Dregs of the Week: The Week of May & June, 2012

Rima Fakih Wallpaper

There She Goes, Pissed America… Rima Fakih Wallpaper – Click on the Shot for the Wallpaper

Long time no dregs, so i’m back with a flash to look at some drunk ass shit going down in the world. Miss Drunk USA comes in both small and medium sizes, a drunk guy can’t get something off his chest, Amber Bynes is still drunk and has become Scout Willis’s rock ‘n’ roll model, plus Matthew Fox who played Jack on Lost still is.

Speaking of Jack, here’s Jack Johnson – Red Wine, Mistakes, Mythology

[Press ‘Play’ to ‘take a piece of the sun and drink some’]

Commoner Dregs

A Toast

A toast to my brother from another drunkard, In The Same Boat, who brought this little bit of tid to my attention.

May 21: Shoulda Stuck to 12 oz. Curls

i’m allergic to exercise. Serious. Every time i try it, i sweat profusely and my heart rate increases and my breathing becomes labored so now all i do is watch TV because nothing bad happens to me that way. i’m also allergic to booze. It makes me break out in stupid. Mixing these? Are you on bath salts and after a little face time?

Apparently Chris Bailey, who used to be 28, was. He drank with his landlord in England until 3am when the landlord went to bed, but when the landlord woke up he saw the front door open and the garage light on and found Chris couldn’t handle the pressure…of the weights he’d been drunk lifting. Chris had been working out in the early morning and was dead, crushed by the weights he was lifting trying to lift. Look on the bright side, Chris, at least you’ll be the burliest mother fucker in heaven. Maybe not in hell, though–they got lots and lots of burly fucks in hell– so let’s hope you’re going to heaven.

Here’s another reason, like you need one, not to lift weights.

Female Weightlifters Wallpaper

Female Weightlifters’ Wallpaper – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

Celebrity Dregs

June 6: Amanda Bynes Is Still Drunk

Amanda Bynes 2012-04-07 Big Head collage wallpaper

Amanda Bynes is a Heady Girl

Y’all remember Amanda Bynes from that one post where i told you about her so drunk driving that she crashed into a fucking police car? When she was so fucking drunk she refused every kind of test they could throw up at her? Of course you don’t remember because you were so into the photos that you forgot how to read but i’m here to remind you.

Guess what? She just went to fucking court drunk and i’m not even kidding because she pleaded innocent. After she hit a police car. And refused every drunk test that exists. The only logical explanation for her innocent plea is that she was so drunk her lawyer caught a contact buzz off her breath and oozed all the shit she wanted him to.

Go ahead and think i’m kidding because i know you and that’s what you’re thinking but how else do you explain her tweeting Obama himself to have her arresting deputy fired? If that’s not drunk tweeting i don’t know what is, and trust me, i know what is.

Amanda Bynes Tweet

June 6: Scout Willis is Stumbling in Amanda Bynes’ Footsteps

There seems to be a rash and not just the one that itches me late at night when it rains but one of minors getting arrested for underage drinking. For example “Boy” Scout Willis was popped like a cherry for underage drinking and identity theft because she had a fake ID (how much you wanna bet it was Michelle Rodriguez’s driver’s license she lost at some Tijuana strip club during a drunken lap dance for Rumer Willis?).

Scout Willis isn't a Minor, her parents are famous

Scout Willis isn’t a Minor, Her Parents are Too Famous

Adding to that rash is minor starlettes pleading Not Guilty by Reason of Infamity, i.e. too almost famous to have a record for drinking crimes. i rest my case in point on my lap and will tell you that Scout “Jamboree” Willis pleaded innocent to her charges as well and told her Dad to Die Hard the court’s ass.

Dec 3, 2011 – May 9, 2012 Q: What’s the one thing a Miss America hates to blow?  A: .19% on the BAC

Rima Fakih Mugshot

Everyone Gets a Mugshot in the Bar None

Here’s a Miss America i’m proud to have voted for. Rima Fakih (as in “Fakih, Fakih 10 dolla’) truly represents the intellectual cross section that is the U.S., especially how she gets pulled over drunk driving with an open bottle of French champagne and tries to get out of it by saying she’s Miss USA like it’s a real title and when that doesn’t work, she lies on Twitter about it by tweeting, “Wrong Rima Fakih” because the name ‘Rima Fakih’ is as common as … hmm, absolutely fuck all which is why i think she rocks and deserves to be Miss America. She reminds me a lot of some of the women i’ve dated in my life or at least dreamed of dating just like i dream of being with a Miss America so there you go, told you she was the right woman for the hand job.

