For Amy Winehouse: i Got Your BAC

Amy Winehouse Commits Alcohol Suicide

Click on the Shot for the Wallpaper

Turns out Amy Winehouse did not die from excessive knee bleeding from all the time she spent praying, nor did she die from a brain explosion while outlining a plan that would guarantee world peace until the end of the planet.

Nope, she died from alcohol poisoning. She OD’ed on liquor, s’what i’m sayin’.

Here’s what that looks like. She kicked drugs in 2008 and replaced that monkey with the booze monkey. That led to busts and binges, ups and downs and downers until early July when she quit drinking. 2½ weeks later, she fell off the wagon—and into an ocean of vodka. Three bottles after she drifted off and drowned in that sea.

Her blood alcohol content was  0.41%.

Blood Alcohol Content For Dummies

Lifted From Wiki

Lifted From Wiki

BAC results range from 0% (you’re dangerously sober) to 0.5% (dangerously drunk). The current law in the United States dictates that anything over 0.08% makes you police bait if you’re behind the wheel.

Here’s what it all means for us normal people:

0.01-0.029%

What You Do

  • Remember you have a watch
  • Have taste
  • Feel like crap

What You Shouldn’t Do

  • Feel superior
  • Make fun of drunk people–remember, you’ll be one soon enough
  • Stop drinking

What You Can’t Do

  • Say “No more for me. I’m done.”
  • Leave
  • Have fun

0.03-0.059%

What You Do

  • Pretend you’re not drunk
  • Overestimate your looks and your intelligence
  • Believe everything you say

What You Shouldn’t Do

  • Drink stronger booze
  • Play games in traffic
  • Allow anyone to film you

What You Can’t Do

  • Count how fast you drink
  • Say “Preliminary cinnamon”
  • Accurately judge the passage of time

0.06-0.10%

What You Do

  • Begin every sentence with, “I really shouldn’t say this, but…”
  • Walk into walls and spill your beer
  • Sing TV theme songs

What You Shouldn’t Do

  • Flirt with the ugly person you find “interesting looking”
  • Convince yourself everybody pees against public buildings
  • Think karaoke is a good idea

What You Can’t Do

  • Stay out of the bathroom for more than thirty minutes
  • Say “Subliminal ethnicity”
  • Call home, ’cause your significant other will aurally ream you a new one

0.11-0.20%

What You Do

  • Pick fights
  • Cry over everything
  • Think you can dance (and insist on proving it)

What You Shouldn’t Do

  • Go anywhere near a phone, you’re now in drunk dialing territory
  • Join a drinking game
  • Start a friendly game of “I’m gonna tell you what I really think about you.”

What You Can’t Do

  • Stand still
  • Stop drinking
  • Say “No, I couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing.”

0.21-0.29%

What You Do

  • Anything and everything
  • Forget everything you say
  • Wake up covered in your friends’ practical joke

What You Shouldn’t Do

  • Look up pictures of yourself covered in the practical joke on the Web
  • Debate anything with your significant other
  • Ride in a car with a nice interior

What You Can’t Do

  • Stand up
  • Sit up
  • Make complete sentences

0.30-0.39%

What You Do

  • Pee your pants
  • Hit on everything
  • Take everything way too seriously

What You Shouldn’t Do

  • Brag about peeing your pants
  • Heed the call to expose private body parts
  • Sleep on your back

What You Can’t Do

  • Talk
  • Have ‘just one more’
  • Say “Call 911”

>0.40%

What You Do

  • Pass out
  • Leak bodily fluids through several orifices
  • Die

What You Shouldn’t Do

  • Expose yourself to open flames
  • Leave the bathroom
  • Die

What You Can’t Do

  • Anything and everything
  • Wake up
  • Breathe

A Smoke

So, obviously Amy Winehouse was in dangerous territory. But how does she rank according to others? Has anyone that drunk been to hell and BAC? Here are some records and broken ones.

Clocking In At 0.45%

The tragic story of a 16-year-old honor student, Rhona Tavener. This English girl, not normally a drinker, went to a party at a rich kid’s £1 million estate, where they had her start off with sips of friends’ drinks before she downed half a liter of Smirnoff straight. She fell off the hammock, was given CPR by her friends as they took her home and showed up at the hospital in a one-way coma.

The world needs every sweet sixteen we can get, girls. Don’t drink and die.

