From the juiced-box and one of Meagan’s favorites (dedicated to her & Emily, the hotel barmaid from St Louis): Dave Matthews Band – Bartender
Ok, so y’all know how i’m the International Functional Alcoholic Slurperson, right? Well, one of my duties is to find gorgeous, talented young ladies and drag them into The Bar None and publicly ask them tons of questions. Living up to my promise, today i give you Meagan Flynn, the beautiful actress who won an Emmy for the web series unReal Housewives of Kansas City and recently starred in Up In The Air as a flight attendant (the cute one who says “Can, sir?” so it sounds like “Cancer” and brings Clooney the congratulatory glass of champagne when he hits 10,000,000 miles).
Meagan stumbled on my Booze Revooze, claimed to LOVE it and so i invited her to do this interview so i could get richer and famouser than i already am. Here then, is that exclusive interview.
Oh yeah. ‘Member how that one interview i did with Gabrielle Chapin started off with the intro where i just asked her to give me a list of words and then i plugged them into the text i’d already written? Well, none of you was successful enough in convincing me it was a sucky idea, so i pulled the same crap with Meagan. Just so’s you know. (The words she provided are underlined; remember, she had no idea what the text was.)
i bumped into Meagan on a flight from Florence, Italy to Paris, France. She was sitting smoothly across the aisle from me in First Class and she had the sweetest eyes i’d ever seen.
i said, “Hey, i just realized this but you look a lot like my next girlfriend!” and she turned a charming shade of blue.
“i’m Al K Hall, Functional Alcoholics Slurperson,” i continued. “Would you mind if i interviewed you for my Diary-a Of A Chronicle Drinker?”
“Only if you buy me something Italian and a whiskey neat,” she said.
Al K Hall: So there ya go. Italian crap and a whiskey neat. But that flight attendant was so not as good as you in Up In The Air.
Meagan Flynn: [Washes down mouthful of Tiramisu with the whiskey]
AKH: So let’s get a little personal. Where was it you said you’re from?
MF: Uhm, I didn’t actually, but Towsend, Montana.
AK: Cool! As in “Pete”?
MF: Yep, 2000 people strong and growing.
AK: Do you have a nickname?
AKH: Yes, it is. But what about—ooohhh, i get it. Sorry, i haven’t had enough to drink yet. [i call the flight attendant and get a bucket of Burgundy (it’s a First Class thing, y’all wouldn’t understand)] How old are you?
MF: Age will be available to those who can do the math off my tombstone someday.
AKH: Yeah…i don’t know. i suck at math. Let’s say 27 and leave it at that, k?
AKH: Speaking of, you’re obviously a hottie, but exactly what kind of hottie are you?
MF: Country Western hottie, but unfortunately without the Dolly Parton assets.
AKH: Not a problem, i’m more into ice cream scoops than watermelons, myself.
MF: [Chokes as she downs her whiskey and has the flight attendant bring another]
AKH: What’s something people should know about you before they hang with you?
MF: I’m Irish and Russian: I drink. I drink a lot. I can probably out-drink you—actually, I’m almost 100% certain I will out-drink you.
MF: That I out-drank them and then used their credit card to pay the tab.
AKH: That was you that one time in the bodega south of Austin!?
MF: I’ll never tell…
AKH: Moving along then. What about Up In The Air? How’d you get the role of the Flight Attendant?
MF: Through my fantastic agent, Shawn! Drinks for Shawn on me!
AKH: [i polish off the Burgundy and ask for a tub of gin that it takes two people to bring me—you have no idea what goes down in 1st, babes] And how long was the shoot?
MF: I ended up shooting 3 days but was around for almost a week and a half with rehearsals and fitting and whatnot.
AKH: What was the ambiance on the set like?
MF: The ambiance was incredible!!! George does a hell of an impression of just about everyone! Those guys are so funny and talented and brilliant!!!!!
AKH: [Mentally counts the exclamation points] Yeah, but everybody asks what it was like to work with George. This interview is all about you, babe. So what do you think George thought it was like to work with you?
MF: I think he thought, “Wow, American Airlines actually let one of their girls work on this—nice!”
AKH: ‘Cause you’re just that good…
MF: Exactly, I was just that convincing. Seriously, George was awesome. I really think that guy is going places!
AKH: Any funny anecdotes to share about the filming?
MF: I did manage to drop the F-bomb right in the middle of a take on a flubbed line, so I’m sure there’s a great outtake that would make my mother proud floating around somewhere.
AKH: Sounds like a good reason to buy the DVD with extras. Was the shoot catered? Did they have any booze?
AKH: Go Em! i’m looking forward to having her pour me a cold one the next time i breeze through St Louis. So Emily rocks, sure, but what about Jason Reitman, the director of Up In The Air? Isn’t he like drunk all the time?
MF: I would love to see Jason drunk! I mean, he’s incredibly awesome and, in my opinion, people get exponentially even more awesome after a few martinis!
AKH: Hmm, maybe it’s just your perception that changes after knocking a few back, but i won’t argue about it because i’m quickly getting super, super awesomer at the moment. Wait, did you steal any cool souvenirs from the set?
