The Downside Of Up

My fellow alcoholics,

Here’s what i like about binge drinking: My cells dance. i don’t know if it’s just me or if it’s a medical thing that only alcoholics feel but i swear to god, when i’m drunk i can feel the booze fill each cell in my body like a disco globe. My atoms croon arias, my molecules sing solos, my bones whistle ballads, my skin purrs, my brain hums, my body composes albums as sweet as any wine. It’s a feeling i get from nothing else in life. i’m not saying it’s better, but it is absolutely unique. Because it’s a feeling that nothing else can imitate, those same cells and bones and brain crave the feeling when it’s absent too long.

Here’s what i don’t like about binge drinking: Everything else. The physical hangover the next day, the mental melancholy linked to the depressives inherent in alcohol, the spiritual sadness of acting like an idiot in front of my kids, my friends, my finacée… and this feeling lasts a lot longer than the buzz. The hardest part is living with myself for days afterwards. And—unfortunately for Miss Demeanor—living with me for days afterwards.

Six hours of extreme pleasure and three days (72 hours) of depression… The guy writing this would prefer to forgo the shit backing up into my brains, but the guy who drank last Saturday can’t imagine never feeling that way again. And that, members of Drunks Really Involved Now Known as Exiles Reunited (D.R.I.N.K.E.R.) and fellow delegates of the D-Generation (Drinking Generation) is the downside of up.

If you checked out my Twitter page before stopping by The Bar None, you saw that last Saturday got a little out of hand. The photo that heads this post is of my son in my neighbor’s improv studio recording a song he wrote. The session went something like this:

  • Shopping with Miss D and my daughter, i bought a bottle of Peruvian Llama wine (like i could make that up) and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice because it’s only 5% alcohol and i know me; i’m gonna want to drink more after only one bottle of wine so something not too strong is the safest bet.
  • We (my son, Miss D and i) went down to the neighbors—i took the wine.
  • They had some leftover Bordeaux that i had half a glass of after finishing the Llama wine.
  • i went back for the fifth of Smirnoff Ice.
  • After i finished that, i went back to the store. This was my fatal mistake. Usually, i’m too lazy to go out and buy more after drinking this much but i was motivated by those dancing cells i mentioned above; they were screaming in my ears about how great they felt and they wanted to feel even better and feel that way forever. Here’s some free advice for y’all: ignore that cell call if you can.
  • i bought three bottles of wine at the store, a red and two white, because the neighbor likes red and his wife likes white. i opened both and gave them each a couple glasses before i finished off both bottles.
  • i remember nothing after that until i woke up in my clothes, in my bed (thank god), the next day.

So yeah, not much to be proud of and what i’ve been struggling to get over for the last two days. Wish me luck. i’m down, but not for the count.

For those of you who’ve made it this far, i posted a video on my Facebook page [Friend Me! i have practically NO friends!] of Peaches Geldof sharing her thoughts about me and The Bar None. Enjoy…