Because these dregs are all about the stupidity, and you may be surprised to learn where the stupidity really is.
From the Juiced-box and dedicated to Steve O: Amy Winehouse – You Know I’m No Good
[Press ‘Play’ for what Elisabetta Canabis told Steve O from the very beginning]
Stupid is as stupid drinks. Kids all over the nation, if you believe the hype, have now turned to hand sanitizer as a way to catch a buzz. Here’s the dirt: Hand Sand contains up to 70% alcohol, which makes it 140 proof, stronger than almost every alcoholic drink on the market plus you can buy it in Wall-Shart without an ID. Apparently 6 Los Angeles youths were desperate enough to get hospitalized drinking this, so now the press is talking about an epidemic. Personally, just last week i saw a gang of toddlers using bad language to goad their moms into washing their mouths out with soap. Seriously, whatever happened to the good old days when kids would sniff glue and jam vodka soaked tampons up their asses?
You wanna know what really concerns me? Here’s the real problem with his scourge:
Anyway, Meredith from “The Office” was onto this shit way before LA teens.
Thanks to my brother from another brother, Wayne, who posted this on my Facebook wall.
Here’s an idea i can’t believe is catching on… Some Fremerican scientist has invented (that’s his American side) a stylish bottle (his French half) of pseudo booze that will get you drunk immediately. Sounds good, right? Read the small print, Barmaids and Beerhounds, it’ll last for 2 fucking seconds and costs $26 a pop. Since when did the world become interested in paying more for a lot less? Their fucking slogan should be, “It’s over fast, but at least it’s over priced.”
It’s a lot of fun but lasts under a minute? Shit, my sex life is like that, my binges might as well be, too.
i thought the only thing that could be harder to believe than the fact that Steve O and Elisabetta Canalis broke up was the fact they were going out to begin with. But i was wrong. The crazy part to this story is that he broke up with her.
Take a second to digest this.
broke up with this girl…
But that’s not even the whole story. You know why he broke up with her? Pour yourself a drink because you’re gonna need one.
He broke up with her because she parties too hard and he’s afraid for his sobriety. We’re talking Steve O a guy who became famous for being a Jackass, for chrissake. That guy places his sobriety above George Clooney’s drunk lingerie soft porn top model ex girlfriend. i only got one thing to say to that.
Seriously, i’ve been sober for 15 months and my life is so much better now than it was a year and a half ago that my biggest fear is losing all i’ve since gained. But even me and my gratitude would be hard pressed if some 20 something party girl (or, hotter still, Mrs D) wanted me to party with them all the time. Would i have the balls to make the right choice?
Alls i can say i’m glad i’m butt ugly enough my sobriety will never be put to that kind of test. Alls else i can say is that the freakiest thing that’s happened to me in a long time is i have a deep, deep respect for Steve O.
Steve O, brother, i got some shots of Elisabetta in my drawers that’ll take the edge off your hug addiction withdrawal.
Al K Hall’s Drawers