O’Beerme

Before we got down to the dirty, let me drop this plate from the juiced-box on ya: Mark Lanegan – Morning Glory Wine

[Press ‘Play’ for the coolest thing you’ll hear today]

A couple weeks ago, President Barack Obama took his show on the road and his first stop was Ireland. ‘Cause apparently his ancestors are Irish and now I finally understand why they say “Black Irish”.

You and i both know another reason he went there was for the beer and if you don’t know what i’m on about, shame on you because i was all over that shit ages ago. For example, how come you didn’t read about Why the Nobels Chose Obama which i wrote way back in October 2009?! And there’s no excuse for not reading the very recent Obama Beer Laden and, in fact, i’m kinda pissed off because you’re lack of reading it meant no one launched a fatwad on me and i was kinda looking forward to that.

Anyway, i’m thinking Obama wanted to start off his tour with a free beer. This is why it’s called a “round” trip: he’s on a trip and it’s always someone else’s round. Here’s the photographic evidence of that.

Obama is not a beerholic. Probably not. But this doesn’t mean we don’t exist.

People are always saying they’re gonna stop drinking the hard stuff and only partake of beer or wine like that isn’t alcohol. i’m beer to tell you, Barmaids and Beerhounds, it’s entirely possible and i’m nearly not living proof. Emphasis on Proof.

Wine was my drunk of choice for ages because it packed a 13% punch, cost about 3 bucks a bottle and 1 bottle was the perfect buzz. Two bottles was a good drunk and after 4 bottles was some of the best near death experiences i ever had if i could only remember them. Wine was easy to plan, ‘swhat i’m saying. Wine was faithful. i always knew where i stood with wine and that was right by her side.

Beer was different. i never liked the taste of beer and it always made me feel full and i had to drink a lot to get someplace else but that was also the upside, Chuck. Because i drank faster than a hole, liquor knocked me out quicker but beer helped me draw the night out and plus i got to piss like every ten minutes. Self-regulating, yo.

I'll Drink to That

All’s i’m sayin’ is i don’t believe the hype. Scientific studies (that i conducted in my living room watching TV) have proven the alcohol in beer and wine is the exact same alcohol in evil spirits.

If you’re gonna drink, may god be with you and not take you to the places i let the booze take me. If you choose not to drink: beer and wine count as alcohol, babes.

Bar None Dregs

In other news, i’ve been busy lately with writing projects and other blogs and going to AA meetings. Speaking of, i hit 5 months sober last Saturday. Also, thanks to Bats for stopping by to check in on me. i’m doing well, babe, ‘preciate your asking.

Linked to that [get it, linked to that? Don’t worry, you will right now], i started a new blog for movie reviews called WTF!? (Watch the Film). i basically take notes while watching a movie and post the notes and try to be funny. i created another persona to head the blog—his name is Saint Pauly and we’ll pretend he’s someone else but anyone reading this far is a regular and i got no secrets from y’all. Please feel free to Visit WTF!? (Watch The Film) and especially please leave a comment while i try to get it off the ground. Thanks!

9 thoughts on “O’Beerme

  1. First off, everytime I see that damn pic of him drinking that beer…that is a good damn beer. Sigh. I love beer, loved it, still love it, just can’t have it. I’ve always been an alcohol drinking, beer, wine, liquor, mouthwash but good beer gets my spirits going.
    5 months! you da bomb AL!!!!!
    I will most definately be visiting your link. 🙂 Thanks for posting. 🙂

    • Bats!

      Yes, 5 months, but what about you? Haven’t you been off for longer?

      Thanks again for following the link and leavng a comment and even subscribing! Wow, who’s da bomb now?

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  2. Grain Kola has never been my favorite, but has always been more palatable from a tap than from a can or bottle. Red Grape Juice is usually too full bodied for me, so I prefer white (sweet or dry depending on pairing). Straight alcohol burns a bit, but mixed drinks are a delight (Barkeep, you know my preferences). I’m usually up for trying something new, but first impressions are lasting, so I’ll always drain my glass, but may not have another.

    Yeah, I wondered about the logic when a company I worked for banned “hard” alcohol from company events on advice of their insurance agency and yet beer and wine (in massive amounts) were fine.

    • Wayne,

      Thanks for the visit! Thanks for sharing the alcohol tidbits and i’ll set you up with a round right away.

      Your company story made me smile. One of my clients here in Yeaman is an alcohol company (#2 in the world) and they just had a Don’t Drink and Drive Awareness Event with an open bar. i kid you not.

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

    • The Rod,

      Thanks for the offer, but i’ve heard that Aussie fatwads are mostly fat and i’m looking for more of a big wad. Plus, $100? Dude, i can do a lot cheaper in Yeaman.

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  3. Was wondering. Obama is know for both “beer summits” at the White House and for working brewski’s into his visits to other countries. Does he have enormous self control or does the secret service intervine if the President looks like he’s gonna be drunkenly unprsidential (scene: Obama and Joe Biden in the White House, knocking back a few after a heavy row with the GOP lead house. Obaba: “Hey Joe, wanna see Russia shit it’s collective pants?” as he flips open the “football”)

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