Avril Lavigne Is My Pet Sin

From the juiced-box. Avril Lavigne’s version of “Knocking On Heaven’s Door”.

i have a confession for y’all. i like Avril Lavigne. Hell, i even like the version of “Knocking On Heaven’s Door” i posted. Even worse, the only reason i listen to her music, am generous in my critiques and forgiving of her talent to the point of being unfair is because she’s super hot. An ingénue, as Miss Demeanor says. i’m all about waifs and ingénues, babes.

Fortunately, there is one aspect of her i don’t need to defend: Girl knows how to party. Even better: Girl gets into other girls when she gets her drink on. Here’s the 200 proof…

Click On The Shot For Bar None Wallpaper

The rest of this post is more 200 proof shots that she likes the drink. It’s all shots for the eyes from here on out, babes, don’t feel the need read.

Scroll Down To See Her New-Found Maturity

"Get away, Al! You big, scary drunk, you."

"Are you sure this is what boobs are for? OK, maybe I'll try just this once."

"Hell yeah, I swallow! Par-ty Par-ty Par-ty. Go Al! Go Al! Go Al!"

[AlKHallism: If you’re interested in seeing flaming shots of her sober, there are some on my Dregs Of The Weeks: March 22 – April 5 post.]

[More AlKHallism: For those of you kind, desperate and kind of desperate enough to frieend me on Facebook, there’s a bonus video of our little Avril drunk.]

15 thoughts on “Avril Lavigne Is My Pet Sin

  1. Hmm, not quite sure I’d go for Avril. Too fucked up for my liking. Still, she’s good to look at. Wish she’d sing a decent song every so often though….

    • Rodney! Brother!

      “Fucked up” is my liking. Plus, because she’s fucked up and hot, anything she sings is good by definition. Feel the logic, brother?

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  2. Ohhhhhhhhh, hmmmmmmmmmm.

    This post kinda feels like a Boy’s Only Club or VIP Room here in The Bar None where the Bouncer has pushed me back and said “No Admittance.” I have to say for being the kind of place that The Bar None usually is (a place that touts everyone is welcome), I pretty much feel excluded/left out. In fact, I kinda feel like this post says “**Get** out! I wanna hang with Avril here at the Bar None! And if you are not for me, you’re against me, so if you don’t like it, LEAVE.”

    I mean, I guess I could choose to go all “Mmmm. Avril. Yeah, I would do her, too” but that feels like skanky lesbo porn with older/younger woman and makes me feel pretty scuzzy, not sexy.

    I could play the indignant lover and go off in a huff, but that does not make much sense either, as I know Boys Will Be Boys. Y’all need to get your rocks off on this shit, and I know that. But again, I thought this was the kind of place where **everyone** could hang out and have a good time, not just hetero Boys and Lesbians into fuzz and scuzz.

    So, I think I am just going to agree with Rodney, who wisely says, “Hmm, not quite sure I’d go for Avril. Too fucked up for my liking.” Me, too, Rodney. And I know this because I have grown up; I’m sooooo not an ingénue anymore — I’ve seen where this shit winds up. I have seen where being fucked up this way leads to people getting hurt and lives being damaged. I’m all for a good time, and having fun. But this is just too messed up for me.

    • Yeah, i see what you mean and understand where you’re coming from. As you and i have discussed, repeatedly, i just needed to get away from the introspection for a while and this seemed like a good way to do it.

      Al K Hall

  3. As I have said to you before…..I come here as well as to other blogs for support, to offer support, read others’ experiences, failures, and victories over alcohol. – and to somehow help myself with myself.

    However, I do come here a lot because of all the hot chicks hangin’ around this bar….and I suppose it certainly increases the profits. You don’t need to advertise dollar beers when you have topless dancers to get people in the door.

    I will now take off my top and join the crowd.

    Hey – even if this bar turns into a gay bar…..as long as you still blog about your trials and tribulations….I will be at the end of the bar sipping a soda.

    • Yeah, it’s a thin line i’m trying to walk here and god knows i have trouble enough walking straight as it is. A little introspection, a little humor, a little news, a little film, a little sexy and a whole mess o’ booze… all the things that make life worth living. Thanks for your support, brother, and don’t worry, the trials and tribulations are never far away.

