The following post is humor. It is not meant to make fun of any particular organization, organized religion, world leader, or religious leader. It is meant to make fun of all of them.
[AlKHallism: Guess what, ALL of the photos of Osama bin Laden and Muhammad are FAKE. They have been doctored for the cause of humor. The Prophet Mohammad and his follower’s DO NOT DRINK alcohol and thus these pictures DO NOT represent any reality other than the one in my twisted mind.]
[Press ‘Play’ for a song dedicated to Osama Beer Laden: Jimmy Buffet – God’s Own Drunk]
Y’all know me by now (and if you don’t, prostrate yourself on the ground in your favorite supplication position and thank your lucky gods) but i am not a conspiracy theorist. i am the total opposite of a conspiracy theorist. i’m a…Gullible Theorist, is what i am.
So if a sucker as big as i, and i’ve sucked some pretty big things in my day (i’m talking about booze, you pervs), starts smelling something fishy not coming from the kitchen or the Ladies’ Room, then you know something is off.
Let me get this straight. The most powerful nation on earth searched for ten years to find the most evil man on the planet since Adolph Hitler and when they finally catch up with and kill him, they forget to take any pictures? Or even show the body to someone?
Al K Hall: Firstable, that didn’t stop anyone from posting pictures of Saddam. Secondable, there are well over 3000 people aboard the USS Carl Vinson (where they death charged Osama’s body from). Are you telling me that among 3000 people in their 20’s and 30’s, not a single one knew how to operate the camera on their cell phone and post it to somewhere? Also, the supposed excuse for burying Osama at sea was that they had to be all muslim with his body. Part of this includes washing him, so he would of been all cleaned up and they could of snapped pictures then. Plus, after all the time they took hunting him down like a dog, when they finally get him they just throw the body away?
You: Yeah, but they had to give him a Muslim ceremony and they only had a couple days to do it.
Al K Hall: Christ on a—sorry—Muhammad on a crutch. Are you telling me that after this mother fucker kills 2,977 Americans in the most horrendous attack in recent history that we’re worried about upsetting his dead body? C’mon, did they kill some virgins to accompany him too? Also, since when is burying people at sea a muslim tradition anyway?
You: But Al, they have DNA proof.
You: What…so you think he’s alive?
Al K Hall: Hell no, you think the President of the United States would go on TV and tell people some dude was dead if there was still a chance of him popping up somewhere? Hells No. Osama is deader than an empty fifth of Jack Black and i’m sure everything went down exactly as the officials said it did or exactly as planned. There was only one small problem with the operation and i’ma show you what it was. President Obama was drunk when he decided all that shit about what to do after they gave Bin Laden a new hole. See?
But it’s not like he was alone in this. With my extremely accurate Booze Detector, i’ve unearthed that Obama wasn’t alone in partaking in some of the blood of Christ…
Osama bin Laden (1957 – 2011 ?)
Muhammad (1441 years old)