MF: Just the microwave from my trailer. Man, was that hard to smuggle out under my sweater.
AKH: “Is that a microwave under your shirt or are you just pregnant to see me?” [Laughs. A lot. Too much.]
MF: [Orders a double]
AKH: Look! Up In The Air is on the personal high-def widescreen entertainment thingy we get in First Class! Have you seen it before?
MF: I’ve seen it about 8 times. I’ve seen it sober, I’ve seen it drunk, I’ve seen it with half of Kansas City. I think Jason is on the way to making my entire paycheck back.
AKH: So, what do you think about the movie?
MF: I loved this film!!! If you know any Oscar voters, buy them a drink for me and convince them to vote for the film!!!!!
AKH: What about your scenes?
MF: I think my scene could have been better had Ryan Bingham [George Clooney] decided to make out with the flight attendant. I just think it really would have added something!
AKH: Great idea! Wanna rehearse?
MF: [Stone. Cold. Silence.]
AKH: Moving right along to your other projects… You’re the creator, writer and producer of the web series unReal Housewives of Kansas City. Honestly, “creator, writer, producer…” don’t you think you’re going overboard?
MF: I didn’t mention that I edit, direct, cater, animal wrangle and do the sound and lighting, too? Okay, not really, but hey, I did that other stuff so toasts to giving credit where credit is due!
AKH: Anything for you, babe. How did the series come about and where’s it going?
MF: It was the creation of 2 other local producers/actresses and myself. We are leaving it as a one season show for now, but i can tell you there is more web series fun coming from this chick very soon in the future—stay tuned!
AKH: Ok, but you gotta let me know when you launch it or i’ll have to puke on your Gucci sandals. By the way, congrats on the Emmy win for unReal Housewives…! Where was the ceremony? More importantly, did they have an open bar?
MF: Thanks! Yeah, the ceremony was in St Louis. No open bar, but that Emmy statue makes for a convincing way to get free drinks. You know, “If you buy me a drink, baby, I’ll let you touch my Emmy.”
AKH: Ooh, can i touch your Emmy?
MF: Try it and I tell the flight attendant to cut you off.
AKH: Gotcha. Speaking of drink, i watched all the webisodes on the unReal Housewives… website. My favorite, obviously, was episode #1, “Come On, Let’s Get Happy”, where the girls sip martinis and try to figure out what bar to go to for Happy Hour. Did you use real drinks during the filming?
MF: True story—some of the stumbling on the exit of the scene was not faked! Stoli Raspberry in August…a little goes a long way!
AKH: In the grueling minutes of research i spent preparing this interview, i caught that you play the female lead in the upcoming movie Last Breath. Can you tell me a little about the role and the film?
MF: Actually, it’s a supporting role. I play the lead guy’s mistress. That’s right, love scene coming up!
AKH: Go Mea-gan, go Mea-gan. IMDB lists it as “In Production”. When will it be released in Yeman?
MF: Ahhhhhh, Yeman…that takes me back.
AKH: As well it should! Any other projects in the pipeline i should know about?
MF: Fantastic new short film coming up called Closing Time. Really: Closing Time. Also a couple other shorts and I just completed an amazing photo shoot with the incredible Peter Chin and body painting by the awesome Cristy Guy. (Yes, you heard right, “body painting”.) You know you really should stop drooling, it’s sooo unflattering on you.
AKH: If you insist… [Wipe dribble off my chin] If a casting agent is interested, what’s the best way to contact you?
MF: Hit me up at my website: www.meaganflynn.com. My contact and agent contact is right there.
AKH: Any words for your many fans?
MF: “Only you can prevent forest fires.”
AKH: And never forget it, Smokey.
AKH: Hey, while we’re pounding these drinks in First Class, matching each other glass for glass and before we pass out on our asses, tell me, what’s your favorite drink?
MF: Maker’s Mark on the rocks, maybe a splash of soda.
AKH: When was the last time you had a hangover?
MF: Last weekend. Lots of red wine, there.
AKH: Do you smoke?
MF: No cigarettes for this girl, but I’ve had two cigars in the last two days. The one last night was a lot better than the one today.
AKH: What’s your favorite swear word?
MF: Shit…I have to think about that.
AKH: Finally, as long as we’re swapping secrets like saliva, what’s your favorite thing about me, Al K Hall?
MF: Is there anything not to like? I think that’s the real question here.
AKH: Now who’s the flatterer…?
[At this point the interview comes to an abrupt end as the plane touches down in Paris right as we simultaneously finish our drinks. As there are no winners in our drinking contest, we decide on a rematch in The Ritz later that evening.]
[Outro: Another of Meagan’s favorites: John Mayer – I Don’t Need No Doctor]
[A toast to Miss Demeanor, who knows more about Mayer and Dave Matthews than i do and helped me pick out the tunes for this post. Love ya, babe!]
Just a reminder that, unfortunately for me, Meagan and i never really met. The interview was conducted by e-mail and Ms Flynn was a real trooper putting up with all my ridiculousness. It’s been a real privilege for me to work with her as she’s very professional, drop-dead gorgeous and enormously talented.
i’d like to thank her for her time and effort in helping me put this together. i couldn’t have done it without her.