Self Unemployed: Hidden Motives

Here’s a recent photo of mine that i’ll be adding to the Photo’s: Self-Unemployed page.

Hidden Motives

In other news, i’m still dry. i haven’t had a drink since June 13, which means i’m going on a bazillion weeks dry. Some days are harder than others, but in general i’ve been enjoying this unusual feeling of what i can only assume is something y’all normal people refer to as “energy”. Another big plus is a slew of hangover free-days.

The other day i ate with five clients at the restaurant where i’ve become known as a drinking institution. Thinking everything was business as usual, the waiter brought us a second bottle of wine toward the end of the meal. My clients were kind of surprised, however, because we hadn’t finished out first bottle yet. i immortalized this moment on my cell phone.

The glass in the middle contains the two fingers i’d poured myself to throw everyone off the scent. Apparently it worked too well, as evidenced by the second bottle.

Oh yeah, if you care, i plan to fall off the wagon during my vacation which begins the 6th of August and ends on the 21st. You may wanna stay out of Yemen during that time.

That is all.

Thanks for patronizing me,

Al K Hall

Functional Alcoholic Slurperson

6 thoughts on “Self Unemployed: Hidden Motives

    • Oh no, Ken!

      Don’t tell me i’ve let you down! 😦

      To answer your question:

      1) Resetting the machine
      2) Getting some mojo back
      3) Saving some money
      4) Taking the upper hand

      i quit to be where i am right now, i guess. i’ll drink for the two weeks of summer vacation because everyone i know is going away and i don’t have enough money to leave the city. It’s not like i’m gonna stay in a drunken stupor for two weeks either. It’s kinda of a vacation without a vacation. Then i’ll quit again…until Christmas when we all go to my folks’ for Christmas.

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

      • I’m not let down as I’ve not got anything at stake in your sobriety. My health will be just as crappy if you kick the bottle, my ability to function and maintain relationships wont change and I don’t have to live with the reasults. Naw, I’m feeling the way you would if I said I’m planning on moving back in with my “ex” after finally getting my head screwed on straight and having my own life. Just wondering what we’re trying to achieve here? A vacation in sobrietyland just to see if we can hack it?

  1. I have to say, I agree with Ken. Going on a bender just because you can defeats the purpose of being on the wagon in the first place.

    Still, it’s your liver!

  2. Alcohol replaces oxygen in the blood stream, thus depriving the brain of oxygen. The less oxygen it receives the less it functions. This is how we get the dizzy, drunken feeling. The more alcohol, the more we are strangling our brain. Replace enough of the oxygen and it stops functioning (with any luck it simply passes out, but a little death can lead to perminent death). The brain, like any other part of the body, does its best to repair damage to it, but it must also be given a chance and some damage sometimes cannot be repaired.

    You wanna do this on the cheap? Just tie your scarf too tight in the morning and hopefully someone will come along and loosten it when you pass out during the day.

  3. I agree with Ken again. (Almost wrote “with Ken” but I know where that leads.) Why not take up auto-erotic asphyxiation instead?

    There are several reasons not to drink while on vacation. The first is that you won’t “be able” to stop again when it’s over. The second is that while you are past your “acute withdrawal” (in the first 9 or 10 days), you still have post-acute withdrawal syndrome to face. And if you start drinking again and then stop, then it just prolongs it. Similarly, your brain shriveled up from your decades of drinking, and it was just beginning to repair. Now you’re going to go and reset it all. And most importantly, you’re an asshole when you drink.

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