Disposable Evening

Before i get any deeper into this, let me put on some ambient music that is definitely not disposable. My Facebook broder, Robert Storoy (visit his page and let him know how much you like his stuff) sent this on to me.

Robert Storoy (with Lorenz Vauck) & Trond Ihle (vocals) – Ved denne strand (“Here At This Hometown”)

[Press ‘Play’ for a Norwegian serenade; translated English lyrics at the bottom of the post]

Disposable Evening

Here in the Bar None i’m turning the classy up to at least…i don’t know, but a really really super high number, let me tell you.

In an effort to attract a better brand of alkie, i’m currently selling wine and guess what: we got all three colors!

Now you can tie one on here or get the buzz to go without fear of spilling. Just carry it to your favorite alley, park bench or under a secluded bridge with the love of your night, peel yourself a glass and feel the magic make you disappear. [AlKHallism: A special shout out to my bruder and Facebook buddy Liam Irvine who brought this to my attention.]

“But Al!” you protest (and me keeps methinking you doth protest too much, dude). “What if I’m not the standard brand of alkie you normally get in the Bar None!? What if I have a car and still wanna continue my disposable evening?”

No worries, i got just the thing. Anti-alcohol.

The company is no longer allowed to make the claim explicitly (partly because of the law and partly because it’s a bold faced lie debunked by any and every medical expert who’d care enough to give you the time of day) but if you go to Security’s website and read between the lines, you’ll see that by drinking their magic potion you can reduce the quantity of alcohol in your system. Thanks to this, you can drive without a problem less than an hour after getting totally drunk on my disposable wine. Oh yeah, it’ll also make you hangover proof.

A drink that removes the booze from your system! What’ll they think of next? i know, wouldn’t it be cool if there was a drink that you could drink and it would actually increase the amount of alcohol in your bloodstream? God, i’d love that. Oh wait! It already exists and is called alcohol.

These are the lyrics of the intro song, first in the translated English and then in the original Norwegian. i’m so freakin’ international it makes my head spin, ‘course that could be the lack of oxygen here on my “high” horse. Please, stop me now before i joke again…

Here At This Hometown
1. verse
High(up)in the sky above sea and land,
a bird flyes to the south.
Until the major means of storms would trot
Where no one dare’s to come.
Refr.
(But)When the morning fog disappears
in the bright summer sun
when the darkness turns to daylight it appears;
We are sailing in the gondola to adventures never known,
nothing’s so beautiful as the sunlight here at this hometown.
2. verse
We fought them hard, many vikings had to come
through stormy weather and rough seas.
Here a man founded his little home,
here he found his grave.
Refr.
(But)When the morning fog disappears
in the bright summer sun
when the darkness turns to daylight it appears;
We are sailing in the gondola to adventures never known,
nothing’s so beautiful as the sunlight here at this hometown.
3. verse
Here the wind blows, and the waves hit hard
This was the future price.
But the summer hours go fast here,
in this Paradise.
Refr.
(But)When the morning fog disappears
in the bright summer sun
when the darkness turns to daylight it appears;
We are sailing in the gondola to adventures never known,
nothing’s so beautiful as the sunlight here at this hometown.
Ved denne strand
1. vers
Høyt oppe i sky over hav og land,
der drar en fugl mot sør.
Frem gjennom stormenes ville trav,… Vis mer Dithen hvor ingen tør.
Refr.
Men når tåken den forsvinner
i den lyse sommerkveld,
og når solen skinner over disse fjell.
Da seiler vi i gondolen, frem mot eventyrets land.
Intet er så skjønt som solen,
her ved denne strand.
2. vers
Her kjempet seg, mang en viking frem
gjennom storm og hav.
Her har en mann sitt lille hjem,
her fant en helt sin grav.
Refr.
Men når tåken den forsvinner
i den lyse sommerkveld,
og når solen skinner over disse fjell.
Da seiler vi i gondolen, frem mot eventyrets land.
Intet er så skjønt som solen,
her ved denne strand.
3. vers
Her suser vinden, her bølgen slår.
Her er tidens pris.
Men sommerens timer går hurtig her,
i dette Paradis.
Refr.
Men når tåken den forsvinner
i den lyse sommerkveld,
og når solen skinner over disse fjell.
Da seiler vi i gondolen, frem mot eventyrets land.
Intet er så skjønt som solen,
her ved denne strand.

5 thoughts on “Disposable Evening

  1. It’s true that all those “sober up” medicines are bogus, but Roche pharmacies actually developed a drug to sober (your brain) up in seconds. The alcohol will still be in your blood stream of course, but you’ll mentally be a-ok!
    Unfortunately they didn’t release the drug due to fears of abuse.

    Not that this little story would be useful but it’ll make for some good bartalk. : D

    Cheers

  2. I love me some Norweigen lyrics. Please print more. They make more sense while half pissed, I can tell you, and I feel all Norse for some reason…

    Pass me a Viking, I’m off to Valhalla for a drink!

    • Yeah! When you get there, i’ll Val-halla at you and you Val-halla at me back, K? We can drink thick mead out of animal horns and stuff. plus, the more we drink, the better we’ll speak Norwegian. Sounds like a rockin’ plan to me, brother.

      Thanks for patronizing me, man,

      Al K Hall

  3. Cool tunage!

    a) the disposable wine probably is as good as that juice box wine, which means “pretty bad.”

    b) it’s just one freakin’ GLASS. Why bother?

    c) the best way for a body to remove booze from its system is to either not drink it or piss it away with copious water consumption, eh? I guess that’s kind of like the argument for chastity as birth control, though, huh, lol. Like b) up there: why bother?

    d) “Security” looks disturbingly like pee. Has a pear taste, eh? Hmmmmm.

    (Seriously, I just read online that the major secret ingredient is artichoke. You can get caplets of it at a natural foods store/pharmacy. It might be possible to just pop some of those caplets and get the same results. “Security” is an interesting concept, though! Sounds like it is more for drinkers who enjoy wine for the wine and not for its inebriative properties, huh.)

    • i agree, cool tunage! i’m the luckiest bartender i the whole world…

      Thanks for the insights and research into the other stuff. Not only is it sold by the glass, the glasses look really freaking small to me.

      Al K Hall

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