Booze Revooze: A Drinker’s Skewed View of FROM PARIS WITH LOVE

[Click here for a guide to Booze Revooze and the rating system used]

From the juiced-box and the soundtrack: Vaux – Are You With Me

Ramblings: Oui Oui Oui, All The Way Home

Final Proof: 2½ Shots

You know how you get drunk in a cheap French restaurant? The chef has a rep and the waiters are cool so you drink your wine and sit back, ready for a good time. ‘Cept it doesn’t come, ’cause when the food does its French cuisine trying to be American food and it fails to please no matter what nationality it’s supposed to be, just leftovers reheated in the microwave that are cold in the middle and bland so you reach for the bottle but the wine is watered down and tepid so, sure, you catch a little buzz from time to time ’cause it is wine after all but mostly you just want someone to bring you the check so you can go home and get drunk on scotch while you watch Betty Blue. From Paris With Love is kinda like that.

Luc Besson, who directed a crap load of French films in English (like The Professional with Jean Reno, which was also Nathalie Portman’s first major film) was investigated for involuntary manslaughter after a stuntman died filming Taxi 2, a movie Luc wrote and produced. i’m just saying Luc likes action and i see where he was trying to go with this movie.

Kasia Smutniak In The Movie

He was looking for a quirky action film but he bailed after giving the story to some other guy to write the screenplay and then a completely other dude to direct. Maybe if Luc had stayed onboard, he wouldnt’a had to go down with the ship.

John Travolta has a good time with his character but the ‘crazy CIA agent’ is as original as a movie poster about Paris with the Eiffel Tower in it. Then we got Johnathan Rhys Meyers who struggles to act with an American accent and i kept wondering why they just didn’t get an American to do the freaking role, unless it’s sick revenge for Tom Cruise’s Irish accent in Far And Away.

John Travolta In The Movie

The movie flows quickly enough and there’s a lot of action, just not anything new or interesting or fun. Next time, hopefully Besson will follow through instead of just passing off.

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 2 Shots

i’m thinking that i shouldn’t go over two sots for any movie that has no nudity, swear to god.

Anyway, Kasia Smutniak (which i believe is Polish for “I’m so much hotter than you there’s no way you’ll get any smut off of me”) is in this. She’s this Polish top model who lives in Italy now.

Kasia Smutniak (30):

As for the Silken Butterfly, the same one flitted across this screen as Agora: the stunning Amber Rose Revah. In FPWL, she plays a dinner guest, Nichole, and we even get to hear her speak a line! She’s got this English accent as smooth as a pure malt whiskey that makes you gasp before it settles in your heart and gets you a little drunk.

Click On Image For Wallpaper Size

For those who prefer Eiffel Towers to nice buttes, i got some John Travolta (56) for you.

And here’s some Johnathan Rhys Meyers (32):

A Smoke

Drink: 1 Shot

Here’s the breakdown, directly from my notes:

  • [James] drinks wine at home
  • Caroline serves wine at dinner
  • 2 bottles of wine at dinner [party]

A Smoke

Rock & Roll: 3 Shots

While i was a little let down by the absence of real rock songs (other than the pop rock we get at the credits, which i posted above), the soundtrack background was hard enough at moments. Still, most of the 3 shots i’m giving this bad boy are because the action was pretty constant, so the R&R attitude of the movie was there, even if it looked like remakes.

Boring Technical Crap

Written by:

Luc Besson (story)

Adi Hasak (screenplay)

Directed by: Pierre Morel

Starring

Kasia Smutniak – Caroline

Amber Rose Revah – Nichole

John Travolta – Charlie Wax

Johnathan Rhys Meyers – James Reece

Bottom Line

Wait for it to come to TV.

11 thoughts on “Booze Revooze: A Drinker’s Skewed View of FROM PARIS WITH LOVE

  1. I take credit for the “leftovers in the microwave” schitck! 😀

    Yeah, it was like you wrote it… not much of a meal and I was left wanting by it. Also, I feel slightly sick after the fact thinking I spent time watching it. Not very good stuff. If you like junk food, though, it might be an all right time for you. There just is not anything of substance in it.

    Also, I really do not think that John Travolta is that good looking of a dude. He looks really weird with that goatee. Like he belongs in 1995. Also, it makes his mouth look like a pussy. Ew. So not attractive.

    Yeah. EW.
    That’s my final word on this one.

    • Babe!

      i meant to give you credit for the “leftovers in the microwave” schtick! Sorry it slipped my mind, Goldilocks.

      “Makes his mouth look like a pussy” lol! You slay me, chica! Actually, i rechecked and you’re kinda right. ‘Cept i think it’s kinda hot.

      Thanks for patronizing me, my Love,

      Al K Hall

    • I can’t believe you compared John Travolta’s facial hair to a pussy. I’ve never had a cat look like that before! Amazing!!!

      And, I’ll have you know, pussies (the human female variety) ARE attractive, although I’ll admit a lot more so with less hair…. LOL!!!

      • “I’ll have you know, pussies (the human female variety) ARE attractive, although I’ll admit a lot more so with less hair…. LOL!!!”

        What can i say? When you’re right, you’re right!

        Al K Hall

  2. I noticed at the hearing on his son’s death that Travolta had “beefed-up”(?). It looks like it works for this character (but we all know it is good living and getting older).

    What’s the deal with “no nudity”? Nudity and violence go hand in hand in Hollywood. Is it different in France? (I’m assuming it was a french production).

    • Yeah, Travolta fit the role well and looks good for his age. Better than me for mine, anyway, but then again, he’s the cult-ic, lot me. Maybe that’s got something to do with it.

      As for the nudity, actually i’ve noticed the trend more from the States than Yeman. Most Yeman films have some form of nudity and Yea-women seem much more inclined to disrobe; this one was a notable exception, but i’m thinking that the reasoning is it was targeted for US release, and thus purified.

      Thanks for patronizing me, Brother

      Al K Hall

  3. Great review Al, and I nearly agree with everything you’ve said there. I’ll admit, while I was watching this film this afternoon, I thought of you quite a bit, as it struck me this might be the kind of film that goes right up your alley.
    Re the nudity: I think the tenuous scripting in this ridiculously plotted film left almost no possible way to somehow shoehorn in a nude scene with the Smut chick, although that quick-change moments at the beginning was certainly worth a shot. Damn those pesky uptight Frenchies for not giving us some titties and some ass.

    And Miss D might have enjoyed seeing a pussy, if her comment above are anything to go by! LOL!!!!

    • i’m flattered that you thought of me, brother! Next time hopefully it’mm be during a cool movie (lol).

      And damn anyone who doesn’t give us some titties and some ass!

      Al K Hall

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