Booze Revooze: A Drinker’s Skewed View of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3

[Click here for a guide to Booze Revooze and the rating system used]

i got bragging rights again here and i’m taking them because i don’t get the chance to do it a lot and plus i’m staying up late to get this posted tonight so i might as well take a bow. See, i saw this movie on October 19. You see the date on the movie poster? Yep, October 21. We got this puppy 2 full days before the Americans and that doesn’t happen all that much in Yeaman, let me tell you.

Plus, ‘member how you go around not believing me all the time? Guess what, i got proof. Here are some screen shots.

"Can I film us having sex until the ghosts interrupt us?"

Johanna Braddy was "Lisa the Babysitter" (no, not the good kind of babysitter)

Ghosts Never Pick Up After Themselves

Ramblings:  Better Than Normal Activity

Final Proof: 4 Shots

You know how you go on that annual camping trip with your buddies and at the very beginning it really was to go out camping and drinking some beer during the day and whiskey straight in the evening by the campfire and do manly shit during the day with a few ghost stories before bed and then the second annual trip the ghost stories got a little better because everyone had a year to think of some good ones and plus the other stuff about camping became kinda secondary because you all knew even without saying it that the whiskey stories at night were the real purpose of the trip. Now, with the third trip, everyone really gets into the stories and even if you’re a grown man the stories still freak you out and then one guy finishes up a story and you turn to the guy beside you. But he’s not there. He’s gone and you have no idea where. And then a hand grabs your shoulder and…that’s what Paranormal Activity 3 was like.

PA3 is a preprequel. For those of you in the dark, Paranormal Activity starts with a couple terrorized by ghosts. Then, Paranormal Activity 2 showed us that those ghosts originally came from the younger sister’s house. Now, Paranormal Activity 3 starts off before that in the younger sister’s house and she’s pregnant with the baby you saw in PA2. The sister from PA1 comes over to drop of an old box of VHS tapes and this collection of VHS tapes is what we see in PA3.

So what. You don’t need to see the first two movies to have the shit scared right out of you in this one. The directors (Henry Joost & Ariel Schulman) do a kick ass job of starting the tension level way up at 9, and then turning it up a notch every ten minutes or so until you finish the fucking movie and you need to lie down because your heart is beating so hard it’s practically beating you to death.

It wasn’t just the directors pulling their weight either. Some chick named Terri Taylor was the casting director and she did an incredible job of finding relatively unknown actors to do great job. On top of that, she found child actors who are unbelievably talented, and on top of that, they even looked like the older people they were supposed to be the little child versions of. (Don’t worry, it all makes sense in my head.) Let me show you what i mean.

Chloe Csengery (Young Katie) - Katie Featherston (Older Katie)

Jessica Tyler Brown (Young Kristi) - Sprague Grayden (Grown Up Kristi)

There are a couple “make me jump” moments that really work even if i consider them to be cheap film making and there’s still that super big WTF like a hairy pus filled pimple on the face of this movie of why don’t the people get the hell out of the house after 10 minutes of being haunted, but even that’s not enough to detract from the incredible suspense and genuine fear that’s so intense it’s almost comical.

You wanna be really freaked out for real? See this movie.

Before we get down to the dirt, i gotta card the younger “sisters” who are too young for the Bar None. i’m gonna repeat myself, though, that both of these young ladies were amazing. i predict that Jessica Tyler Brown is going to continue to rise as a gifted actress.

Jessica Tyler Brown

Chloe Csengery

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 2 shots

Johanna Brady as Lisa (whaddya want!? it's a screenshot off a cellphone)

There is not a lot of sex going on here. Even when Dennis (Christopher Nicholas Smith) convinces his girlfriend Julie (a superb Lauren Bittner) to film their beast with two backs, the ghosts interrupt them even before Julie can get her bra off because ghosts are lame like that. It’s that “PG-13” aspect of ghosts that scares me the most if you really wanna know all of what’s going on in my head.

Fortunately, that doesn’t stop Lauren Bittner from being hot off camera, like this.

Click on the Shot for the Wallpaper

A very pleasant surprise came in the lovely form of Johanna Braddy who babysat the little spawns.

Click on the Shot for the Wallpaper

There’ll be some drawer shots of both these ladies “Down There”. Just keep scrolling, you can’t miss them.

For those of you in the Bar None more into “Anormal” than “Pair-a”, here’s Christopher Nicholas Smith.

A Smoke

Drink: 0 Shot

Like a t-totaller on Sunday in Salt Lake City.

A Smoke

Rock & Roll: 4 shots

Like i said in the intro, there was absolutely no rock and roll music in the movie and while the attitude was something less rock than Zombieland, PA3 was infused with a dark rock spirit that earned it 4 full shots.

Boring Technical Crap

Written by: Christopher B. Landon & Oren Peli

Directed by: Henry Joost & Ariel Schulman


  • Lauren Bittner – Julie Rey
  • Chloe Csengery – Young Katie Rey
  • Jessica Tyler Brown – Young Kristi Rey
  • Johanna Braddy – Lisa
  • Christopher Nicholas Smith – Dennis

Bottom Line

If you want the bejeesus exorcised from you, this movie will scare it the fuck out.

My Booze Revooze of Paranormal Activity

My Booze Revooze of Paranormal Activity 2

Haven’t Had Your Fill of the Booze Revooze? Click here for another round.

Al K Hall’s Drawers

Lauren Bittner (31)

Johanna Braddy (24)

5 thoughts on “Booze Revooze: A Drinker’s Skewed View of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3

  1. I’ve only seen the first Paranomal Activity, and wasn’t all that impressed ( I think I was more frustrated with it than terrified), so I’m glad to hear that as they go along they actually get better. Hopefully once the wife goes away for a week to visit the Inlaws, I’ll give the second film a shot, and then this one.

    Great review, as usual from you Mr Hall.

    • The Rod!

      For sure, the first one was all marketing but the second one was a bit better. The third one was heaps cool.

      And you know what they say in The Bar None, “It wasn’t a good review if it wasn’t written by The Rod.”

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  2. I haven’t seen any of these movies. At my age, it is hard enough to hold my beer, I really don’t need extra encouragement to wet my pants.If this “prequel” is still about a haunted house, then I smell a “pre”-pre-quel (or my depends needs changing) because to get a ghost, someone has to die.

    • Wayne!

      i mentioned in the review, this is already a preprequel. Number 4 will have to be a prepreprequel.

      And the one who dies just may be me!

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  3. Pingback: Booze Revooze: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4 « The Bar None — High & Dry

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