Harry Potted

Dedicated to all the wiz-tards:

[Press ‘Play’ to get a spell put on you]

Harry Potted in Hogfarts

Magic Potion

And just like that i was proven wrong once again.  ‘Member those Harry Potter movies back from when you were a kid? Remember how i said they sucked? Well, they still do. But remember how i said Daniel Radical-if was a closet alcoholic? Yeah, i was right about that, too.

In fact, turns out i was proven right once again. Looks like Daniel Radical was doing more in the closet than we thought because he had something to drink in addition to something to swallow.

Radical-if he was telling the truth spills the news about the booze when he talks about the period he was drinking nightly. As in every night. Damn good thing i waited until today to become super famous and not when i was 22 because i wouldn’t have just got drunk every night, i’d have dipped my magic wand in every hairy pot i could find, locking myself deep at the bottom of her chamber of secrets and guzzling fire water from the goblet until i wound up in a deathly shallow grave.

That Radical drank a lot doesn’t freak me out, in fact i admire his candor about his drinking, like when he says,

I can honestly say I never drank at work on ‘Harry Potter’. I went into work still drunk, but I never drank at work.

Nah, what really surprised me was when he went,

I can point to many scenes where I’m just gone. Dead behind the eyes.

This is really fucking impressive because he fucking acts dead behind the eyes all the time, so if he can tell when he was sober and when he was drunk on set…just wow.

Just like german beer, he gets a little darker, too.

 I loved the fact I suddenly could talk to people and feel so entertaining and so interesting. But after a while, you’re living under such a cloud of shame about what you’ve done and the dread of who you might see, what you might have said to them, what you might have done with them.

Welcome to the club, Daniel. If you want, we got our own little Hogwarts going on here that we like to call the Bar None and you don’t need an invitation from an owl to join. i’m not saying we can get you off the booze, i’m just saying it’s a cool place to hang out while you figure out what to do next.

Plus we got lots of jokes.

"I've seen Her 'miney'; can I see yours?"

11 thoughts on “Harry Potted

  1. Half the cast met wih the sudden influx of cash, fame and freedom about the same way. I admire them because they all got pretty clean when the series was over and they had to get “real” jobs (not all from that kind of environment are as lucky – Cory Haim, I’m looking at your gravestone here). Got to admit, his “acting” was so woody, I’d be surprised if he could find a scene where he was sober.

  2. Ditto to Wayne above, considering the cash floating about with these kids, I’m totally surprised most of them didn’t end up down the Drew Barrymore path to druck-fucked alcoholism years back.

    Nice call on Radcliffe, Al. About being dead behind the eyes. LOL!!

    • Jeyna!

      Welcome to the Bar None!

      Pull up a stool, put your feet on the table and what can i get you to drink?

      Thanks for stopping in, babe. We’re an eclectic crowd here;, but at least we’re all of us a little different. Come back any time!

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

  3. OK, i read one line and i love this!!! HARRY POTTER SUCKS! PLEASE BELIEVE AL, and me! My boyfriend and his family love this shit! Who are these people anyway?

    On the other hand, his true Harry, (not Truman) character rings bells; stunts growth, and gives one the “dead-eye” spot on. He qualifies for Program, Bar None. Stick around, Harry, belly up to Bar None and get your sense back.

    Ah, i feel better. Just like a non-toxic shot.

    Sorry, Al … just had to join in the fest-i-vus of Potter Pothead Protestations!

    It’s always quite hilarious to read about Gazzillionaires $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ who do their work shit-faced. It’s such a laugh.

    However, in YOUR defense, you make these rich drunks seem “funny”?

    I think their lack of AFFECT in reciting what they “May have said … or done” to others while intoxicated makes me cringe. HELLO, lets get humble.

    All right, ‘nuf said. I hope the cast and crew get their acts together, and don’t have any diseases that make them go “bump” in the night.

    • Melis!

      So glad i could bring a smile to your pretty face! And give you a platform to vent from…god but don’t you feel better when it’s out!?

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

    • Do you mean was it the audience that got drunk or naked? i think Danny Boy got naked and the audience got drunk…

      Nice to see you back and posting, sister!

      Thanks for patronizing me,

      Al K Hall

      • It would lessen the need to imagine the audience naked to concur stage fright and the booze would help with what can not be un-seen.
        Thank you, it’s good to be here.

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