Dregs Of The Week: Feb 21 – Feb 28

Beer dregs this week, y’all. We got drunk German Protestants, a sword wielding mother, drunk monkeys, cures for alcoholism brewing, a smoking DWI, the Sheen family needing rehab from rehab, the Canadian hockey team’s beer on ice, drunk cops, Playmate butt cleavage, the girls of Lost and kegs more fun…

From the juiced-box and dedicated to Margot Kaessmann: Joe Raphael & Die Party Singers – Biertrinkers Lieblingsmelodien

[Press ‘Play’ to kick off a FebFest]

Feb 24: “That’s no lady, that’s my MOM!”

Don’t you hate it when you’re in elementary school and your mom gets drunk and threatens to cut people as she runs through your school’s corridors waving a sword?  A second grader in Memphis sure does. Some little girl spit on our little girl, so our girl’s mom went to the school to exact revenge after pounding a 40 oz Colt 45. Coulda been worse, 32-year-old Toni price could’ve been packing a Colt instead of just drinking one.

Feb 23: Just Plain Sad

Speaking of stellar mothers… What do you do if your mom leaves you and your siblings alone to take off for the bar? You follow her. Sandy Bellanger’s (38) 14-year-old drove to the bar with his 4-year-old sister and 2-year-old brother in the car to beg their mom to come home. She refused. She told him to drive back home. The cops stopped him for driving erratically, and while they were interviewing him his mom pulled up with her ride (who was driving without a license, failed to appear on a previous DWI, and was carrying weed). Sandy was busted for being a bad mom (letting an unlicensed minor drive, improper supervision of a minor, and child endangerment) as well as having an open container in a motor vehicle. Sounds like a candidate for drug therapy…

Feb 25: Drug Addiction May Cure Pesky Alcoholism

Apparently, alcoholism is getting out of the gutter and swimming deep enough in the mainstream that drug labs are going to start milking us. i’m not gonna give you all the boring details (click the link if you care) but, in a shotglass, docs are screwing around with drugs that’ll dam our desire to drink, make us feel like swamp muck, or water down our withdrawal symptoms. i have a full bottle of Disulphiram, the drug that gives you an instant hangover while depriving you of the booze buzz, but i’ve never tried it: i seem to be functioning well-enough on love (for Miss Demeanor). My only remark is that there are two kinds of alcoholics, those physically addicted and those mentally addicted and a “cure all” sounds too easy. Plus, we have to want to give up the booze bad enough to pop the pills.

The picture below is home brewed. Click on it and it’ll take you to my drink recipe for Medesin.

Feb 22: A Guy With Priorities

Here’s a guy straight out of The Bar None. Richard Fodrie (34) took cops on a high speed chase, getting up to over 100 mph on the freeway, until he finally pulled over. Why didn’t Dick pull over in the first place? He told the cops it was because he knew he was going to jail and wanted to get one last smoke in.

Feb 26: More Fun Than A Drunk Monkey

Zhora, a Russian circus monkey, retired to a zoo. Proving once again that monkeys are our close cousins, after he fathered several monkey kids he started smoking and drinking beer. He got hooked and began bugging passers-by for a fix, much like an unemployed father on the street. Unlike a human suffering from the same problems, however, he was sent to a rehab facility and not jail. i’m not sure this was completely necessary, as experience has shown me all you need to do is spank the monkey from time to time.

Feb 26: Cops Fail Sobriety Tests

Not as exciting as you might think. Dayton, Ohio cops volunteered to get drunk so their fellow officers could practice breathalyzers and field sobriety tests. One of the few times a hangover counts as a work related accident.

Feb 26: Beer On Ice

After the Canadian Women’s Hockey team spanked America’s lard ass, they did what comes naturally, take the party onto the ice.

Click On The Image For A Close-Up

The IOC got their collective panties in a wad but i don’t really see why. C’mon, peeps, we’re talking about a country who got their national symbol off a beer bottle…

Feb 24: Pop Bishop Gets Popped

“Pop Bishop”, 51-year-old Margot Kaessmann, head of Germany’s 25 million protestants was pulled over for drunk driving after running a red light. She clocked in at more than 3 times the legal limit which puts her at over 0.24% (click here to get the details about BAC). Holier than no one, the ‘high’ priestess resigned.

Here’s another song from the juiced-box, dedicated to Margot: Will Glahe & His Orchestra – Auf Wiederseh’n Sweetheart

The upside to all this is it gives me an excuse to exposé German girls.

Celebrity Dregs

Feb 22-24: ObSheen

Exclusive Scoop! Rehab centers in Cali celebrate the opening of the Sheen Revolving Doors, funded by Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller.

‘Member how in last week’s dregs i talked about how Charlie wasn’t gonna go to rehab, no no no? Well, it appears my article made him see the error of his ways because he decided to get drunk despite the risk of returning to court. Then he decided to go to rehab. It was a crazy week in the Sheen household, and TMZ was right there with them.