Clocking In At 0.72%

Yes, nearly twice the death limit. Terri Comer (AKA Wanda Woman) passed out while driving home and crashed her car in a snow bank–within eyesight of a road sign warning against drunk driving. Man, if i’d made that up people would be all over my ass for not showing enough imagination.

Terri Comer

Terri Comer2

Clocking In At .914%: To Hell And BAC

Almost 1 percent of this guy’s blood was alcohol. Let’s just sit back for a moment and think about that…

Hmmmm….

So this 67-year-old Bulgarian guy gets bumped by a car and taken to the hospital unconscious. He smelled drunk so the doctors tested him. When they saw the result, they thought their equipment was screwed up. They did five separate lab tests to be sure, and sure enough: 0.914%. ELEVEN TIMES over the legal drinking limit had he been driving.

Some records were meant not to be broken.

Mr Bulgarian Dude, we at the Bar None salute you.

16 thoughts on “For Amy Winehouse: i Got Your BAC

    • Smart Guy!

      Welcome to the Bar None, brother. Pull up a stool, make yourself at home and what can i get you to drink?

      null

      Thanks for sharing your story. One of the other regulars, Booze Story, wrote a series of intense posts about his drunk driving arrest and i don’t think he’d mind my sharing them here. (The Arrest, After the Arrest, Healing from the Arrest.)

      Come back any time!

      Thanks for patronizing me, man,

      Al K Hall

  1. I am afraid I cannot comment on this – I simply cannot believe anybody could get so smashed they were still able to lift a glass/bottle to their lips to keep drinking…..

    Poor Amy Winehouse. I know it’s an old joke, and I know it’s in poor taste, but I bet her family are wishing she really HAD gone to rehab.

    And WTF with that Bulgarian dude? Man, that is some fucked up shit right there. He was so pissed, he couldn’t even drive bad enough to kill anybody.

    • The Rod!

      Tragic indeed and what a waste. Stats show that 900 people are diagnosed with alcohol poisoning every week on the States…50,000 / year (i don’t know how many of those people die, most are Uni students). Anyway, it’s a pretty big problem. Personally, i think more people should be coming here to the Bar None for a virtual buzz.

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

      • Ahhh Russians. I had a few Russian drinking buddies in my life. When I was in graduate school, I could never out drink them after a few shots of their mother’s milk, I was like that poor bastard. But after a few years I got good. And I knew I was in trouble when I was the last to pass out and they were telling me I had a drinking problem.

        Also reminds me of high school. Once on a lunch break my friend and I shared a 5th of bacardi 151 and came back to class. I’m really not sure how I got away with that one. I was very far gone.

      • Hi Bats!

        The Bar None was so much lonelier without you around to brighten it up!

        As for the laugh, i think you gotta consider the source of the laughter, teenagers really don’t know how to react in that kind of situation. Laughter often comes from a place of fear / the unknown. True, i’ve seen adults laugh at drunk people too, but they were often drunk themselves.

        Anyway, it’s loads better being on our side of the table!

        Thanks for patronizing me,

        Al K Hall

  2. I was a .289 when I turned myself in. I remember it in flashes and I remember them asking me if I wanted a hospital. I said no take me to jail, I wanna sleep. By all rights, I should have been in a hospital. I was pickled, but who knows if I had been there before? It was the worst hangover I ever had. So bad I remember waking up and thinking Wow and fuck, I turned myself in, but oh 2 thick blankets, what a nice jail. Haha

    • Rez Chica!

      How are you, babe? Pull up a stool, put your feet on the table and what’s your non-poison? [For those who don’t know, Rez Chica is the recovering author of the blog Just a Rez Chick, that’s linked on my homepage under Privileged Patronizers.]

      i’ve never had my BAC tested, though i have 2 breath tests i bought in a supermarket when i was still drinking. The plan was to test myself one time while drunk, but every time i got drunk enough
      i always forgot. i’m glad the jail time is behind you now, though not forgotten.

      Keep warm and thanks for patronizing me, Chick,

      Al K Hall

  3. Salute to Bulgaria! That’s some serious drinking.

    I’m still giggling at the chart from Wiki…I know it’s a serious chart and this is a serious topic but while scrolling down and reading I didn’t think I would see ‘Ability to Live’ on there.

    Thanks for sharing Al, you always do a better post on celebrities drinking then I do.

    And I feel your frustration Rod.

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