The Booze Talkin’: An Exclusive Interview With My Mom

‘Member how in the last Dregs Of The Weeks i said:

On a more somber note, my Mom is coming tomorrow and you know what that means. i’m gonna spend one week drinking with her so i won’t have time to post much of anything for a while.

And ‘member how you thought i was kidding? Well, she and i have been drinking pretty regularly since she got here, her with her white wine and me with my red, to the point that the first night she was here i told her about The Bar None and y’all.

Now, one of the main reasons i keep my identity secret (other than the fact i’m a superhero) is so that my folks don’t find out about this place because The Bar None is where i come to be myself and talk about my problem without worrying about shocking those who love me. Anyway, i told her about how i’m writing this blog to deal with my alcohol problem and also to entertain you patronizers.

Long story shorter, we were both a little buzzed last night and i asked her to do an interview for this Diary-a Of A Chronicle Drinker, to which she agreed on the condition that she remain anonymous as well. (See? We’re a family of freakin’ super-heroes…) So here’s the impromptu drunken interview, the only problem being i didn’t write down the questions, just her answers. Good luck with that…

  • THEY LOVE ME (my Mom & Dad)
  • She drank a bottle of Chardonnay before the interview
  • She believes there’s a 100% genetic predisposition to to alcoholism, but will power can fight it
  • Her dad drank 7&7s, we grandkids could make them for him by the time we were 15
  • Her mother drank Harvey Bristol Cream sherry [which i learned is not a skin care product]
  • My dad’s dad was a skid row drunk (which is why my dad worries about me)
  • My sister drinks 1-2 glasses of wine nightly
  • On a scale of 1-10, they worry a “7” about my drinking because i have the will power to stop
  • My expresso (ex-wife) told my parents she left me because of my drinking
  • She (my mother) drinks for relaxation
  • My father drinks 1 martini a night out of ritual
  • My mother saw her parents drunk, but only when she was an adult
  • She wants everyone to know her parents were optimistic, accepting and positive
  • You have to lose a lot of life to recognize there’s a problem.” [emphasis is mine]

And there you have it. Hope at least some of it makes sense.

[A PS to Miss Demeanor should she read this: Babe, i realize that my relationship with my family in general and my mom specifically is dysfunctional in many ways. i pro’lly didn’t go into enough detail here about how the links between my drinking and my family’s and how one possible reason for my alcoholism is to justify that of my ancestors. i also didn’t examine what this could mean for my kids, who see their grandmother and father getting buzzed together. Even if i didn’t talk about all this, i do realize it’s there and i do think about it. i guess i’m asking you to go easy in your comments. But if you wanna talk about it, i’ll be the guy beside you in bed.]