  • Feb 22: Brooke Mueller bails from her rehab.
  • Feb 22: Brooke Mueller checks into a new rehab.
  • Feb 23 (pro’lly): Charlie Sheen falls off the wagon so hard he breaks his parole.
  • Feb 24: Charlie Sheen checks into rehab.

God, these repeat stories exhaust me.

Feb 22: Speaking Of Re-Runs

Lindsay Lohan was interviewed by The Sun and talked about booze enough to get a mention in the Dregs for a record of something like the third week running. Here’s what she had to say about alcohol:

I’m allowed to drink now but I know my limits. There are certain situations where I have obligations. There’s no reason to (drink) because I don’t want to feel like s**t in the morning. I’ve now learned my boundaries and I’ve been very good with cleaning house with people who I know didn’t have my best intentions at heart. A lot of people in LA are very self destructive. Partying so hard simply isn’t worth it. Life is worth living and there is so much to do and experience, it’s wonderful.

Mini Dregs

Feb 26: Some Chick Named Vicki Gunvalson…

Some chick named Vicki Gunvalson from some show called The Real Housewives of Orange County got drunk and did a nasty. This 47-year-old married mother of two spent a night getting wasted and making out with a 25-year-old college kid.

Feb 26: Some Chick Named CoCo…

Some ex-Playboy bunny named Nicole “CoCo” Austin got this picture stripped from her MySpace page:

She seems to think it was because of the ass cleavage, i’m betting it’s because the photo includes an alcoholic drink. (Bet y’all didn’t see that unless you’re a woman or like musicals.) i’m gonna exposé CoCo here, but i just want to say i don’t get what the draw is. OK, sure there’s the natural gravitational draw of her massive globes, but are they really that sexy? Seriously? It’s like she’s got two heads growing out of her chest, for chrissakes. While they must be practical in a car accident, where does she put them when she eats? Nope, totally un-sexy. Give me a lovely lady with curves, not hemispheres, any day.

Feb 21: Dominic Monaghan Gets Up Chucked From A Bar

Seems Dominic Monaghan (Charlie from Lost) got drunk at a club called Voyeur in LA and grabbed a girl. He got thrown out and tried to sweet talk his way back in, but the bouncer told him to get Lost. You can see the video of this on my Facebook Page (and Friend Me! Please friend me!) or at TMZ Video. The moral of the story is this, if the place is called “Voyeur”, touch with your eyes not your hands.

Which gives me a good enough reason to exposé the girls from Lost.

Evangeline Lilly (30)

Emilie de Ravin (28)

Elizabeth Mitchell (29)

Maggie Grace (26)

Girls Of Lost Collage

Click on Image For Wallpaper Size

Bonus Round

Selma Hayek as Bavarian Beer Girl

5 thoughts on “Dregs Of The Week: Feb 21 – Feb 28

  1. So much to comment on…

    firstly, I think I need to know more about German girls… I thought they were mostly like the dancers on SNL’s “Sprockets”…

    Sad to see La Lohan so skankalicious…. and a little doughy. Le sigh. But good that she ditches some bad influences who didn’t have her best intentions (have I ever ranted about how much I hate that word- “intentions”?? No- that’s for later then. :))

    Coco- isn’t that Ice T’s wife… she has amazing, um assets… but a terrible boob job. Look at all that rippling!

    I love that the Canadian hockey team partied on the ice. Seemed fitting– and was certainly well-deserved.

    • Beautifulest Shells!

      i need to learn ’bout German girls as well and we don’t even have “Sprockets” in Yeman.

      i share your concern for La Lohan. Hard to believe she’s only 23 (yikes!). Booze makes everyone look like Tom Waits, which could be a good thing for a guy but not so hot on les starlettes. Looking forward to your rant on “intentions”!

      Coco is indeed Ice-T’s fresh squeeze. Squeezing, however, is not recommended in this case ’cause her boobs could explode all over your face and that’s just gross.

      Cheers to the women’s Canadian Hockey Team!

      Thanks for patronizing me, Princesse,

      Al K Hall

  2. “So much to comment on…” No kidding!! In fact, it is so long that I am finding I have to come back later. *sigh* It is well after 5 pm and I have not even showered! Ack! So I am going to try to come back tomorrow, catch up on the Dregs and on the movie review…

    Love you, Al.
    Miss D

  3. While german girls are hot, they drink beer warm and straight from the pitcher (oh, sorry, german mugs are really that big and they don’t use pitchers, but roll kegs from table to table. GO Germans!)

    I dunno who ghost wrote that little shpeel for Lindsey, but it sounds like something she said while drinking out of a german stein (warm beer out of the pitcher).

    Funny, my FB page has brought up your profile and says I should say “hi” more often. Maybe I should get off your barstool more often?

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