Drink Mating: My Heart Is Thirsty

Here’s the freakin’ idea of the Century. Internet dating through empties. You buy a bottle of cheap wine (which is called “Soif de Coeur”, or “Thirsty Heart” in French) and drink at least ¾s of it to find a secret code inside, at the bottom of the back label.

The Code Is The Smudge At The Bottom Of The Back Label

After you’re sufficiently buzzed, you try to decipher the illegible scrawl through the warped glass. Think of it as a drunk test. Then you surf onto the A Thirst For Romance website, where another drunk test awaits ’cause you have to enter your code.

After that, you have to do things like remember your name and birthdate. And what language you speak (which is trickier than it seems, as “drunk” isn’t one of the options).

Then, all you do is sit back and wait for someone who also drinks cheap wine and looks for romance in the bottom of empty bottles.

As you can see, my soul mate is on his/her way. i just hope he/she isn’t driving to get here.

i’ll keep you posted.

[AlKHallism: Just in case you’re wondering, Miss Demeanor is fully aware of this experiment and does not feel threatened by anything the dregs of the net could throw up at me.]

11 thoughts on “Drink Mating: My Heart Is Thirsty

  1. Is merlot the only flavor? wondering the male to female ratio of being able to follow those directions (along with the desire to actually do so)?

    • Hi there, Brother!

      Actually, the flavor they had was “Merlot – Cabernet Sauvignon”, which makes me think of a mix of soft drinks i used to drink as a kid. There was also a bottle of rosé. And you’re right about the instructions…makes me wonder what my ‘soul mate’ will be like.

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  2. I gather in order to obtain your internet bride, you must laze about in the sand in some kind of post coitus euphoria?
    Did you click the tab that asks if you want one with teeth? I hope so. Otherwise, you’ll get some rancid chick from Siberia.

    Good luck with the experiment, and send my condolences to Miss D, once again.

    • Hi mate,

      Brother, i clicked the one without teeth! i’ll give you two guesses why but you’ll only need one.

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  3. I’ve dated the dregs of the net.

    I weep for you. I wonder if that works for other things… I could use a car dealer searching to give me a cheap car…

    • Babe!

      i have a hard time believing you’ve dated the dregs of anything. i’ll let you know if i see “Car Dealer” wine, K?

      Thanks for patronizing me, Princesse,

      Al K Hall

  4. What cracks me up the most is how you found this bottle of wine. It was in one of those supermarket discount bins with an orange sale sticker on it for a couple of “yemeni” monetary units, making it the equivalent of Two Buck Chuck. (if that link does not work, look up Charles Shaw wine in Wikipedia).

    Heyyyy now, I know this is Al being tongue in cheek “As you can see, my soul mate is on his/her way” but don’tcha think she is already HERE? Maybe this is, like, one of those retroactive deals. Like, you found me and then the bottle of wine just confirms it, haha.

    To Rodney — this gave me a belly laugh “Did you click the tab that asks if you want one with teeth? I hope so.” BWAH HAH HAH HAH! And still giggling as I type this.

    Anyway, to address this: “Miss Demeanor is fully aware of this experiment and does not feel threatened by anything the dregs of the net could throw up at me.”

    Good pun and truth be told, I think I actually kind of egged you on to do it! I am really curious to see what happens. ‘Course, we all know what curiosity did to that old cat. Eeek. Well, what can I say: if she can outdo me in any area, then let the better woman win is all I have to say.

    I’m not too worried, lol.

    • My One And Only Angel!

      It’s true that you egged me on to go through with the actual registration (still no word, btw), but yes, i think you, i and everyone else in the Bar None knows that this experiment carries absolutely no risk of souring our grapes.

      As far as “if she can outdo me in any area, then let the better woman win is all I have to say“, i leave this as a response:

      Happy Birthday, my Love,

      Al K Hall

  5. Ok seriously! Has nobody heard the term “Coyote Ugly”???? Two people drink up and subsequently hook up…. and sparks fly?!? Maybe, the following morning, as they scream at each other “How the FUCK did I get here”!??!

    I think this dating scheme outta include pictures – if you find the picture attractive by the time you get to the bottom of the bottle, more power to ya! Then, at least, you know you can drink your prospective mate attractive. Otherwise, lay the hell off. As an experienced drinker myself, I know for a fact that there are some people you *cannot* drink attractive.

    Tho I suppose it’s a personal fault.

    Tab me out, Al!

    – Josh

    • Your comments cracked me up, and highlight exactly what i found so amusing about the entire concept.

      Now that you mention it, i am kinda surprised they didn’t ask me to post a picture. Boy, talk about a grab bag in the dregs…

      As far as drinking someone attractive goes, i could tell you some stories from my pabst that would turn your stomach and maybe even get you off the bottle for good!

      Thanks for patronizing me, brother,

      AlK Hall

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