Rima Fakih Drunk Wallpaper

Rima Fakih Drunk Wallpaper – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

BTW, for those of you who haven’t given up on this post yet (and god bless you for your courage), she was sentenced to 6 months probation and 20 hours community service which might have something to do with pole dancing, i’m not sure. It would go a long way to explaining the shots of her pole dancing i got stuffed in my drawers at the bottom of this post.

Rima Fakih Stripper Pole

Here’s a Taste

May 15: Tori Vance is Driving in Rima’s Footsteps

Not to be undone, Miss Teen Arizona 2010 (it was a very good year) decided to take it a step further by getting popped like a zit for DUI but this time, while only 18 years old. And just like that, the number one person in the world i wanna party with goes  from Kirsten Dunst to Tori Vance.

Tori Vance Collage Wallpaper

Tori Vance Collage – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

Matthew Fox DrunkThe cops pulled her over for puling an illegal u-ey and suspected she was drinking so they arrested her ass and the rest of her too but especially her ass and she hit just over 0.08% on the BAC which is the minimum to win a free trip to booking central.

There’s lots more drawer shots down there, Yo, after the “Continue reading…” link.

May 7: Outfoxed

Does Matthew Fox have a drinking problem? He’s fucking married to a woman named “Margarita Raunch” (Margherita Ronch), people.

Matthew Fox, dashing good guy hero figure of TV’s Lost, continued his downward spiral by getting popped for a DUI recently and that’s not even the most interesting thing he’s ben in deep, deep, trouble for, because this is the guy who nearly went to the pokey for punching a vagina. Punching. A. Vagina. He hit below the belt after he had one, basically. Hey, i punched twats when i was drinking, and i even punched assholes, but i never ever punched a vadge, ask any of the cunts i know.

You know what it is and you don’t so i’ll tell you, it’s the Get Lost curse. Y’all are pro’lly too young to remember but way back in 2005 i talked about how Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros got busted the same freaking night for DUI. If you’re keeping score and you know i am, that makes three Losers Losties and here’s a toast to my being around Evangeline Lilly before she either gets busted with “the others” or Foxy punches her in her Evadgealina.

A Toast to Evangeline Lilly

A Toast to Evangeline Lilly

So yeah, there are a lot more Foxy shots in my drawers with the rest of ’em.

Bar None Dregs

Happy Father’s Day!

Father's Day in the Bar None

Father’s Day in the Bar None

That Saint Pauly kid posted another couple of his What The Fuck? Watch The Film reviews.

First up is Amber Heard’s abortion with John Carpenter, The Ward.

Then, just in time for Father’s Day, there’s Rebecca de Mornay’s Mother’s Day:

WTF Mother's Day

Al K Hall

Al K Hall’s Drawers

Follow the “Continue Reading” link to enter the drawers.

Matthew Fox

Matthew Fox – Click on the Shot for a Wallpaper

Matthew Fox in the Bar None

Watcha Lookin’ At, Matt?

Rima Fakih

Rima Fakih Drunk

Rima Fakih in the Bar None

Rima Fakih Stripper Pole

Rima Fakih on a Different Kind of Bar

Rima Fakih

Rima Fakih

Rima Fakih

Rima Fakih

Rima Fakih

Rima Fakih After She Reads These Dregs

Tori Vance

Tori Vance

Tori Vance

Tori Vance

Tori Vance

Tori Vance

Tori Vance

Tori Vance in the Bar None

Tori Vance in the Bar None

Didn’t get your fill of the dregs? i keep them on tap right here.

4 thoughts on “Dregs of the Week: The Week of May & June, 2012

    • i got it! Tori Vance and Kirsten Dunst drunk together!! Why choose? If you’re going to hell anyway, you might as well go all the way.

      Thanks for patronizing me, man,

      Al K Hall

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