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

    • “You don’t need to advertise dollar beers when you have topless dancers to get people in the door. I will now take off my top and join the crowd.”

      This made me laugh, Jabba — thanks for that. 🙂

      It’s obvious I’ve been havin’ some trouble shifting gears here at the Bar None.

      It’s a bit hard for me as Al’s Gal to go from a serious post that pokes at my own issues along with his issues to a complete turnabout with a partying Avril, yanno? Al *loves* this blog so much and it does him a lot of good, too, and so I feel like a bitch for coming down so hard on it.

      Then there’s that it takes a lot of time for him — putting together all the picture sources for the cheesecake here, writing the text for the Booze Reviews and Dregs of the Week and so on. It’s hours and hours of work. It leaves little time for interaction with Al and me to boot. Some days I wonder if I should even keep reading his posts here if they are going to be touching on sore spots for us both, but then he spends so much time on them, I feel like I both need and want to as it is a chance for him and me to interact. Otherwise, we don’t have a lot going on together.

      Long story short, this blog is a bit of a complicated thing for him and me right now.

      But the thing that I love about it is that there are people like you out there, people who write stuff like this:

      “Hey – even if this bar turns into a gay bar…..as long as you still blog about your trials and tribulations….I will be at the end of the bar sipping a soda.”

      and it makes me see how worth it is for Al to keep going, to keep working out the demons even if it is in a lighthearted way with this post here.

      I hope Al and I get it figured out.

      Here’s some more Avril news I ran into, too. Just to add to the Avril thing in the way that I can! 😉

      • I can see your point surely. However if this blog (and the variety show – ehhhh….sometimes circus- it is) allows Al to once in a while be introspective with his drinking and therefore continually seek ‘help’ out here in cyberland — as long as he can vent creatively on other topics as he needs, it may be worth it for him to do so. However, I often wonder how much time it takes to do all this- I know I barely have the time to once in a while ‘go to that healing spot’ and make an entry on my own blog. Work and life gets in the way.

        I doubt many people (including Al) are comfortable with having a blog with the one-sided “talking to the shrink” approach and be that vulnerable, but he prefers to break it up with comedy, sex, music, etc. and once in awhile allow us to listen to him and maybe help.

        Al – sorry to be talking about you in the third person here but I’m trying to help a sister out. And I apologize for spilling my drink.

      • Thanks for the words of support, Brother.

        About the subject matter of the reading material here in The Bar None…

        i think it’s just i got tons going on in my tiny little brain and it doesn’t seem that interesting to me or for me to babble on about my problems. i have interests other than drinking (like Miss Demeanor, movies, music and cute girls). True, booze is an undercurrent in most of my life and so i find it more interesting, personally and as a writer, to post about my other interests but always in relation to alcohol. (There is in my draft folder, for example, a Top 10 post about how Navels Are The New Nipples which will probably never see the light of day because it has no tie-in to booze.)

        It does take me an inordinate amount of time for most of these posts. The Dregs and Booze Revooze take days, literally. All the research, photo hunting and choosing, not to mention the writing, take around 15 hours. This is after i come home from work. All of this means little time for Miss D, though i don’t mind her interruptions and we do things like see movies, go to (the rare) party, and occasional excursions out into Yeman together. As for the introspective posts…i go there when i feel inspired and have something to share.

        The reason i enjoy spending so much time here in the Bar None with y’all is also another of the reasons she has a hard time with the smell here. i’m a creative writer. i have a Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing, had teachers who told me i wrote better than they did, and i have published around 25 short stories in various literary reviews around the States. Miss D likes my writing; one of the reasons she moved to Yeman was to live with the guy who wrote those pieces she had read. i haven’t done any ‘serious’ writing in months—except for this blog which, you may have noticed, isn’t all that serious.

        Problem is, it’s enough for me. It’s a way for me to blow off my creative steam. Problem is, for Miss D this blog is more like mental masturbation whereas my forays into literature are more like full blown sex and she’s feeling a little horny for satisfaction that this blog cannot provide. And, again, this blog is a time whore, a time hole in which i am spent and spend huge wads of time.

        Anyway, that’s a peek what’s going on behind the scenes here in The Bar. What can i say? It’s not easy living with Al.

        Thanks, as always, for patronizing The Bar None,

        Al K Hall

        PS Al likes being talked about in the third person. He thinks it’s distinguished.

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