines fall as flat as one of those English beers they drink warm for no apparent reason other than to show off how odd they are.

    But these little flies in the punch bowl don’t get in the way of a good time.

    I think all you have said here sums it up for me, too, for the most part.

    But then, I have to say this: I watched this movie with some middle-aged bitterness and disillusionment, though, I really did. It made me a little sad and pining for the Drew Barrymore movie *after* she turns 40, and when things are looking a lot different past middle age.

    The thing I disliked about this movie, and the thing that made me personally very depressed about it, was having to relate more to Bliss’ mom, Marcia Gay Harden as the clichéd washed up beauty queen who was living behind the times than I could relate to Ellen Page, who kind of was on the verge of being really annoying with her cuteness in this movie. Too many puppy dog looks from our brown-eyed Miss Page, there were, IMHO.

    This movie made me, as a pretty hot MILF of a 41 year old, feel old as shit. Shit so old and dry it is turning white. Like a turd left on the pavement in summer. That kind of old. Maybe this is my own mid-life crisising going on which is influencing me here, but I remember the days of watching the John Hughes movies and relating to the main characters and their emotional plights. It was so disillusioning to be watching this movie and feeling like it was not made for me, it was made for much younger women, and the women who were my age in the movie was one old, washed up, and boring postal worker with a cork up her butt. I felt left out and really ancient as a result. It was depressing and disappointing for me to feel that way, and it made me wish that the mom could have been the “cool, permissive parent” in the movie instead of the dad.

    Okay, sour grapes, whatever… I just know that it made me feel kind of sad that all the cool people in the movie, all the ones that had interesting things happening to them, were a lot younger than me. The next-oldest person was 36, and she was portrayed as ancient, kind of bitter towards the young ingénue for having seemingly gotten something in an easier way than she did… She is five years younger than me, too. So even the old lady of the film made me feel old.

    So, this movie made me feel old as dirt and that made me sad, because in viewing it, I felt like the vibrant, exciting part of life for me is flat out OVER. *sigh* I wish as an antithesis to the mom there had been women that were just a *wee* bit older than 36 and also just as cool. Maggie Mayhem as a character comes *close* to this, and somewhat provides the kind of balance to Bliss’ mom.

    That and that Bliss went swimming with contact lenses with her eyes open underwater. That was a major blooper for me, and highly annoying, too.

    Maybe I am just jealous of Ellen Page’s cute petite-ness. I was flashing forward to when *she* is 40 or 41 and was thinking about what happened to Molly Ringwald in the past 25 years (see photos here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000208/mediaindex. Some are from when Molly was 16, and others are relatively recent). I hope that Ellen gets old and fat, lol. I know the old part will happen as a matter of course. Fat is up to her and her genes I suppose. But I am wishing cellulite on her, for sure. Petty, I know. But I miss being young and cute and Ellen Page as Bliss threw that in my face in this movie.

    Yes, old and bitter-sounding am I, huh. LOL.

    I just want a coming of age movie for ME, who is in the transitioning from someone who used to be young to someone who is older. I wish John Hughes had stayed in the Biz and stayed alive to do it. We need a Gen X “how to deal with middle age” movie, methinks. Maybe Drew will make it in five years or so and I can be comforted then.

    That’s my $11 (instead of two cents) about all that is “Whip It.”

    • i understand where you’re coming from on this, Angel, and am sad that the movie made you sad. It’s true that you’re working through some of your own personal stuff and i can see how this movie woulda pushed some of the wrong buttons.

      As for your idea of a movie/book about a hot 41-year-old MILF, i keep telling you that you should write it. i mean, people are always sayin’ you should write what you know, right?

      Love ya, Babe (let’ do lunch)

      Al K Hall

  4. Pingback: » Movie Review – Whip It Fernby Films

  5. Would do: Ellen Page, Drew Barrymore, and Kristen Wiig.

    Wouldn’t do: Juliette Lewis or Marcia Gay Harden. The first reminds me of puke, the second reminds me of my mother.

    Great review, loved the images of Drew (especially the one with her covered American Beauty-like in flowers… now THAT is hot!!!

    Peace out Brother.

    • Would do: Anyone who lets me.

      Wouldn’t do: Hmmm…..good question.

      Thanks for the props. i definitely love that shot of Drew as well.

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  6. Awful lot of photos of women with no breasts. I think Drew has about the only set of boobs among them, and hers were surgically reduced (a crime)!

    • Hi Breast!

      Wow, your parents sure saddled you with a difficult moniker to carry! Welcome to the Bar None, put your feet up on the table, make yourself at home and what can i get you to drink?

      As the for the absence of dimension in the photos, it’s pro’lly a combination of a couple things. The first being, as you mention, the fact that Drew didn’t want want to be up-sized by another actress and the other factor is that my personal tastes tend toward the smaller endof that spectrum so i chose photos more appealingto my eye. i hope that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.

      Hope to see you around here again.

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall
      http://www.facebook.com/TheBarNone

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