7 thoughts on “Drunk, Broke, Desperate

  1. Is it one of those fights where she doesn’t talk to you for a day or four? Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth brother, those silent days don’t always come round that often!
    P’raps you guys need to take a holiday somewhere that isn’t Yemen. Maybe somewhere exotic like…. oh, Oman?

    • Actually, Rodney — about this:

      “those silent days don’t always come round that often”

      Silent days are the meat of this relationship, silent days are our “norm.” A less naggy, more understanding person, I don’t think Al could find. That’s not me. (Not that I am a saint. But I don’t blab, I don’t nag, I give Al plenty of time and space to himself.) I think that is actually our biggest problem: we are not *able* to talk at all, we live out silent days in which a build up of frustrations occurs. Then, like I wrote in my comment below, Al drinks, all the feelings and things that need to be said come uncorked, and we have a mess on our hands. A spilled bottle of red whine (and whine?) that stains the carpet and our hands as we try to clean it up…

  2. We got to a better place later that day… Maybe Al will say differently, but it did get better, from my point-of-view.

    I don’t know if any of you have ever been in love with an alcoholic, but they do not make it easy to love them some days, eh? I know I can be no picnic (I’m human, right?) but at the same time, to have to handle all of the bottled up emotions that come uncorked when the drinker drinks is not a party. Not really. Unfortunately, I have not completely learned the lesson that trying to talk to the drinker about these things while he has been drinking is a no-no. Ya think I’d learn by now, but two years in, I’m still learning. Still trying to remember what I can and cannot do when Al drinks. I guess I slipped up this time because the drinker, Al, is the one who will actually *talk* to me, most times, the one that does not feel inhibited to say the way he feels. Unfortunately, maybe understandably, but unfortunately, the main emotion the drunk Al expresses is anger.

    Anyways, maybe he’ll be on here later to give his views, too, but I know as for me, I am not done with Al until the fat lady sings on this relationship. Some days I think she’s about to take the stage; other days, I imagine this is one of the longest operas, ever, and that fat lady is years from giving a performance. In the meantime, I really want, truly desire a relationship with Al. Alcohol sometimes interferes with accomplishing that… But I do love him and hope that he can see more and more that alcohol is like a mistress when it comes to his relationships. Some relationships are okay with having a third party. It’s just hard when he wants to get in bed with booze, and I am right there, watching the whole scene. I know that she is his favorite, and that he will set other things aside just to cuddle up with her. It’s this that is the hardest… But I see something inside of Al that is pure, and good, and whole, and also really dynamic — all good things, even if Al thinks that dark and sinister is the balance to his light. And that it is more cool to be dark and sinister. I see something beyond all of that in him.

    I love Al. I just wish that he could see more clearly what a destructive force alcoholism can be, and that it is going to take a toll on even the best, most beautiful of relationships.

  3. “red whine (and whine?)”

    LOL.

    I meant “wine” and “whine.” Leave it to me to fuck up a pun, hahahaha. *sigh*

  4. Al, old bean…you need to get in touch with me. When times are hard, you gotta remember what truly matters: friends, booze and the POTENTIAL for something worthwhile and fun to happen. Those are the three things that keep me motivated, because otherwise, you could be describing ME with that “drunk, broke, desperate” thing. I constantly ask “what’s the point?” about things, and constantly worry about going off the rails. But here’s what I wanna say: your site is absolutely killer, unique and worthwhile, one of the most fun blogs in cyberspace. You yourself are an utterly singular kinda guy, and I’m proud to have met you and hopefully forged a friendship (which we need to take to the next level by actually drinking together in person!). And, you gotta keep going, sir, because I depend on guys like you to keep my own journey interesting! Revel in your own uniqueness, believe in what you’re doing, and DON’T let women get you down, or lack of funds, for that matter. Now, you can turn around and give all that SAME advice back to me! Cause I’m doing NONE of it! Well, I’m trying, actually. But…life is a big old crapshoot, and I’ve been used for target practice lately. I’m still “up in the air,” as a matter of fact. But the future could be interesting…that’s the least I can say right now. The most? Well, someday you and I will be sitting at a cool bar, wads of cash stuffed in our pockets, babes lurking nearby, making each other snort liquid through our noses with laughter. If this sounds like a fun time, then keep it goin’, brother. Cause I needs ya! Here’s to da FUTURE! (tips glass….over; fawning cocktail waitress quickly goes to fetch me another…)
    Kevin

    • Kevin! Brother!

      Nice to see you stopping by. It’s been awhile. Thanks as well for the nice comment, the props and the encouragement. You’re a hundred % right that if things are looking a little shitty, that the potential for fun is always right right around the corner or at the bottom of the next glass. Funny, the blog you commented on was written one drunken night in June and while things have not changed all that much, they are getting a little better by and large.

      So here’s a drink to the future, to a time when you and i will be drinking together and happy as hell if not rich as fuck.

      i’m always here, man, always around and behind the bar at the Bar None if you wanna hang out or shoot the shit.

      Thanks for patronizing me, man,

      Al K Hall

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