From the juiced-box and the soundtrack: Vaux – Are You With Me
Ramblings: Oui Oui Oui, All The Way Home
Final Proof: 2½ Shots
You know how you get drunk in a cheap French restaurant? The chef has a rep and the waiters are cool so you drink your wine and sit back, ready for a good time. ‘Cept it doesn’t come, ’cause when the food does its French cuisine trying to be American food and it fails to please no matter what nationality it’s supposed to be, just leftovers reheated in the microwave that are cold in the middle and bland so you reach for the bottle but the wine is watered down and tepid so, sure, you catch a little buzz from time to time ’cause it is wine after all but mostly you just want someone to bring you the check so you can go home and get drunk on scotch while you watch Betty Blue. From Paris With Love is kinda like that.
Luc Besson, who directed a crap load of French films in English (like The Professional with Jean Reno, which was also Nathalie Portman’s first major film) was investigated for involuntary manslaughter after a stuntman died filming Taxi 2, a movie Luc wrote and produced. i’m just saying Luc likes action and i see where he was trying to go with this movie.
He was looking for a quirky action film but he bailed after giving the story to some other guy to write the screenplay and then a completely other dude to direct. Maybe if Luc had stayed onboard, he wouldnt’a had to go down with the ship.
John Travolta has a good time with his character but the ‘crazy CIA agent’ is as original as a movie poster about Paris with the Eiffel Tower in it. Then we got Johnathan Rhys Meyers who struggles to act with an American accent and i kept wondering why they just didn’t get an American to do the freaking role, unless it’s sick revenge for Tom Cruise’s Irish accent in Far And Away.
The movie flows quickly enough and there’s a lot of action, just not anything new or interesting or fun. Next time, hopefully Besson will follow through instead of just passing off.
Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)
Sex: 2 Shots
i’m thinking that i shouldn’t go over two sots for any movie that has no nudity, swear to god.
Anyway, Kasia Smutniak (which i believe is Polish for “I’m so much hotter than you there’s no way you’ll get any smut off of me”) is in this. She’s this Polish top model who lives in Italy now.
Kasia Smutniak (30):
As for the Silken Butterfly, the same one flitted across this screen as Agora: the stunning Amber Rose Revah. In FPWL, she plays a dinner guest, Nichole, and we even get to hear her speak a line! She’s got this English accent as smooth as a pure malt whiskey that makes you gasp before it settles in your heart and gets you a little drunk.
For those who prefer Eiffel Towers to nice buttes, i got some John Travolta (56) for you.
And here’s some Johnathan Rhys Meyers (32):
Drink: 1 Shot
Here’s the breakdown, directly from my notes:
- [James] drinks wine at home
- Caroline serves wine at dinner
- 2 bottles of wine at dinner [party]
Rock & Roll: 3 Shots
While i was a little let down by the absence of real rock songs (other than the pop rock we get at the credits, which i posted above), the soundtrack background was hard enough at moments. Still, most of the 3 shots i’m giving this bad boy are because the action was pretty constant, so the R&R attitude of the movie was there, even if it looked like remakes.
Boring Technical Crap
Luc Besson (story)
Adi Hasak (screenplay)
Directed by: Pierre Morel
Kasia Smutniak – Caroline
Amber Rose Revah – Nichole
John Travolta – Charlie Wax
Johnathan Rhys Meyers – James Reece
Wait for it to come to TV.