10 Drinks i’m Gonna Miss

My fellow alcoholics, D.R.I.N.K.E.R.s and members of the D Generation (Drinking Generation),

‘Tis i, your Temporal (as i will have to relinquish my crown shortly) Functional Alcoholic Slurperson here with another Top 10 Lips.

As you probably suspect, after the troubles earlier this year i’ve stopped drinking. While this decision is obviously something i need to go over in this blog, i’m still looking for an angle to address it in and still keep the trademark Al K Hall what-passes-for-humor tramp stamp that festers all through my posts like a tattoo from a dirty needle.

[For those of you who actually do care what’s up with my recovery, i’ve been unloading in fits and starts in the Comment’s Section of a friend’s blog: Bats’ The She Chronicles. The two posts where i upchuck the most are here and here. And Bats, babe? i’m so sorry for linking here without asking first. If too many of my dregs spill over onto your lovely flophouse, just let me know and i’ll bar the way (no, the other kind of bar, the bad kind, no the other bad kind, the one that’s a verb.]

Here then are those booze moments Al K Hall Free will long for the most because these are

10 Drinks i’m Gonna Miss

1. Free mini bottles of wine on the airplane

2. The first bottle of 3.2 on a 3-day bender

3. Vodka during sex

4. The glass of wine that loosens my tongue, tightens my speech, and greases my wheels at parties

5. Mojitos made in front of me by the barman while i’m sitting in a seat where Hemingway once sat

6. Frozen daiquiris by the pitcher drunk through a straw

7. The beer in the bar i cling to for ballast sitting across from the beautiful babe

8. Pastis on the beach on the first day of summer

9. Amaretto Sours on the deck of the sailboat sliding over the lake at sunset

10. Every drink ever tasted, wasted, nipped, sipped, lost or found, bought in a round, swilled then refilled, gotten free, tasted like pee, drank or sank even with the stank, forgotten, rotten, drunk straight down out on the town, slurped, burped, gulped fast or nursed to last, cold, bold, new, brewed, swallowed or spit ’cause it tasted like shit, consumed, resumed, hopped, dropped, toasted, roasted, put away, tossed back, knocked down and thrown back up again, absorbed, abhorred, dissipated, anticipated, partaken (stirred or shaken), quaffed, sloshed, drained like rain, tippled, rippled, lapped, sapped, sopped, rocked, swigged and sucked until it fucked me up and laid me down right on the viscous altar of a Friday night


[Click here for my other Top 10 Lips]

10 thoughts on “10 Drinks i’m Gonna Miss

  1. In the first few months of quitting, I’d lie in bed and think of all the drinks I’d miss too. Anything would trigger it: I’d think of running a half-marathon and then I’d remember a half-marathon I ran 10 years ago that was sponsored by Red Hook Ale. And I’d get sad thinking “I’ll never have a Red Hook again.” Then I’d ask myself “When was the last time you had one?” And the answer was “oh, about 10 years ago.”

    The ugly truth is that drinks of the non-alcoholic variety are not as interesting. But there are a few good ones that can get you out of a pinch: seltzer water, coffee, various fruit drinks, tonic water, ginger ale… Further, I only recommend doing this after about 3 or 4 months into sobriety but non-alcoholic beers taste pretty damn good after you forget what the real ones taste like. I drink about 20 N/A beers a week, actually, which is about half of what I was drinking before. And they do the job. Instead of getting loaded, I just get bloated.

    Keep up the good work.
    –ITSB

    P.S. You can still look at tits even if you’re sober.

    • Hi there, brother,

      Yep, you’re right about the inspiration for the post. Also right about “when was the last time?”. The last / only time i had a mojito mixed before me as i sat on a stool Hem once sat on was about three years ago.

      i’m lucky in the sense that i prefer the taste of nonalcoholic drinks. A Coke Zero just tastes better than beer to me (although i’m a sucker for for fruity rum drinks and things like Mike’s Hard Lemonade). i think the next time i’ll truly miss drinking is up on my parents’ lake house this summer and i think nonalcoholic beer will do the trick just fine.

      As for the tits…Miss D is convinced that’s another addiction of mine that “bares” looking into.

      Thanks for having my back, and thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  2. At least you covered it off with Number 10, Al. I can only imagine what this must feel like – if somebody told me I had to give up watching movies in order to live, I’d probably go completely nuts. If that’s even a teensy bit like giving up booze, then I wish you the best!!!

    • The Rod!

      Actually, i’m pretty lucky in the sense i’m a binge drinker and was never a daily drinker. Stopping has been fairly easy, which is something i feel a little guilty about and keep to myself when i’m at an AA meeting. As long as i don’t have the first drink, i’m all right, and i’ve been good about avoiding the first one. (Of course, the Zoloft they have me on is a help as well.)

      A more appropriate analogy might be if i had to give up writing. Then i would truly go insane. Fortunately, there’s no reason for me to stop because an addiction that is healthy.

      Thanks for the good wishes, brother, and thanks for patronizing me.

      Al K Hall

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