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i heard the news today, oh boy...

From the juiced-box and dedicated to the Bar Nun: Shinedown – Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide

[Press ‘Play’ for the FREE LINDSAY!!!! theme song]

Some generations are defined by their questions… “Where were you when Kennedy was assassinated?” “What were you doing when the twin towers fell?” And now,  “How did you first find out about Lindsay Lohan’s sentence?”

For me, i’d just finished posting last night’s Dregs and was shutting the ‘puter down when i saw the news flash that flashed the world.

Since then i’ve been like my bowels, in constant movement to rush to the Bar Nun’s defense.

Regulars, D.R.I.N.K.E.R.s, members of the D-Generation i implore you not to let Lindsay down. Who was there to slip a nip when we needed it most? Lindsay! Who always got into so much trouble drinking that we could feel good about ourselves? Lindsay! Who’s provided us with more laughs than a drunken Russkie on an ice rink? Lindsay!

Are we gonna desert her in her time of need? No, i tell you, no! A thousand times NO!

[PS For the record, i had to rush this post while Miss D was out with a friend because she’s SO not gonna get behind me on this.]

20 thoughts on “FREE LINDSAY!!!!

  1. Yeah, that time difference between Yemen and the states is a pain in the butt, isn’t it?
    It is a fact of human nature that the bigger the train wreck, the harder we root for survivors. I don’t think anyone really wants Lindsey to clean up her act, but we would be devistated if her self-destruction came to a sudden and way too early end.

    Is she a black form of entertainment or a living abject lesson and warning (“You’d better straighten up or you’ll end up like Lindsey”)? Maybe a little of both, but I do know that our lives would be less rich without Lindsey in it. FREE LINDSEY NOW!

    • Tell me about it, Brother!

      Of all the super theories you posited, i’m drawn to the black entertainment one. You know me, always barbequing those sacred cows.

      And thanks for your support with the cause!

      FREE LINDSAY!!!!!!

      Al K Hall

  2. In the years to come, I’ll warn my daughter about the perils of becoming like Lindsey. She’s only 1 at the moment, but she’ll learn.

    Oh Lindsey, if the judge had noticed those “fuck you” fingernails earlier she might have got more time in the pokey. I don’t really feel sorry for her, but I do feel sorry for those poor paparazzi who won’t make any money with her locked up. Now THERE’s some poor bastards!

    But: on an entertainment level, I haven’t seen such a great breakdown since Paris Hilton was dragged screaming into her car and off to jail! The sobs, the tears, the incomprehensible babbling: if some internet meme doesn’t come out of this, i’ll be a monkeys uncle.

    THIS IS SPARTA!! Avante!

    • Yeah! i loved that middle fingernail. I’ll be posting that on the FREE LINDSAY!!! Facebook Group later today when i’m back in the Bar None.

      What also is true is that i sure as hell wouldn’t want my daughter (13-years-old) to end up like this…



      Al K Hall

  3. Oh wait, Oh man, this is a good one….

    If Lindsey is the Bar Nun, does this mean she has a “habit”?

    Oh shit, I’ll be here all week with this stuff….

  4. I think in prison the term “mean girls” takes on a whole new meaning…

    You’re right Al, without her around to provide nip slips and pantie-less exits from cars, we’re going to have to go back to appreciating…. shit….. Paris Hilton.

      • Probably true… Did Brittney or Paris ever engage in a lesbian relationship? The closest Brittney ever did was snogging Madonna that time, and Paris only goes for cock (according to the high-budget “One Night In Paris” vid, which will NOT be reviewed at my website!) so I guess our only hope of chick-to-chick action on the celeb circuit is Ellen and Porscha (ew) or Lindsey and anybody who dares to try!

        Here’s hoping some crazed lesbian prison footage from Lindsay’s drunken binge in jail makes it to the web.


        Rodney **rapidly ran out of “nun” jokes, sorry**

      • Dead on about the lesbian stuff! There was some blossip (blog gossip–i just made that up) a couple days ago about Lilo bein’ with an Israeli chick. i downloaded a picture and i’ll try to remember to post it later when i’m back home in the Bar None.

        Going to Peaces,

        Al K Hall

      • Here’s that photo of Lindsay’s new squeeze i’s talkin’ ’bout.

        Eilat Anschel

        At your service!

        Al K Hall

      • for a second there I thought I read Al as sayin he was “going to Peaches” and I was thinkin that Geldof would fit right in here.

      • That sounds ’bout right…

        If Lindsay has to go to the Big House, Peaches should have to go to keep her company…

        Thanks for patronizing me,

        Al K Hall

  5. “[PS For the record, i had to rush this post while Miss D was out with a friend because she’s SO not gonna get behind me on this.]”

    No shit, Sherlock — SEND THE FUCKING C*NT TO JAIL! (lol)

    I do not feel one bit of pity for the HoHan.

    Here’s a great link I found with the video of her in court:

    WEEEEEOOOO. Not. She deserves every bit of the 90 days she’s getting, even tho’ she probably won’t serve all the days.

    I think why I feel so passionate about it is that she used to be a talented girl, she used to be someone adorable, and someone with savvy. To watch this young woman turn into a Gollum-like wasteoid, a woman who at 23 looks like she is 43 with a bad plastic surgery job, is so sad.

    Most of all what I have hated, though, is the complete “fuck you” attitude she has had — the attitude that says “I am exempt from consequences because I am a star.” She’s no more exempt than any other fuck up, and it’s time she knew it.

    “Pull your shit together, chick.” That’s what the judge is rightly trying to say, and it is time someone did.

      • Hee hee hee hee! Yeah, y’all watch yourselves, now.

        Actually, then there’s the fact that I really want to see her last another 20 years so I *can* see what she is like at 43. I’m so curious about how that is going to turn out. Is she going to go Full On Lez? Will she wind up getting hitched and popping out little Lindseys out of that already overstretched vag? How does this story go? Will she pull a Robert Downey Junior and resurrect her career, becoming something great?

        Is she going to become a crazy old lezzy, a boring mom, or just dead? I would not want it to end in the latter. We need Lindsey to stay alive and entertaining us for years to come.

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