Miley Cyrus is Drunk

Remember back when you were 17 and you couldn’t get drunk at home because you starred in a kiddie show and everybody thought you were super religious and a good role model (even if you posted pictures of yourself in a bra on the internet)? And remember how you wanted to get your drink on? So remember how you hopped on a plane and flew to Europe where they didn’t give a rat’s ass how old you were as long as you were cute and drinking? Ah, those were the days.

Joining the ranks of Emma Watson and Emma Roberts, Miley Cyrus has flown the cuckoo’s coop of American puritanism to Europe, the land of the really and truly free.

But hell, she didn’t have to fly all the way to France. If she’d have come to the Bar None, i woulda hooked her up.

This is the part where i lie and tell you i got this directly from the source. Not from The Superficial. No way. i was at the club and partied with Miley and she bought me drinks and we sang “Up Where We Belong” at┬ákaraoke until i puked on her lap and she peed her pants. Yep, never even heard of The Superficial.